“A turtle?” I repeated. All eyes turned to Demetri.

My brother’s eyes hooded with desire. “You can ride my shell anytime, you—”

“Children!” Jaymeson yelled from the bonfire. “If you’re all done getting in each other’s pants, we’ve got some fake filming to do for the future leaders of America!”

“Truer words have never been said.” Nat nodded solemnly.

“What we do, we do for our country,” I agreed as I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. “Later though?”

She winked. “Oh, I promise.”

I still couldn’t figure out how I’d gotten so lucky. A year ago, when Nat was dating my brother, I’d done everything in my power to stay away from her, but I couldn’t. I was in love with her even before she introduced herself and taunted me by threatening to tattoo my name on her ass. Figures. She was the only girl in the known universe who still hadn’t asked for my autograph.

Granted, now we were dating and the whole fame thing had kind of worn off. But still, you’d think she’d at least want my signature. But that was Nat. She made even the most prideful man feel humble. Exhibit A: Demetri.

I swung her hand in mine as we made our way over to our fake bonding bonfire. The record company for my brother’s and my group, AD2, decided that Seaside would be the perfect backdrop for a quick reality show about our private lives. Considering everything went to hell last year when Demetri nearly killed himself and then decided to fall for a local girl just like I did — our publicist was basically salivating. Apparently every girl in America now thought that if they went to Seaside, Oregon, they’d be discovered by some rock star and swept away to Hollywood.

So, now we were basically feeding that lie in the best way possible. Bringing Hollywood to the sleepy town of Seaside, Oregon in hopes to help boost our record sales when our new single dropped in a few weeks.

The best part of the whole reality show was that after only a few days we were so boring, our producer almost cut the whole project.

Demetri didn’t drink anymore, you know, after that whole rehab thing. Neither of us would go within forty miles of any sort of drug, including cough syrup, and we nicknamed Saturdays lazy-whore-day, meaning none of us did anything except sit around and watch old movies with junk food.

It took exactly four days into shooting for the producers to come up with a new idea. In fact, Ruben, the main producer, sat me down and told me straight up that I bored him to tears.

I laughed in his face.

“Can’t you do something exciting?” he pleaded. “Wreck a car? Get in a fight?”

I sighed. If he only knew how bad my past really was, or my giant secret… yeah, he’d probably sell off his own grandma in order to get that story.

Shrugging, I placed my hand on his shoulder and shrugged. “Maybe we just aren’t star material?”

“Right.” He snorted. “And I’m a horny sixteen year old.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“Alec.”

“Ruben.”

Cursing, he ran his hands through his hair. “Fine, I’m going to script you guys.”

“I don’t act.”

“You do now. Plus, all you have to do is make nice with your girlfriend, be in love, do a few activities. Trust me. It will be like a vacation.”

Two hospital trips later and I’m pretty sure vacation was the wrong word to use.

The first week Demetri almost lost an eyebrow. It was camping week. He said he used to be a Boy Scout. Clearly, he had lied.

The second week Alyssa, Nat, and Angelica were teamed against the guys in a rowing competition. Nat still says it wasn’t her fault that Angelica fell out of the boat and ended up getting stung by a jellyfish.

Demetri offered to pee on her. Though, he said something along the lines of, “I’ve been wanting to piss on you for a really long time.”

So basically we were TV gold. This was the end of the boys versus girls week, so we were celebrating with a bonfire. More like the producers were trying to show everyone how well we got along. Right.

I took in the scene around us. Waves crashed across the sand. Jaymeson sat next to Angelica and gave me a look that said, “She would eat her own young.” I shook my head in warning as Jaymeson made gestures of a beheading behind her chair.

The woman was crazy. The only reason she was on the show was because Jaymeson had made the life-altering mistake of taking her out on a few dates. Apparently, she wasn’t as bad as everyone claimed. I didn’t get how that was possible. Then again I knew things that no one else did. As did she. Agh, the soap opera of my life.

Demetri plopped down next to me and grinned in Angelica’s direction. She waved back with a smirk and then gave him the finger. I wondered if they’d edit that out later and make her look like a saint?

“Charming,” I said dryly.

“That woman is the devil.”

“The devil has nothing on Angelica Greene.” I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

“Tell me about it.” Demetri picked up a stick and threw it in her direction. “Go get it, girl! Go get it! That’s a good girl.”

“It’s like you want her to stab you in your sleep.”

Demetri cursed. “Whatever, man. I could freaking call her out on national television wearing nothing but a tiara and a smile, and she’d still hate you more than me. Why do you think that is anyways?”

I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and cleared my throat a few times. “Yeah, well, I’m not very likeable.” My heart slammed against my chest, Guilty, guilty, guilty. I winced.

“Tell that to them.” Demetri pointed to the part of the beach that was sectioned off for our safety while filming. Several girls stood on the other side of the barrier with signs that were anything but appropriate for TV.

A camera was thrust in my face as I scowled in Angelica’s direction again and rolled my eyes.

Nat hopped onto my lap and kissed my neck. I watched as Angelica’s face tightened into a murderous rage. She pushed up from her chair and began stomping toward us just as a Frisbee sailed by her face. She cursed and fell onto Jaymeson’s lap, poor guy. I looked up to see Demetri smirking in my direction. I joined in laughter while Angelica, former child star, whined at Jaymeson and gave him bedroom eyes.

I pitied the guy. He rose from his seat and helped her to her feet, but not before she smacked a giant kiss on his cheek and pinched his butt. Jaymeson grinned and winked in my direction. Angelica’s eyes locked on mine as she caressed Jaymeson’s backside.

I knew that look. I shivered and looked away.

Nat began massaging my shoulders from the front sitting position she was in. I closed my eyes and leaned into her.

“You seem upset,” she murmured against my neck, wrapping her arms around my body.

I shrugged.

“Don’t.” She tilted my chin toward her and pointed her finger in my face. “Don’t be an ass and close me out.”

I smirked.

“And don’t smirk. It makes you look too attractive and I’m scolding you right now.” She huffed, though her eyes darted to my lips a few times before she finally held her head high and looked away.

“Sorry?” I offered.

“Was that a question or an apology?”

Laughing, I lifted her into the air and threw her over my shoulder. “Apology!”

“Alec!” She punched my back and her legs kicked in the air. “Put me down!”

“Nope!” I chuckled. “Hey, everyone, Nat wants to go swimming!”

“But you’re supposed to be doing a bonfire!” Ruben was yelling and holding up marshmallows and sticks. I snorted. I had a few ideas where he could stick both of those objects but I restrained myself, just barely, and threw up my one spare hand while Nat struggled in my arms.

“Ain’t reality TV if it isn’t real!” I raced toward the ocean with a squealing Nat in my arms.

“Alec! Seriously! Put me down! The ocean is freezing!” Nat wiggled against me. I really should have thought twice about the whole ocean idea, considering my lack of restraint at the moment.

I purposefully set her down, slowly allowing her body to slide over mine, loving how her eyes darkened as she swayed in front of me. “You were saying, sweetheart?”

“Cheater.” Her eyes narrowed.

My stomach plummeted to the ground. It felt like I had stopped breathing all together, but I knew I still was because I hadn’t passed out yet. “Come on.” I shook myself out of my dark thoughts and nodded toward the ocean. “Take a swim with me.”

“Make me.” She glared.

“You know I’ll win, Nat. Come on… be spontaneous… take your clothes off.” I laughed as she swatted me and took off her shirt revealing a white bikini top.

“Mm, that’s more like it.” I peeled my shirt off and crooked my finger at her. Nat’s eyes were focused on my abs. Her eyes devoured me until I was almost embarrassed that there were cameras around. What I wouldn’t do for a few seconds alone with the girl.

I wish I could say we’d been spending the last few weeks in coupled bliss, but with so many cameras around it had been hard to even get the girl alone long enough to kiss her. Which of course made me a desperate starving man — it was like they were torturing me on purpose so I really would do something crazy and freak out.

Well… it was working.

“Lost your nerve, hmm?” Nat taunted.

“No.” I reached out and cupped her chin. “Just taking in the view.”

I pulled her against me and kissed her, just as Demetri ran by me, flipped us off, and jumped into the ocean. Soon followed by a giggling Alyssa and Jaymeson.

Angelica stayed by the bonfire with her arms crossed. Pissed. Figured. The last time I’d seen that girl smile was when… I stopped my thoughts and nearly choked on my tongue as Nat crooked her finger in my direction.

Nat tugged me into the ocean, and we all splashed one another and laughed. If I could have just stayed in that moment forever, with my brother, his adorable girlfriend, and the love of my life…

I’d be content.

That’s what’s so damn confusing about life. Things are never as they seem, especially when your first name is Alec and your last name is Daniels.

I swallowed the building anxiety and told myself no amount of drugs or alcohol would rid me of the guilt I felt. Nope. Only death. And if I was going to burn in Hell, I was going to take the evil witch responsible for everything with me.

Chapter Two

Alec

Later, watching Nat play in the ocean brought me back to that moment. The first time I saw her. My world had tilted on its axis — and to this day, it has yet to return to normal.

I was always cautious with our relationship — fearful that I would scare the shit out of her with my lifestyle, my past, basically everything that made me the guy that I was. I should have realized she would take it like a champ. Not every girl can deal with the baggage I brought to our relationship — or continue to bring, for that matter.

Nat laughed and splashed Demetri before diving under the water again. I took a long slow sip of water and sat on the hot sand. She threw her head back and laughed, exposing her neck and making my heart lurch in my chest. I loved that neck. I swear, every time that girl looked vulnerable I couldn’t help but think of a few months ago.