Off to eat more ‘sweet cocaine’,

Arizona

Dear Carter (Josh)

Do you really think I don’t know Carter’s handwriting? Do you really think he would EVER write, “I’m so glad I listened to Josh about you. He was so right about fucking you one good time and [you] falling in love with [me]. That’s also why Josh will forever be my number one because you had a very long and selfish moment, but Josh has ALWAYS been loyal”??!!

Grow the hell up!

And learn how to write a proper sentence. (Aren’t you in law school?)

Arizona

Dear Arizona (Pain in my ass)

Of course I’m aware that you know Carter’s handwriting, but since we shouldn’t waste time discussing things you know, here are some things you don’t: Your never-ending phone calls and Skype sessions (mostly your loud ass laughter and incessant babbling about absolutely nothing: “Oh my god, Carter...I miss you so much, Carter...”This distance is killing me every day, carter”) have kept me up for WEEKS. Is it too much for the two of you to go back to strictly letter writing and emails?

I think I liked you better when you weren’t talking to each other.

You grow up first.

I will learn how to write a proper sentence...From someone who doesn’t start her own sentences with the word “And”.

Josh

Subject: Skype App.

Dear Arizona,

I’m not sure what could’ve happened to it between last night and today, but it’s not working. At all. Even the volume looks as if it’s not working. I won’t be able to get it fixed until next week, but I’ll have to use Josh’s computer to reach you tonight so we may have to talk an hour later than usual.

Sincerely,

Carter

Subject: Re: Skype Camera.

LOLOLOL!

Arizona

35. New Romantics

Carter

I closed Ari’s latest email and clicked on my latest term paper. On nights like tonight, it was if she’d never left, as if she was still minutes away from being picked up at her house.

Over the past few weeks, a new sort of routine had developed between us. Instead of weekend meet ups at Gayle’s there were early morning emails: She traded me her rainy coasts in exchange for white sanded beaches, and I gave her glimpses of moments at Gayle’s while she showed me her concoctions inside the cooking school.

At night, we talked for hours—despite the fact that we both had tons of work to do. We video-chatted whenever our roommates were asleep, and of course, there were still letters.

I didn’t think it was possible for either of us to ever let that go. [...]

When I’d reached the eighth page of my assignment, I realized it was midnight so I headed downstairs.

“Have you talked to your wife tonight?” Josh asked as I stepped in front of the TV. “If so, bravo. I barely heard your conversation this time.”

“You’ve moved Ari from girlfriend to wife now?”

“Might as well.” He groaned, handing me his laptop. “And I swear I wasn’t trying to kill your Skype app. I was just trying to ruin it so you’d never be able to use it again.”

“Did you actually hear what the fuck you just said?”

“I did.” He laughed. “Wait, before you go. I need to ask for your advice on something.”

“Yes, your taste in clothes is absolutely terrible. Was that your question?”

“No.” He rolled his eyes. “I think—”He paused. “I think I might actually like someone. More than just a normal like...”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said. “You’re not my type.”

“What the fuck, Carter?” He grabbed his beer. “Did I get sarcastic with you when you were moping about Arizona for months? When you were crying like a seven year old when every woman on this beach was willing to give her pussy to you and you were too blind to see it?”

I shook my head, refusing to entertain his wared memories. “Okay, fine. You like someone. Does this someone have a name?”

“She doesn’t. That’s actually her best quality,” he said. “But I don’t think she’s aware that I actually like her beyond what’s currently happening. There’s only so much more of this ‘just friends’ shit I can take, you know? I’m not you.”

“Is there’s a question coming?” I asked. “Or is this a venting session?”

“I need your advice on helping me figure out how to get out of the friend zone. Preferably by the end of the week We can discuss it Saturday..” He grabbed a pair of earplugs and stuck one in his ear. “Okay. I’ve told you, so you can go now.”