I closed my eyes and tried to turn my face away, hateful, humiliating memories charging through my brain and making my blood run cold. I didn’t want these memories but more, it was unthinkable that Hector shared them with me.

His hand at the side of my head put gentle pressure there to keep me facing him, foiling my mini-escape Hector plan. I opened my eyes again and he was still looking at me with that warm intensity.

“The next day, the two men in your kitchen walked into your hospital room, they took one look at the state of you and it rocked their world.”

The burning in my lungs intensified.

“Stop talking,” I whispered.

He didn’t stop talking. “Then they did everything in their power to take care of you and help you heal. And, from what I can see, they did a damn fine job of it.”

“Please stop talking.” I was still whispering.

Hector still didn’t stop talking. “A few nights ago, I watched you walk away from a bartender who hadn’t finished your order, you went down the hall, past the bathroom and then you disappeared out the backdoor. I followed you only to find you’d walked right into the hands of Harvey Balducci. He had you clean off the ground, you were fightin’ him and you were losin’. Daisy didn’t stop me, I would have squeezed the life out of him and you didn’t stop Daisy, she would have kept on beatin’ him.”

“Hector –”

He shook his head to stop my interruption and kept talking. “You don’t have a lot of experience with this kind of thing, so I’ll explain it to you. Sadie, these are the actions of people who care about you. What happens to you happens to you but, in a way, it also happens to the people around you that care about you.”

I felt tears start to sting my eyes and I clenched my teeth to stop them.

Hector saw it and his face dipped even closer. “If you’re in danger, they got a right to know. You keep it from them, somethin’ happens to you and you end up –”

“Enough!” I snapped.

My finely honed defense mechanism clicked into place and Sorceress of the Antarctic made an appearance precisely when I needed her.

Finally!

My back straightened, my chin lifted and, even though I couldn’t see them, I knew my eyes weren’t warm and they were no longer filled with tears. They were shards of ice.

“Fine,” I clipped, my voice cold.

Hector’s eyes went even more intense as they scanned my face.

Then he murmured as if to himself, “Fuckin’ hell, I lost her.”

I ignored his words because there was no point in responding. He had, indeed, lost her.

New Sadie was a memory. She had to be, this was no place for her.

“I’ll talk to Buddy and Ralphie. You do,” I hesitated, “whatever you have to do.”

“Sadie –” he started, giving me a gentle squeeze.

“No,” I interrupted him and pulled away. Yanking out of his arm and jerking my head from his hand, I took a step back. “It’s fine. You’re right, perfectly right. Thank you for the lesson in kindness and morality. You’re right about that too, I don’t know much about that either.”

His eyes flashed and he clipped out a, “God damn it,” but I was already out the door.

I marched back to the kitchen so fast my robe flew out behind me.

I halted inside the kitchen and looked at Buddy and Ralphie who were both sitting close together at the island, Buddy’s arm was around Ralphie’s shoulders. When their faces turned to me, I noticed they looked worried.

Blooming heck!

I felt Hector enter the kitchen but I ignored him. I prepared to make an Ice Princess Speech, something I’d never really had to do before but I figured I could pull it off.

It was time to be mistress of my own destiny or I’d lose everything. I was sick of losing and I was going to put a stop to it, right f**king now.

I took a deep breath and charged in. “Last night, a couple of hours after Hector left, Marty Balducci called me and he was angry about me pressing charges against his brothers. He said he was going to take care of Harvey and Ricky and I’d been a stupid bitch,” I announced.

Buddy’s arm dropped from around Ralphie’s shoulders, they both straightened and I kept talking.

“He told me I was going to pay.”

Ralphie’s eyes closed slowly. Buddy’s face went tight.

I went right on talking. “He called me the c-word.”

Ralphie’s eyes flew open and he gasped.

“Twice,” I went on.

“The c-word?” Ralphie breathed, his face getting red.

“Yes,” I clipped then continued. “Hector’s people are monitoring my cell calls. One of them heard it, told Hector and he came back around.”

“Why didn’t you come to us last night? We’re just across the hall,” Buddy asked me.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” I answered.

“You…” Buddy’s eyes were wide then he shook his head in disbelief. “You didn’t want to wake us?”

“That’s right,” I told him, my voice pure ice but I watched with a sinking heart as Buddy started to look mad and I knew he was mad at me.

I hated it that he was mad at me but I kept going and this time my glacial gaze slid across the whole room including in its frosty path Hector, who was now standing by the island, leaned against it, taking in my performance with a blank face and his arms crossed on his chest.

“Now, what you all don’t understand, but I’ll explain to you, is that this isn’t unusual for me. Dealing with these kinds of people, this kind of behavior, it doesn’t faze me. It’s been my life for twenty-nine years. I will admit that I’ve never been the target but I also know how these people work. These are my people, this is my world and you have my sincere apologies for dragging you all into it with me.”

“Sadie, sweetie –” Ralphie was getting up but I lifted my hand and shook my head. He took one look at my face, blinked slowly and settled, wordlessly (a miracle!), back on his stool.

“I don’t know what to do but I’ll figure something out and I’ll inform you of my plans when I’ve come to some conclusions. In the meantime, I know that the situation is grave and I appreciate all your help in keeping me safe.” I was barreling toward my grand finale and I swept across the room, snatched my coffee cup from the counter and started toward the door. “Now, I’m getting ready for work.” My eyes went to Hector. “Enjoy the brioche and have a nice day,” I finished.