He sighed heavily. “Do it again, man. Do it if it makes you feel better.” And then my irresponsible younger brother lowered his hands and gave me the perfect opportunity to beat the shit out of him. Hell, he even turned to the left which he always claimed was his money-making side.

I was an ass.

I fell to the ground next to him amidst the cameras and whispers and fought for control over my emotions. Everything felt so out-of-control, and it was in moments like these that I realized I was toeing the edge of self destruction. I was one bad choice away from prison or hurting someone I loved.

“So.” Demetri rubbed his face as blood trickled down his cheek. “About that talk.”

I bit my lip and nodded. “Yeah, about that.”

Demetri was silent and then. “Let’s go see the seals.”

We helped each other up and walked toward the Seaside Aquarium. Ever since Demetri and Alyssa started dating, they made it a regular Saturday pilgrimage. Something about her reminding him of a seal, which I always assumed a girl would take as a fat joke, but she loved it and he loved her, so they went.

Demetri also knew the owners so it was easy for him to get them to shut it down while he and Alyssa visited, especially considering how crazy the paparazzi had gotten.

I tried to look happy as I walked along the boardwalk. People openly gaped, and for the first time in my life it made me feel uncomfortable, vulnerable. As if bits and pieces of my soul were getting stolen away from me with every snap of a picture.

We arrived at the aquarium and went in, closing the door behind us. Demetri motioned to the guy at the desk. He nodded once and put the Will Return sign on the door.

“Fish.” Demetri handed me a bucket full of fish. I took it and began throwing them mindlessly into the water. The seals splashed and fought over the fish. Greedy little bastards wanted more, so I kept throwing them, getting lost in my own thoughts as I watched them happily swim around.

Damn. I was officially jealous of the seals. At least they didn’t have to worry about anything except clapping and looking badass while people fed them.

I guess that sounded a lot like a retirement home or preschool. Hell, things were so much easier when I was a kid.

“So…” Demetri took the bucket from my hands and refilled it. “You want to go first or do you want me to?”

I snorted. “It’s like you’ve gotten a brain transplant or something.”

“Come again?”

Shaking my head I turned to him. “You’re like my damn conscience, the voice of reason, the sane one. When the hell did that happen?”

“To be fair, you did tell me to grow a pair last time I got into trouble. I believe your words were, Grow up, be a man… you know, something along those lines.”

“Karma,” I mumbled.

“Isn’t it great?” Demetri grinned.

I didn’t return his smile. “Not the words I would choose. But, for what it’s worth, I am proud of you.” I felt my throat close with emotion. I looked away and concentrated on the seals as they splashed around.

“I’ll go first,” Demetri said quietly, leaning his arms against the watery cement cage. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” Had I been leaning any further on the cage I would have fallen in from shock. “What the hell do you have to be sorry for?”

Demetri shrugged. “Taking so damn long to get over my shit.”

“You were just a kid… it’s not your fault…”

“And you’re not a kid? Damn, Alec, you turn twenty-one this year. You’re still a spring chicken, man.”

“Because that’s what every guy wants to be compared to.” I bit down hard on my lip. “And it’s not your fault. If anything, it’s mine. In trying to protect you, in being selfish, I’ve lost everything, you, Nat… our careers.”

Demetri moved closer to me and concentrated on the wall in front of us where it said: “Please do not touch the seals.”

“I want to tell you,” I said breaking the silence. “But I’m afraid to. I’m afraid you’ll never forgive me.”

Demetri laughed low in his throat shaking his head. “Did you sleep with my girlfriend again?”

“No.”

“Get her hooked on drugs again?”

“That would be a no.”

“Any future plans to do so?”

“That would be a hell, no.”

“So history isn’t repeating itself.” Demetri smirked. “And whatever happens from here on out, we can handle together. You didn’t abandon me. I won’t abandon you.”

“Do you really mean that?” I felt my eyes well with tears as I tried to keep my voice even.

“Absolutely.”

“I—” I pushed away from the cement cage and began pacing. “I screwed up.”

“With Nat?”

“With you,” I clarified. “I screwed up with you.”

“But you just said—”

“Before the fame, before everything… when dad died… He made me promise, and I did promise him, but then I just felt jealous. Why is it that I’m such a selfish bastard that I’m jealous of everything? I’m jealous of the damn seals right now!” I pointed at the seals splashing around and kicked the cement wall.

Demetri laughed. “Well, they are badass.”

I shook my head, if I didn’t say it now I never would. “You’re adopted.”

The room fell silent. Demetri’s smile froze on his face and then he looked down at his hands.

Someone kill me now. It felt like ten years. I watched a series of emotions play across his face, not one of them appeared to be shock.

“I know.”

“WHAT?” I yelled.

Demetri shrugged. “I was there.”

“You were a baby. There’s no way you would remember, man.”

“Not that, you ass.” Demetri rolled his eyes. “I remember dad telling you something important. I remember feeling like I wasn’t the same as you but I never could figure out why. And then I heard that word. Adopted.” Demetri folded his arms across his chest. “Granted, nobody’s ever actually told me. But I assumed it to be true. I mean, look at me.”

He pointed to his body and then pointed to mine. “We’re pretty different.”

“Not that different,” I said fiercely. “You’re still my brother.”

“Calm down.” Demetri laughed. “I know that. You think it would be that easy getting rid of me?”

“Well…” I cursed. “That’s not all.”

“I figured it wasn’t. There’s a conspiracy theory out there about us not being blood-related anyways. In fact, the Twitter profile has like five hundred thousand followers.”

“Good to know.” I smirked.

“So?” Demetri shrugged. “What else? Lay it on me.”

“You’re Jaymeson’s step-brother.”

Demetri’s face fell. I looked away. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. I just kept my head down in hopes that the seal would hop out of its cage and maul me.

Finally after a few minutes of utter silence, I looked up just in time to see Demetri’s fist flying toward my face.

Chapter Thirty

Demetri

A crack sounded the minute my knuckles met his jaw. He deserved that and more. Though I didn’t have the whole story — it sucked he would keep that little tidbit away from me.

It meant I technically still had family.

And he didn’t.

Which proved his point earlier, he was a jealous bastard, and he deserved a hell of a punch for withholding that shit.

Alec fell to the ground and groaned. “I’d feel so much better if you’d just shoot me right now.”

“Too kind,” I muttered. “Get up.”

“Shit.” Alec stumbled to his feet and wiped the blood from his lip.

“Tell me everything. Now.”

****

I left the aquarium an hour later feeling like someone had just shot my favorite dog and then brought it back to life only to shoot it again in front of me.

April Cartwright? Jaymeson’s step-mom? My real mom? The real uncomfortable part was the whole escapade with the pictures of Alec and her together.

Though, I knew Alec would never intentionally hurt me, and he sure as hell wasn’t into cougars — something didn’t add up. He said April was popping pills the minute he stumbled out of the room feeling like he’d just been drugged beyond reason.

My mind went back to what Jaymeson had said about April. She’d been drunk but was spouting off nonsense about being drugged as well, which then just pissed me off more. I mean, did that mean April was expecting my brother to take the fall for her poor choices? Ridiculous.

He also explained about last night. Which meant she was either bat-shit crazy, or setting him up on purpose. I knew Alec was telling the truth.

And I believed him. It was just unfortunate that the media probably wouldn’t. I mean, it wasn’t like we had the squeakiest of clean reputations. But… one thing I did know… I was going to stand by him and help him get answers.

Even if it meant pushing April out of my life for good. Because what woman would willingly give up her child and then never tell him why? Why would she surround herself with the same people I did — why would she keep it from Jaymeson?

Ugh. My life was a soap opera. The only thing that made sense was April’s relationship with my adopted parents.

It all boiled down to one thing.

I got my selfishness from one person, and I was sure as hell going to make her regret the day she chose herself over me. It sucked, because for a brief moment I had hope. I had hope that I could dream about a mom that still cared for me, that still wanted me in her life, but she’d been given the chance over and over again and never taken it. Why? I wasn’t that bad of an embarrassment was I?

Sighing, I shoved my hands into my pockets and walked into the Beach House. I’d slipped away earlier to talk to Alec. No doubt Ruben would be pissed that I was gone for so long without any cameras or production crew. I told Jaymeson to whore around a bit so that they’d be too distracted with his drama to notice me missing.

I heard yelling as I walked into the house.

And apparently Jaymeson was a genius.

“You can’t just sleep with two girls in my bedroom, Jaymeson!” Angelica’s screech was so loud my ears were ringing. “What the hell is wrong with you? We’re supposed to be dating!”

I walked into the living room to see Jaymeson shirtless, two girls huddled in the corner of the room looking like they just stepped out of Cosmo, and Angelica red in the face. Was that a chunk of hair in her hand?

“We’re over.” Jaymeson said it so calmly and so silent I almost didn’t hear him.

“We are over when I say we’re over!” Angelica stomped her foot and lunged for Jaymeson.

I would be a terrible step-brother if I didn’t do anything. I stepped in front of him, blocking her from either castrating him or cutting off his head with one of her razor-sharp nails.