I could feel the tension in the house. Partly because of me and Connor. Partly because Lulu and I weren’t here by choice but by necessity—because I had enemies outside. The AAM. The person who’d killed Blake. And the person who believed we were “friends.”

It would make even the strongest vampire uneasy. But being here was most unfair to Lulu. This wasn’t the life she’d signed up for, and I needed to get her home.

I needed to get the AAM off my back. I needed leverage, something that would force them to consider things differently and to withdraw their ultimatums.

But dawn stretched its grasping fingers above the horizon, and I had no better ideas.

ELEVEN

When the sun fell again, I wanted to get out of this house. The pain in my shoulder was gone, and I wanted action. And if I was being honest, wanted control. But I didn’t actually have anywhere to go. I wasn’t setting foot in a vampire House, my own house was off-limits, and I’d been fired from the OMB. What were my other options? Hanging out at a coffeehouse all day? Playing water girl while Lulu worked? Volunteering for the Pack?

Zero chance. If I wanted to be bossed around by animals, I’d go hang out with Eleanor of Aquitaine.

I found a message from Carlie checking in, and my heart melted a little more. vampire mom, she said. everything ok with the aam? we aren’t hearing much and we’re worried.

it’s a mess, I admitted. I wanted to shield her from pain, but shielding her from the truth wouldn’t do that. At least the AAM wasn’t pestering her, blaming her for what I’d done.

connor and lulu have my back, I assured her. Or she did, anyway. God knew where he and I stood.

so do we, she said, and I could all but hear the earnestness.

I closed my eyes, grateful I’d had the opportunity to save her. And newly furious that the AAM—or at least Clive’s part of it—didn’t think that was worthwhile.

that means a lot to me. stay careful, and stay safe.

My luck must have turned, because I got a message from Theo: it would be reasonable for a certain civilian vamp to find her way to omb to request assistance from said ombuds and obtain an update. we aim to serve.

“A certain civilian,” I murmured with a grin, feeling hugely relieved by both the contact from Theo and by the invitation. They weren’t shutting me out, at least not now. That mattered to me. Might not matter to Connor, but that was . . . Well. I’d deal with that later.

Maybe I’d pick up coffee and doughnuts en route to the office. Not as an apology—I had nothing to apologize for—but just to smooth the way.

Since the weather had cooled and today was for action, I pulled my hair into a knot and paired today’s tank with leggings and knee-high boots. The house was silent, so I went downstairs, checked the kitchen for something to drink. Found a copper canister labeled coffee, but it was empty. I heard footsteps behind me and, given the lack of greeting, assumed it was Lulu or Alexei. “Do you know where he keeps the coffee?”

“He doesn’t have any coffee.”

I froze, every muscle tense, and then looked back.

Connor stood in the doorway in running shorts and nothing else, his body slicked with sweat. He’d probably gone for a run, and apparently without much clothing.

He walked to the fridge, took out a bottle of water, drank deeply, his eyes on me over the rim, and I couldn’t look away. There was something nearly palpable in the power that radiated around him. His body exceptional, from strong arms, muscular back, flat abdomen, to his smooth and muscled flank inscribed with a tattoo in elegant black capitals: Non ducor, duco. I’m not led; I lead.

The idea of it—the arrogance in it—flipped desire into anger again.

When he’d taken his fill, he put the bottle down, lifted an eyebrow. Expecting—no, demanding—that I make the first move. Concede the first thin sliver of ground.

Instead, I ignored it. “I’m on my way out.”

“You’re sneaking out.”

I lifted my brows at him. “I don’t need to sneak, as I’m not a prisoner here.”

He met my gaze with a stony stare of his own, but didn’t respond.

Even the monster was irritated, my muscles quivering as if it was stomping around inside. “I’m going to the OMB. I want to find out what they’ve learned about the notes, and Theo invited me to come by.”

“Do that,” he said. “I’ll be at the NAC building, because the AAM has taken up its position again to irritate my people.” There was an edge in his voice. I wasn’t the only one angry.

“They’re still there?”

“They left before dawn, returned. There was a very good fight inside the bar last night, so the Pack felt no need to start one outside with, and I’m quoting Eli here, ‘chalky vampires.’”

“I’ll deal with it,” I said, heading toward the door. I wasn’t sure what I’d do, but harassing the Pack was unacceptable.

Connor gripped my arm as I walked past. “I’ll take care of it. They think they can intimidate me or the Pack, they need to be corrected. It’s important that we, the Pack, send that particular signal. Maybe it’s important that I do it.”

I looked down at the fingers around my arm. “Are you looking for a fight here or there?”

“You tell me,” he said, eyes glittering.

I wanted to push his fingers off my arm, to rail at him for pushing me away. Even the monster was excited about the possibility. But I knew my anger—our anger—was just a symptom. So I took a breath, and opted for honesty.

“Did you not trust me enough to tell me you were moving?”

He stared at me with wide eyes, and I watched his anger drain into what looked like bafflement, then mortification. “Jesus, Lis. No. No.” But he crossed to the sink, braced his hands against it. Then he ran a hand through his hair, and I worked not to be distracted by the clench and release of muscle.

“After Minnesota,” he said, “and all the shit we went through, I considered taking a leave of absence. A sabbatical. I needed a break from the Pack.”

My brows lifted. “You did?”

He looked back. “Yeah. I thought about going to the desert. Live in the heat. Spend time in silence on the bike under an empty sky.”

“So, like most of your teenage years?” He’d frequently disappear for a few months at a time. Apparently most shifters did the same before taking on the obligations of adulthood.

He smiled a little. “Only two of them. I wanted all that because I was sick of the politics and the backstabbing. And you know what made me stay?”

I shook my head, even while my pulse quickened.

“You, Lis. You wouldn’t be happy out there, and it would have felt empty—and not the good kind of empty—without you.” He looked up. “So I decided to try a different way. A place where the Pack wouldn’t always be . . . underfoot. A place of my own.”

Having grown up in Cadogan House with nearly a hundred vampires, I understood that.

“There are two kinds of shifters,” he said. “Those like my parents, who live and breathe the Pack. And those like the Breckenridges, who barely acknowledge its existence. They prefer to live like humans. Alexei and I—I think we’re trying to find a different way. A different kind of balance. Because we want different lives. I have lived a very privileged life so far—privileged in that my parents let me be myself, let me get away with more than they should have, and helped clean up the mess. And the money.”

“I guess so,” I said, and felt my lips curve.

“So I didn’t have to do much planning. Someday I’d fight for Apex, but that was far off, and I figured by then I’d know what to do. Most people think of the Apex as the ruler. The person in charge. While there’s some truth to that, it’s not the entire truth. The Apex is the voice. Strong, of course. Physically capable. But also able to speak for the collective based on what they want, and what they need.”

“What if they don’t know what they want or need?”

“Then it’s the Apex’s job to help figure that out, for the good of the people involved.” He walked to me, put a finger beneath my chin, lifted it. “What do you want, Elisa Sullivan?”

“To learn who I am.”

The words were out before I’d given conscious thought to the answer. So I knew they were the truth. My soul’s truth.

“And the AAM would take that away, because they would tell you who you have to be.”

“Yeah.”

He cleared his throat. “I didn’t tell you about this place because I thought you’d tell me to stay at home, with the Pack.”

“I— What?”

He actually looked . . . bashful. Knitted brows, lopsided half smile. “It wasn’t just important that I get some space from my family. I wanted to make some space for us. To give us a chance. And I figured if I told you what I was doing before I did it, you’d tell me not to uproot my life for you.”

I just stared at him. “I . . . probably would have said that exactly.”

His smile was brilliant. “I know you, Elisa Marie.”

“My middle name isn’t Marie.”

“I know that, too.” He grinned, lifted a shoulder. “But it sounds right.” He moved toward me, took my hand, and squeezed. “It’s early. For us, I mean. But I like the way this feels.” He put my hand against his chest, above his heart. It pounded beneath my palm, strong and steady.

“I do, too,” I said with a grin. And if the monster had had toes, they’d have curled at the invitation in his eyes. “I’m glad you finally came to your senses about me.”

His laugh was full and hearty, and I loved the feel of it beneath my fingers. “The delay was all you, brat. You had to mellow the type A.”

“Oh, it hasn’t mellowed. You just matured.”

“Maybe we both changed.”

“Maybe we did.”