I waited for him to stop counting before saying, “It’s not snooping when it’s out for everyone to see, including your super-paranoid girlfriend who just happens to be the daughter of a shrink. If she sees that many milligrams she’s going to flip her shit, and you know it.”

Alec set the pill bottles in his nightstand and cursed. “I just. I—”

“What? What did you do?”

Bitter laughter bubbled out of him. “What didn’t I do? That should be the question.”

“Not following.”

“I didn’t do a damn thing. Not technically.”

“What’s technically?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer. “And when did this happen… technically?”

“You don’t even know what we’re discussing.” Alec cursed and jerked open his dresser. Again color coded. He pulled a shirt over his head and tugged on some jeans.

I shrugged. “Sure I do. Someone’s blackmailing you. You threatened to kick them out of Hollywood which sounded super cheesey, FYI, and you’re back on your pills, all because you technically didn’t do something.”

Alec swallowed and looked away. “Right.”

“Dude.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Since when is two million dollars and enough antidepressants to kill an elephant not a big deal?”

“Since I said it isn’t,” he snapped.

I tried a different tactic. I walked over to him and put my arm around his shoulder, bro-love style. “How can I help?”

Alec laughed sadly. “What? You Superman now?”

“I was thinking Spiderman, but Superman does have x-ray vision…” I smirked and thought of Alyssa. Down boy.

“You can’t fix this, Demetri.” Alec’s voice caught as he said my name and looked down at his shaking hands. “Nobody can.”

“Not even you?”

He swallowed slowly before lifting his gaze to meet mine. “Not even God.”

“Oh.”

“Right.” He snorted. “So, thanks, but no thanks. I’ll burn in Hell by myself. I’d die before I took my little brother with me. I’ve already done enough to you.”

“And what about Nat?”

Wordless, he got up from the bed and cursed. “Angels don’t belong with demons.”

Well, so much for the movie quote game, I could have rocked him on that one. Instead the rage-aholic slammed his hand against the door and cursed.

“It’s too late anyway.”

“But—”

Alec held up his hand. “I’ll figure it out. I always do, right?” There was that damn forced smile again. I couldn’t fix it. I could only nod my head and hope to God that he wasn’t going further into the rabbit hole. I knew depression. I knew drugs. I knew anxiety, and I knew that look on his face. Shit, I knew it as well as I knew my own name.

Unless you had help, there was no happy ending.

Chapter Four

Alec

I needed to get away from Demetri and his constant chipper attitude. It wasn’t making me feel any better, or any less guilty about the conversation I’d just had.

What type of person did that make me? If I was willing to screw the world and protect my own ass. What if by protecting myself I was protecting Nat? What if by protecting myself, paying people off, and ignoring all the shit, I was protecting Demetri? I couldn’t do that to him again. Seriously? What the hell was wrong with me? There’s no way I could have known, but still.

I felt a headache coming on.

I grabbed the keys out of my pocket and ran down the stairs to meet Nat. She was sitting by Angelica on the counter. I winked and held out my hand. “You ready?”

She frowned. “You okay?”

“Of course!” I nearly yelled. My voice cracked. Great. I was officially the worst actor on the planet. “Hey…” I pulled her into my arms and kissed her forehead. “Don’t frown, you’ll get wrinkles.”

“Not helping.” She laughed and immediately the tension and guilt dissipated. Her. I needed her. As long as I had Nat, as long as she never found out what a grade A a**hole I was. We’d be okay. Visions of losing myself in her, of making her scream out in pleasure filled my head. She was my drug. She numbed the pain, as sick as it was to admit.

“Date time?” She squealed as I smacked the side of her butt and helped her off the counter.

Angelica was completely ignoring us and staring at her phone, texting. I heard a snort come from her direction and then a sniffle. Oh great, what now? She break a nail? She have someone else’s life to ruin?

“Oh my gosh. What’s wrong?” Nat let go of my hand and rushed to her side. Dear sweet Nat. She couldn’t help but love the broken. I, on the other hand, wanted to smack the Wicked Witch of the West so hard she fell off her chair.

“Coke has a way of doing that to a person.” I pointed to her nose and smirked. “Attractive.”

“You would know!” Angelica fired back.

Nat held up her hands between us. “Is it really that hard to get along?”

“Yes,” we said in unison, each of us glaring for a different reason. Both of us were angry about past drama that neither of us wanted to dig up. Correction, I didn’t want to dig it up. I’m sure she’d be more than thrilled to grab a shovel and have a go at it. Then again, if she had a shovel she’d be on the opposite end of it, in a grave. Wow, were things so bad that I was thinking homicide?

Nat sighed and turned to Angelica. “Are you going to be okay?”

For once I noticed Angelica’s eyes flicker with regret and hurt. Damn, the girl was a good actress. She deserved an Oscar for that performance. “It’s just…” She sniffled again and then grabbed Nat’s hand, gripping it in hers. “Jaymeson and I are fighting again, and I really love him. I mean, I’ve never been with anyone so strong, so virile. He’s an amazing kisser, and that accent!” She fanned herself, all fake tears gone. “But he’s pissed at me again.”

And she wondered why? Seriously?

Nat tilted her head to the side. “It’ll work out, you’ll see. I mean, we all go through fights in relationships, right?”

Angelica suddenly straightened up and grinned in my direction. “Of course we do. I’m sure you and Alec have had your fair share of fights over his popularity. It’s only natural to feel insecure, right?”

“—Um, right,” Nat interjected. “And we’re doing great!” Nat squeezed my hand and patted Angelica with her free hand. “It will be okay. Just talk to him.”

“Good talk.” Angelica got up from her seat and sauntered away. “And thanks Nat, you’re right. I’ll just talk to him.”

I glared lasers into her disappearing form and prayed for the hundredth time in the past few weeks that a meteor would hit in Seaside, Oregon — in her room preferably.

“Hmm. Weird.” Nat shrugged. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” I swallowed the returning guilt and squeezed her hand.

****

Seaside was the type of town that a person couldn’t help but fall in love with. I know Demetri hated it. But it was seriously one of the only places I could go to and think. Our place in Malibu was still too close to Hollywood. Seaside was… well, it was in Oregon for one thing. They had more taffy than people — at least that’s what it seemed like. And during the summer months it was beautiful.

I exhaled in relief as we walked outside and jumped in the SUV. Just me and Nat. I couldn’t wait until it really was just us. I reached across the console and kissed her hand. “I love you.”

She bit her lip. Damn, the girl had luscious lips. “I love you too.” She leaned over and kissed me hard on the mouth. Finally.

With a little tug I had her across the middle of the SUV and in my lap. Making out in the driveway. Awesome. It was like I was fifteen again. You know, minus the drugs and alcohol and fame and… okay, it was nothing like when I was fifteen. It was better.

“You taste so good.” I licked her lower lip and moved my hands down her sides. The warmth of her skin seared me until I almost had to pull back. Nat moaned when my hands moved to her hips. I jerked her against me, needing her to be closer than she already was.

“You sure about that date?” she asked, breathless.

“Not really.” I kissed her neck and moved my hands toward her bra. “Maybe we should just—”

“Whores. Both of you,” came an irritating voice that sounded suspiciously like Demetri. Which it couldn’t be, because I distinctly remembered saying goodbye to him in my room and him telling me he and Alyssa were going to hang out. Alone.

Why had I kept my window rolled down?

“What do you want?” I snapped, pulling away from Nat. At least she was just as comfortable with Demetri as she was with me, any other girl would have been mortified. Nat just groaned in sexual frustration. I hear ya, girl. Loud and clear.

“Sorry to interrupt your pow-wow.” Demetri held up his hands and smirked. Sorry my ass… “But Ruben just said that we’re supposed to make an appearance at a new restaurant in Canon Beach.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be our day off?” I groaned and briefly contemplated shooting my brother or just driving my car into the ocean. It had been way too long. Way too long. My body was going to explode. I just kept telling myself that if it were just me and Nat, everything else would fade. It would cease to be my reality.

“Yes, but apparently this was already part of the schedule, Ruben just forgot to put it in the call sheet. Or so he says. We gotta be there tonight.” Demetri popped a piece of taffy in his mouth and grinned. “You guys can go whore around for a few hours, just don’t be late.”

“Okay.” I didn’t move. Neither did Nat.

Demetri watched. “So you better, like, get going, so you can do that date.”

“Right.” I licked my lips. Nat shifted on my lap causing my vision to cloud for a brief second.

“Start the car, dude.” Demetri laughed. “Then put it into drive. Go somewhere private. Make out… and don’t get my favorite future sister-in-law prego. Yeah?”

It was like having ice water thrown on me. I nodded jerkily and started the car. Nat moved away from my lap. I gave Demetri a shaky smile — something I didn’t do often. Smile like an idiot.

His eyes narrowed and then I saw a muscle flex in his jaw. Damn. Now he knew I was lying to him too. I quickly looked away and put the car in drive. “See you later, man.”

“Yeah.” Demetri didn’t make eye contact. “Later.”

****

“Alec?” Nat put her hand on mine.

“Hmm?” I turned down the music and glanced at her.

“You’ve been driving for the past fifteen minutes. I mean it’s cool if you want to leave Seaside, it’s just… I don’t know. You’ve been really quiet and now we’re on the highway, and I have no idea where you’re going.”