“What’s wrong?” I asked. “They in trouble for skipping?”

Her narrowed eyes met mine briefly. “I doubt it. Kirk never gets in trouble for skipping. He never did. Nick’s mom will probably get a call, but she doesn’t really care. If he says it’s because one of the guys had a hard day, she’ll be okay with that. And Ryan . . .” Her bottom lip stuck out farther, and she trailed off.

Aha. I got it. She was worried about Ryan.

“I thought you were okay with me and Ryan?”

Her eyes jerked back to mine, widening slightly. “What?”

“You’re concerned about him.”

“No.” She tugged at her shirtsleeve and then smoothed the ends of her shirt over her pants. “I mean, he skipped the first day because of you, and now he skipped because of Kirk. He went downhill the other year because of him.”

“His friend died.”

“I know, but . . .” She stopped talking, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip.

She didn’t get it. It didn’t make sense to her how grief could be overwhelming. It made more sense to blame Kirk’s influence than Ryan losing a friend.

Fuck. What did she think my problem was?

“It must be nice,” I murmured, resting my head back against the chair.

Her eyes flickered. “What?”

“Not to have lost anyone.”

Her head lowered. “My hamster died when I was twelve.”

Pets could be family members too, but I didn’t assume hers was. She didn’t sound too broken up over it.

Real and genuine jealousy slammed through me. It hit my chest, my heart, my stomach, every single cell in my body—all the way from my toes to my hair. I wanted her life. I wanted it so badly I was almost crying.

I would’ve given up Ryan to have what she had.

“Everyone knows the four of you cut today.”

I was still envisioning life without that pain, so it took a second for those words to register.

It was my turn to frown. “So?”

“So.” She reached up to tighten her ponytail. “Everyone knows you guys skipped.”

I wasn’t following her. “Is that a problem? Or what? I’m not getting what you’re saying.”

“No.” She went back to chewing her bottom lip before shrugging. “Stephanie Witts knows. All the girls, and guys. They wanted me to call them when I found out where everyone was.”

Oh. Shit.

“Tell me you didn’t call. Right?” I leaned forward, pulling my legs in and tucking the towels under my arms. “You didn’t call those girls.”

She didn’t answer, and I could see she was chewing the inside of her cheek.

Fuck! She did. I groaned, letting my head fall forward to smack my palm. “How long until they all descend?”

She jerked up a shoulder, sitting silent.

“Hey!” I waved my hand in the air. She was staring at the guys and barely answering me. “When did you call them?”

“Oh.” She glanced at her phone. “Like ten minutes ago.”

More voices came from around the side of the house. Tom rounded the corner of the house first and the rest of the guys followed. I saw Peach and Erin with them. There were more shadows behind her, and as Tom reached over a fence and opened the door, they filtered in. Erin’s friends had come with her.

The line didn’t end.

I recognized some guys from my grade coming in.

Cora muttered almost to herself, “Those are the basketball players. The football team isn’t here. They had practice.” She watched as Nick pounded a few of the guys on the arm. “Nick’s going to get in trouble for missing today.”

More people came in, flooding the entire backyard.

I stopped watching, but I heard what she said.

His coach would get upset, but not his parents.

Erin called Cora’s name, and I jumped up from the lounge chair.

“Where are you going?” she asked.

I didn’t answer. As Erin headed over, I zipped back into the pool shed and locked the door behind me.

I couldn’t do this. Not all these people.

My insides felt pulled apart and put together wrong. Nothing felt right anymore. I couldn’t sit on a lounge chair with Cora, hearing whatever Erin had to say—whether she was going to take digs at me or kiss my ass. She’d resorted to the latter over the last few weeks, and I didn’t get it. Whether she wanted to be friends or not, it wasn’t happening.

My only real friend was Ryan.

And that’s the problem.

God, not now! I snapped at my ghost.

Willow rolled her eyes. You haven’t made it right with Zoe and Gianna at home, and you aren’t making friends here. I get that Cora’s a little weird, but Mac, you’re fast becoming weirder. You’re almost a leech on Ryan.

Shut up. I paused a beat. And Zoe and Gianna, that’s on them. They wanted me gone, not the other way around.

She snorted. So yell at them. Curse them out. Get mad. Don’t just disappear. I mean, I know. She changed the subject. I get it, Mac. A part of you wants to go grab your boy and pull him away from his friends, but you can’t. Let the guy have a fun day for once. Don’t make yourself his problem. If you’re together or not, it isn’t going to last if you keep going on like this.