“You okay?”

Valerie shook her head and walked into the restroom. Isabel had witnessed many of Valerie and Alex’s over-the-phone arguments. She’d been mad at him plenty of times, but this was the first time she saw her cry over him, if her tears now in fact were because of him.

Valerie came out of the restroom and pulled a t-shirt out of a bag from the floor. She took the blouse she wore off, and pulled the t-shirt over her head. Isabel had already decided she’d let her be and not pry, until Valerie sat down on her bed and buried her face in her hands, sobbing.

Out of pure reaction, because it was what she’d do if it was one of her sisters, Isabel jumped from her bed and sat next to Valerie, putting an arm around her. Valerie leaned against her, welcoming the comfort of Isabel’s gesture.

“I don’t even know why I care anymore,” she said, finally looking up. “It’s not like he’s ever promised me anything.”

Isabel stared at Valerie’s wet face. She grabbed the box of tissue from the desk and handed it to Valerie.

“He does this all the time.” She stopped to blow her nose. “And I pretend like it doesn’t bother me, then I find out the truth and…” she put the tissue to her eyes and took a deep breath. “It hurts like hell.”

Isabel had only been in one relationship in her life. It was long, but boring by most standards. She didn’t have much to offer in the way of advice. “What did he lie about?”

Valerie told her how long she’d been going out with Alex, and that she’d been drooling over him since grade school. Theirs was an open relationship, which Isabel didn’t get. Supposedly, they were both okay with seeing other people. From what little Isabel knew about Alex and the body language she saw when he was with her, he didn’t strike her as someone who would be okay with that kind of understanding. But she listened without interrupting.

“The longer I keep this up, the more it hurts to know I won’t be spending time with him because he’s with someone else. I used to shake it off, but sometimes it really hurts, especially coming off a week like this one.”

“So why don’t you tell him?”

Valerie shook her head. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

“It’s always been like this between us. Either I accept our relationship for what it is—take what he will give me—or walk away and lose him completely.” She took one final deep breath, and wiped her eyes. “I’m done crying. This isn’t the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last.” She gave Isabel a pathetic little smile. “I’m starving. You wanna split a pizza?”

They ordered a large pizza. As tiny as Valerie was, she devoured more than half within minutes. They sat on the floor exchanging stories about high school and their families back home. “You live in La Jolla and you’re paying for a dorm? Isn’t that like twenty minutes away?”

Valerie nodded. “Alex.” Valerie must’ve read the look of confusion on Isabel’s face because she clarified, “I was hoping the time away from home would help me eventually get over him.”

Valerie told her more about her relationship. Isabel told her about her high school sweetheart, Jacob. They talked until almost three in the morning.

“Two and a half years, really?”

“Yeah,” Isabel smiled. “We started going out my sophomore year.”

“So why’d you break up?”

“It wasn’t so much a break up, as it was a to-be-continued type of deal. He enlisted in the Navy. He wanted us to stay together, but I just didn’t think it would work. Plus,” Isabel shrugged. “I was kind of over it already anyway. When he told me about enlisting, I was actually relieved. I’d already started to practice my break-up speech.”

“You weren’t in love with him?”

“I thought I was. But looking back now, I think I was just in love with the idea of being in love, you know? He was my first everything, and even though that was exciting, it was never spectacular. I’ve read so much about that warm fuzzy feeling and how you can hardly wait to see him again—when you’re with them the world seems to stand still.”

Valerie pouted. “I know that feeling.”

Isabel pouted too. “Well at least you’ve felt it. I never did. I think we were just too comfortable with each other from the very beginning. Everything was perfect all the time. I don’t even remember ever arguing with him. We agreed on everything.”

“What about the sex?” Valerie grinned.

“It was okay.” Valerie’s expression made her laugh. “I mean at first, of course it was. We were both each other’s firsts, so that was exciting. But neither of us knew what we were doing, it was always over so fast—never mind-blowing like I’ve read so much and seen in the movies.”

She left the part out about how after two years with him she’d never even had an orgasm. On her own, certainly, but never with him. A big part of the reason was since they were so young, most of the time they were sneaking around so they had to make it quick. That was probably the most exciting thing about it. That she was doing something bad, and though she never admitted it to Jacob she liked being bad sometimes. It was so unlike her she doubted Jacob ever knew how thrilling it had been for her to take such risks.

Isabel didn’t even have to ask, but she did anyway. “How ‘bout you and Alex?”