He doesn’t say anything the whole ride back to my house and his body seems tighter than it did before visiting my uncle’s house.

“What did my uncle say to you?” I question, while handing him his helmet. “Did he tell you to stay away from me?”

He grits his teeth and his grip on the handle tightens. “No.”

“And if he did?” I question, needing to know if he’d listen like others have in the past.

He grips his hair, before running a hand through it to smooth it back and out of his face. “Fuck no. I’m the only one that can keep me away from you.”

My heart sinks from his words. Even the thought of him leaving me alone makes my chest hurt. “Do you want to?”

Standing up, he grabs me by the back of my neck and pulls me to him. His heated eyes roam over my face, sending chills down my spine, before they stop on my eyes. “Not today.”

Before I know it, he releases his grip on my neck and revs his engine, sliding his helmet on.

He looks back at me one more time, but doesn’t say a word, before driving off, leaving me to wonder what he meant by not today.

Please don’t let it be tomorrow either . . .

Twenty Months Ago

“HOLD THE FUCK STILL! DON’T fucking move!” The pig yells in my ear. “Leave this piece of shit with the fucking rookie while we check the rest of the house. There’s no way one man took all three of these scums down.” I feel officer Payton’s knee press harder into my neck, before slapping the back of my head and whispering, “You broke my partner’s nose, scum. Huge mistake. It’s losers like you that deserve to rot in prison, Royal.” He presses into my neck again and digs his knee in until I can’t breathe. “Knight, over here,” he demands. “Don’t let him fucking move. Use your gun if you have to.”

I feel the pressure of the officer’s knee leave my neck, before an arm presses down on the back of my head, but a lot gentler than the last asshole cop. “I got him. He won’t go anywhere.”

The rookie waits until the other officers’ footsteps retreat down the hall before releasing the back of my head, as I shake his hand off in rage. He doesn’t even fight to restrain me, which surprises me. The cops in this town are assholes.

I feel him lean in close to my ear as I sit straight up on my knees and look at her. “These assholes murdered your pregnant fiancé,” he whispers in a pained voice. “I would have done the same thing. They deserved to suffer for that shit. I know that for sure.” His hands grab at the cuffs, before I feel my left arm fall free. “Say bye to her. That’s all I can give you.”

Looking at her lying there, I crawl over to her on my knees and immediately feel the tears sting my eyes as I rest my face on her swollen tummy. I’ve never felt such pain in my life. Nothing can ever compare to the misery running through my body right now, and it’s eating me alive.

Fighting the feeling to lay here and die along with her, I pull her lifeless body into my lap and bury my face into her cold neck.

“I’m so fucking sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry,” I cry. “I failed to protect you and Hadley and I’ll never forgive myself for that. I love you,” I whisper. “Fuck, I love you so fucking much. I’ve loved you my whole damn life and I’ll never stop. Not for one fucking second. I’d die for you, Livie. I’d fucking die for you.”

I run a hand down my face in frustration at myself. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I did this,” I cry against her neck. “I should have known to be here. I should have gotten here sooner.”

With tear stained eyes, I pull her closer against me, not ready to let go yet, when I hear the footsteps of the other officers approaching again. They’re close enough that I can hear them talking now.

“The house is empty. This loser is more lethal than I gave him credit for.” It’s silent for a few seconds, until the officers come into view, looking surprised, yet pissed as hell to see me down on the ground holding Olivia in my arms.

“What the fuck, Rookie? You looking to lose your job already?”

“His cuffs were too tight,” Officer Knight says stiffly. “My bad. Maybe you should learn to put on cuffs better. Just let him say goodbye to his family. He’s not going anywhere. He’s the one that called us.”

“Fuck you, Knight. We’ll discuss this with the Chief later.”

The sound of ambulance sirens causes the whole room to go quiet and for the officer with the broken nose to finally take a second to look around him at the mess I made.

“Shit, this is going to be a mess to clean up.” When he looks over at me again, I see a small glimpse of sympathy, before it’s replaced with fear. “Let’s get him out of here.”

Paramedics rush in and past us, going straight to Olivia as they begin dragging me away.

I can hear them screaming for supplies to work on her and the baby, but those fuckers are too late. Just like I was . . .

The only thing on my mind as they drag me away is how the fuck I’m going to find Brian when I get out.

Four lives for two . . . that’s the way it has to be.

MY CONVERSATION WITH MARK KEEPS running through my head, messing with me and making me question just what the hell I’m doing with Avalon.

He was right about a few things, one of them being the fact that if she’s going to be around me she needs to know what happened in my past.

She deserves to know that she’s spending time with a killer; a man that is willing to take the life of anyone who hurts the ones he loves. I killed those men without even an ounce of remorse, and watched as James’ life drained from his eyes. I wanted to kill them. I didn’t only want to, but I needed to.

The fucked up part is that I’m still out for blood from the fucker that put my family in that position to begin with. I’m not even close to being done yet. Brian has no chance once I get my hands on him and I won’t even think twice before putting my bullet straight through his fucking head.

What kind of demented monster does that make me? Can a human with a beating heart really just take another man’s last breath and not be considered cold, dark, and depraved? Does that even make me human at all?

I’m not so sure myself, and the thought of revealing the true monster inside me to Avalon has had me tense and on edge all night. I even attacked Blaine and slammed him against the wall when he asked me about Avalon. Just her name was enough to set me off.