They left.

I watched the space they were in for a long time forcing, with a super human effort, my mind to go blank.

Then I baked.

I swung by the hospital to visit Dad.

They said it was good he made it through the night. They took him off the critical list and would move him out of ICU if things kept on as they were.

They told me he’d been awake for awhile but he was asleep when I went in to see him.

I sat, holding his hand and tel ing him about my day.

Then I told him about my decision.

He didn’t respond, he didn’t give me any judgements, attitude or advice and certainly not The Hand.

This, I thought was good even though I’d rather he didn’t do it because he didn’t have any judgements, attitude or advice, not that he was a couple of brain pathways shutting down away from a coma.

Then, I left.

I walked into Fortnum’s about half an hour before closing carrying bags fil ed with tins and boxes that were stuffed ful with cookies, cakes and pies.

Everyone was there. Lee, Indy, Al y, Tex, Duke, Jane and Hank.

“Jet!” Indy yel ed when she saw me and ran up to me, giving me a big hug.

I was about to tel her I was okay but she pul ed away and shoved her hand in my face.

There was huge rock on her ring finger.

“Ohmigod!” I yel ed, dumped the bags and hugged her, shaking her body from side to side and laughing. “You’re getting married,” I said when I pul ed back a bit.

She nodded. “Lee asked me over a champagne breakfast.” Then she leaned in, “We just got out of bed, like, an hour ago,” she whispered.

She leaned back, eyes bright and happy, and I nodded the knowing girlfriend’s nod.

“Nice,” I said

“You better believe it,” she replied.

Everyone was in celebration mode and it was far, far better than desperation mode so I went with it. I’d tel Indy I was quitting later.

I handed out cookies, cakes and pies, giving Lee a big bag al to himself to take to the office. At first, I was glad I had Indy and Lee’s news to take attention off the gifts. It didn’t real y work, considering the looks and hugs I got, but they knew me enough by now not to make a big deal of it.

We were locking up and going to Indy and Lee’s for a celebration drink when Daisy came storming up, carrying what looked like twenty magazines.

“Al y

texted

me.

I

got Bride, Modern Bride, Contemporary Bride, Today’s Bride, Denver Bride, Wedding, Martha Stewart Wedding and Vogue, real y just for the pictures ‘cause who dresses like that? And People

‘cause some fancy-ass celebrity is probably gettin’ hitched and we can steal ideas.”

“Righteous,” Al y said.

“I think that covers it,” Indy said.

“Fucking hel ,” Hank muttered, sounding horrified.

I shot him a grin.

He caught it, threw his arm around my neck and gave me a sideways hug, keeping me held against him in a modified, friendly Eddie’s Woman Hold.

My grin turned false and I ignored the painful crunch in my bel y.

I was going to miss these guys.

* * * * *

Tod and Stevie showed up, Chowleena in tow, a half an hour after we al got to Indy and Lee’s. They were carrying, between them, what looked like a dozen bottles of chil ed sparkling wine and a Yahtzee game. “Since Lee moved in, we’ve been preparing. Now, we’l have room in our fridge,” Stevie said.

He and Tod took in the female huddle sitting in Indy’s living room, pouring over wedding magazines.

The men, (Lee and Hank had been joined by Vance, Matt and Bobby), were upstairs watching a bal game and drinking beer. Duke had gone home to Dolores, Tex had gone home to the cats and Jane just went home (she didn’t do crowds).

“Aiyeee!” Tod screamed, “Is that Modern Bride? I love Modern Bride. Move over,” he said, not exactly moving me over but shoving me off an armchair so I landed on my ass on the floor and he confiscated the magazine I was flipping through by ripping it out of my hands.

“I’m thinking wedding colors green and yel ow,” Tod decided. “No, no, pale blush and burgundy,” he changed his mind. “No, sapphire and ice,” he changed his mind again.

I didn’t know “ice’ was a color.

Indy started giggling.

Stevie popped open a bottle of wine.

“Get the glasses!” he shouted, then looked around,

“What the hel , we’re celebrating and we have enough so that everyone can have their own.”

Then he took a swig straight out of the bottle.

* * * * *

We were al playing Yahtzee. I was well into my personal bottle of wine, wedged between Hank and Vance at Indy’s dining room table.

She’d opened it up so that it was huge but stil , it was a crush with eleven people sitting around it. It was my turn in a few goes when the phone in my back pocket rang.

I pul ed it out and saw the display said, “Eddie cal ing”.

“Damn,” I whispered.

Then I took a hearty tug on my bottle with both Hank and Vance watching. I was pretty sure they’d seen the display on my phone, which meant I couldn’t ignore it like I wanted to.

I flipped it open.

“Hey,” I said.

“Where are you?” Eddie asked.

I looked at the table, everyone had their eyes on me.

Wonderful.

I hated that.

“I’m at Indy and Lee’s, drinking sparkling wine and playing Yahtzee. Indy and Lee got engaged today and we’re celebrating,” I answered.

Silence.

“Eddie? Did you hear me? Indy and Lee got engaged.” More silence.

Hmm.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“I’m standin’ in my bedroom lookin’ at the empty space where your bag used to be.”

Eek!

I gave a weak smile to the table, got up and started towards the kitchen.

“I meant to tel you,” I said as I was walking.

“When?”

I hadn’t actual y meant to tel him. I had meant to avoid him until I had a chance to figure out what I meant to tel him.

Which meant, figure out my life, sort out Fortnum’s and Smithie’s and then say good-bye. I got sidetracked by the Smithie’s and then say good-bye. I got sidetracked by the informal engagement party, the sparkling wine and the Yahtzee.