“No!” I grabbed his shirt, and my hand formed a fist in it. “Don’t.”

He frowned. “She can’t be a bitch. It isn’t right.”

Was he clueless about how girls worked? I shook my head. “Let it go. I can handle myself, but word to the wise.” I nodded in the direction his friends had gone. “I’ve got a feeling she’s been a bitch behind your back to Cora.”

His head moved back a centimeter. “You serious?” His mouth pressed in a hard, flat line.

Good. I liked that he cared about his friend.

It was good that he cared, and that look told me so much.

He’d do something about it.

He was like Willow in that regard. If she saw an injustice, she did something. Unless she was the injustice.

My stomach twisted.

I had been that friend, the one who wouldn’t do anything. I never had to. Willow fought our fights for us.

I felt nauseated thinking about that, and I suddenly, didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to think at all anymore. I didn’t want to have memories in my head, making me feel things I couldn’t handle.

I was ashamed. I should’ve been this person before . . .

No. Stop thinking. Stop feeling. “Let’s go watch the movie.”

Ryan gazed at me a moment longer and then nodded. “Okay.”

Once we sat, once the lights turned off, once the move started, I let the first tear fall.

I passed on the party after the movie. No one protested when Nick took me back to my house, and I suppose it was partly because they all had the same survival instinct as I did. No shock there. Heads would roll if I went to that party, and I wasn’t sure if it’d be mine or Erin’s first.

Ryan crawled out right behind me, and I turned around. “Wha—”

He ignored me, shutting the door, and tapped twice on top of the car.

Nick rolled his window down, but before he said anything, Ryan leaned close and smirked. “Don’t be reckless, kids. Use safe drinking protocols. You know, lick the salt before you shoot the tequila. And no backwashing.”

Nick flashed us two fingers. “Peace.” His eyes slid me up and down. “Use a condom, children.”

Tom started laughing, and the car shot forward.

Cora was in the back, her face resembling a sad owl’s as she watched us until they turned onto the next street.

“That one is Tom’s house.” Ryan pointed to the house to the left of mine. A lamp was still on inside. “We were all out at Nick’s, and Tom told me about his new neighbor, asked if you were the same girl who’d crawled in my bed.” His hands slid into his pockets, and he hunched his shoulders forward. His shirt strained against his form, showing off those muscles again. “I’m glad you came to the movie. I thought it was a shot in the dark.”

I was glad he’d texted too. And I was surprised at that, but I was. Even dealing with the ex was a good distraction.

I tilted my head to the side. “Did you really not know how mean your ex is? She seems like the resident bully.”

He hesitated before letting loose a long sigh. “Guys don’t see that stuff. I’m not using that as an excuse, but we usually focus on the good stuff about chicks. Boobs, you know. Other stuff.” He gave me a half-grin. “I’ve heard rumors, and Peach told me a few things, but seeing how she was with you tonight—and how you handled it—that was eye opening.” He chuckled softly. “It’s the same with girls, you know. You don’t see the shit guys do to each other.”

“Is that supposed to make it better?”

He shrugged. “No. Just the way it is. And for what it’s worth, I feel like an asshole for not knowing how bad Erin is.”

A brief flicker of anger had sparked, but it fanned out, and I shrugged. “I think I was spoiling for a fight. I can’t take it out on my parents like a normal teenager. They’re in this thing called mourning.”

I bit back a grin, but Ryan saw it. His right dimple showed.

“Did you want to come in?” I gestured to my house. It was completely silent and dark.

The other dimple winked at me. “I was hoping. If you don’t want to go in right away, we could sneak into Tom’s house. His parents are in San Diego, and he’s staying at Nick’s tonight.”

I eyed Tom’s house. “He’s okay with you sneaking in there?”

“Yeah. We’ve done it before, use someone’s house if it’s empty, you know.”

I suddenly didn’t want to know any more. “You know how to get in there?”

He nodded, watching me. He was waiting.

The thought of going somewhere that was not my home had my mouth watering. And that place was empty. No parents. No Peach to stare at me weirdly. No crazy ex girlfriend. No little brother in the room where my sister wasn’t. No worrying if he’d hear me crying when I couldn’t sleep at night.