“I’ll record it one day and send you the video.”

“Please don’t.” He looked over at me, laughing as he found a parking spot. “If it’s anything like you looked after meeting that guy in there, I never want to know. Now, get out of the car before you start staring into space, so I can show you how to get exactly what your pussy needs.”

“Really, though? Have I ever told you how deep you are?”

“No.” He smiled as he got out of the car. “But that’s only because you and I have never fucked…”

Fifth Grade

Dear Carter,

I don’t care what you say about Dawson Meade the 3rd. He will be my first kiss and he will NOT care about my braces. He will fall in love with me and ask me to be his girlfriend. And then you will be jealous because you will still not know what it fills like to be kissed.

I’ll let you know how it goes after school.

Sincerely kissed,

Arizona

Dear Arizona,

I do not care about your first kiss, but you should know that Dawson is lame and he will kiss anyone. I saw him kissing hisself in the bathroom mirror last week. Trust me, he will care about your braces. They are still not pretty.

And I will not be jealous because I’m getting my first kiss from Rachel Ryan today. She said we will do it like the French.

I will let YOU know how it goes after school.

Sincerely FIRST kissed,

Carter

Arizona balled up my note and rolled her eyes at me as the bell rang.

I closed my notebook and followed her to her locker, where we always met after school.

“Are you ever going to get those braces out of your mouth, Ari?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I don’t want to hear you cry when no one but Dawson wants to be your boyfriend…It’s because of your braces.”

I’d thought they couldn’t get any worse, but sometimes she stuck colored rubber bands in them so she could eat. Sometimes I told her she should just starve.

“Did you and Rachel pick a meet up spot?” she asked.

“Yeah, we’re going to meet at the tree outside the gym. What about you and Dawson?”

“We’re going to do it in the parking lot behind the football team sign,” she said. “Do you really think he’ll care about my braces?”

“Depends….Do you really think Rachel will care about my hair?”

“What’s wrong with your hair?”

“Last week, you told me it was itchy.”

“It was itchy.” She closed her locker. “Because you fell asleep on my shoulder.”

“Oh yeah…” I remembered. We’d both got detention after school last week for passing notes during science class. And, as usual, whenever we got sent there together, I used her shoulder as a pillow.

“Ari, do you think we should…” I paused. “Do you think we should…”

“Do I think we should what?”

“Like…Since we’re both getting kissed today, do you think we should test out the kiss first? On each other? That way we can be honest and fix whatever needs to be fixed?”

“I was actually going to ask you the same thing…” She let out a deep breath. “If we do that, then we both won’t be so nervous when it’s time.”

“Okay, cool. Follow me. “I motioned for her to follow me down the hallway. I looked both ways to make sure no one was coming, and then I opened the door to the janitor’s closet and pulled her inside.

She set her books down on a ladder and I locked the door.

“So…” She looked really nervous. “How should we start?”

“Well, first…” I stood in front of her and made sure our shoes were touching. Then I did the thing I always saw my dad do whenever he kissed my mom—tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“And now, we’ll kiss on three.” I cleared my throat. “One…”

She shut her eyes and grabbed my hands.

“Two…”

“Wait! I forgot something!” She pulled a tube of lip gloss out of her pocket and glided it across her lips. “Now, you can count.”

Ugh! Girls…

I rolled my eyes and started over. “Okay, starting again…One…Two…” I shut my eyes and leaned forward. “Three…”

We pressed our lips together and let the seconds pass, waiting. Waiting for something.

It was nothing like the movies. Nothing was happening at all.

“Um…How long are we supposed to stand like this, Carter?” Ari asked, her lips still touching mine.

“I don’t know…Maybe five more seconds?”

“Okay…Cool…”

I softly counted to five and stepped back.

“So…” she said. “Did you notice my braces? Were my lips too glossy?”

“No to the braces, but make sure you put on the gloss before you get to him. How about me? When my forehead touched yours, was it itchy?”

“Nope. It felt normal, but when you kiss Rachel, just count to yourself and not out loud.”

“Got it.” I grabbed her books and handed them to her. I unlocked the door and twisted the doorknob, but it opened before I could push it forward.

“What the!” The school janitor, the man who made us help him clean up sometime during detention, looked back and forth between me and Ari. “You know what? When it comes to the two of you, I don’t even want to know. Get out. Now.”