Ryan held back till they were gone. Without saying a word, he took my hand. He threaded our fingers together as we headed after them, and I tried to ignore the little flutter in my chest.

Red Solo cup in hand, rap music blaring, slight buzz started—I was there. And we’d been embraced as if none of us were losers. Hell yeah. We’d turned down a high school party to be at a college one.

I was damn right succeeding in life.

Willow would’ve been fucking green with jealousy.

A mean streak raced through my insides, causing my stomach to twist around. I raised my cup, looking at the sky from where I stood in some college dumbass’ backyard.

You up there, Wills? Or are you right next to me?

I hated her. She wasn’t supposed to be either of those places. She was supposed to be there, not me. She was supposed to be yelling at our parents, telling them they couldn’t send Robbie away. She was supposed to be stressing about school, making sure I got my locker number, and only she knew what else. I had no fucking clue.

It was Saturday night. I had one more day, and then I was going to the new school—just me. It wasn’t supposed to be just me.

She was my partner in crime. No matter how much she pissed me off, made my blood boil, annoyed the crap out of me, she was my other half.

“You okay?”

I didn’t know the girl who spoke to me, and maybe that was why I was honest. “I’m going crazy.”

She’d been passing by, empty cup in hand, but did a double take.

I waved her on, a nice fake smile on my face. “I’m good. You?”

“Oh.” Her head tilted to the side. I could’ve been a green alien, and she would’ve looked at me the same way. “Okay. Good then.” She edged away.

Run, little girl. Run from the crazy, pissed-off psycho drunk.

No, scratch that. I was the crazy, pissed-off psycho buzzed chick. The little buzz I’d had before faded on the drive there. I was playing catch-up. Two more beers, and I’d be in the drunk stage. And that was something I needed to address.

I swung around, looking to follow that girl, but Ryan was there. He grabbed my arms as I walked into him, and he took away my cup.

“No.” He tossed it to the side, turned me around, and began walking me away from the beer.

I pointed behind us. “I have to go that way.”

He shook his head, still walking behind me. “We’re going this way, away from the keg.”

I pointed again. “But the keg is that way.”

“Exactly.”

“I want to go toward the keg.”

“I don’t.”

I dug in my feet and crossed my arms over my chest. We were about to have a difference of opinion, but Ryan didn’t care. He kept pushing me ahead, and when I locked my legs in place, his arm wrapped around my waist, and he lifted me.

“Oooh!” I squeaked. I hadn’t been expecting that.

Two points for him.

He carried me until we were far away from everyone with some trees to our right, lawn to the left, and a creek crossing both. I ignored the full moon above us. I’d already looked up as I talked to Willow. The sky and anything else up there were cut off from my attention. She didn’t deserve it anymore.

“Sit.”

Ryan’s hand went to my shoulders as if he were going to push me down, but I shrugged off his touch and moved farther away. Wrapping my arms around myself, I warded off a chill that wasn’t in the air.

“Mac.”

I waved a hand at him. “I’m good. I won’t drink anymore.”

“That isn’t why I stopped you.”

I looked up, frowning. “Why did you?”

He shrugged, cocking his head to the side. “You looked upset. Okay, and yeah”—his eyes flicked upwards—“maybe it was to stop you from drinking. Getting drunk when it’s just me is one thing. Getting drunk around strangers . . . I don’t know.” He looked back at where we’d come from. The bass thumped softly in the background. A few laughing shrieks rang out. “I didn’t like how some of the guys were looking at you,” Ryan confessed.

“Oh.” I’d already forgotten how Nick’s older brother had gaped at me. I’d gotten that a lot since Willow. I blocked it out. “Don’t worry.” I shot him a grin. “I won’t sleep with any of them. I think the magical sleeping aid exists only with you.” And remembering how Nick’s brother and then his other friends had fawned over Ryan when we arrived, I nudged him with my elbow. “I’m not sure if I liked how they were looking at you either.”

He smiled and seemed to relax. “Sit with me?”

I nodded. It was stupid, but I liked that he asked. This time I wasn’t told where to go. I wasn’t taken somewhere. I wasn’t given a rule.