Hee hee.

* * * * *

I went to my hotel and tore through my suitcases (yes, I had two, I was high maintenance and high maintenance women didn’t go anywhere without at least two suitcases) looking for an outfit to wear for my date. I was staring at the exploded suitcases in despair because, even though I had more clothes in those two suitcases than most of the earth’s population would own in their lifetimes, I did not have an outfit to wear on my date with Whisky. My cel phone rang.

I tensed and stared at my purse like it was a living thing out for my blood and I yanked the phone out of my bag, expecting it to tel me Bil y was cal ing.

Instead, it told me Daisy was cal ing.

In shock, I flipped it open. “Hel o?”

“Hey Sugar Bunch, what’re you wearin’ for your date?” Daisy asked.

I sat on the edge of the bed. I’d known this woman for less than twenty-four hours and she acted like she’d known me for twenty-four years.

“I’ve no idea,” I told her.

“Cal Indy, she’l know. She’s good at that stuff. Listen, you gonna be in town awhile?”

What now?

“I don’t know,” I answered.

“Wel , me and Marcus are havin’ a party, not this Thursday but next. Would love for you to come.” That was so sweet of her.

“I don’t know if I’l be here but if I am, I’l come,” I said.

“I don’t need exact numbers, it’s a charity do so it’l be finger food. The people comin’ own most of Denver. They can afford to fil their bel ies before they show up at The Castle.”

The Castle?

Daisy went on. “It’s black tie, you got something sparkly to wear?”

“Um…” I didn’t. Bil y and I didn’t normal y attend black tie affairs.

“Don’t worry, Tod wil loan you somethin’. He’s a drag queen. He has the best closet. Oh! Gotta go, my masseuse is here. Ta-ta!”

“Bye,” I said to dead air. She’d already hung up.

I flipped the phone closed and tried to flip off the switch that was making me feel welcome and safe and weirdly at home (the switch didn’t work).

I washed my face in order to prepare for my nighttime makeup regime and I was drying it when my phone rang. I looked at it on the vanity, certain that it would be Bil y, but instead it said it was Tod, Indy’s neighbor.

Holy cow. I knew that Daisy had programmed in Tod and Stevie when she was fiddling with my phone. How Tod got my number, I did not know.

I flipped it open. “Hel o?”

“Hey girlie. It’s Tod. Daisy cal ed, said you might need something to wear to her big bash. Come over, we’l go through my closet,” Tod invited.

Oh my God, that was so sweet.

“I’m not sure I’m going to be here,” I told him.

“You have to be here! It’s gonna be the party of the decade!” Tod screeched like I just told him I turned down a marriage proposal from Prince Wil iam.

“Um…” I said.

“Come over anyway. I’l get out a bottle of sparkling wine and the Yahtzee game.”

“I’m going on a date with Hank.”

Silence.

Then, “Shit, those boys don’t f**k around.” He could say that again.

Because I needed help, I took a deep breath and confided, “I’m not sure what to wear.”

Tod answered immediately, “Tel me what you’ve got.” I described the contents of my suitcases. The whole time I spoke, he muttered, “Mm hmm. Mm hmm.” Then, when I described my black top with the wide, scoop neck, he yel ed, “That! With jeans and heels and a rock ‘n’ rol scarf.

Do you have a good belt? Forget it. I’m coming over with belts… and scarves. Be there in ten.”

Then he disconnected.

I stared at the phone.

Was he serious?

Holy cow.

He couldn’t be serious.

I couldn’t worry about it. Time was ticking by and I’d only just begun my preparations. I started on my makeup and just got through the first phase of a five phase production when the phone went again.

My body didn’t tense this time, I could see the display saying “Al y Cal ing”.

I was no longer surprised by this bizarre string of phone cal s.

“Hi,” I answered.

“Hey chickie, Daisy texted me your number. You got an outfit for your date with Hank?”

Good grief.

“No, but I think Tod’s coming over with belts and scarves.”

“Good to hear, Tod’l sort you out. How long you staying in Denver?”

“I don’t know.”

“Wel , it’s October and the Haunted Houses are opening and we’re going, al of us, Indy, Jet, Daisy and me. You gotta go. It’s hilarious.”

“I don’t do scary,” I informed her, thinking she’d understand.

She didn’t understand.

“Perfect. Don’t worry. The chainsaw man never has a chain on his saw. We’l keep you in the loop. Gotta go.

Later.”

Chainsaw man?

Before I could ask, she disconnected.

I was staring at the dead phone in my hand when the hotel phone rang. I walked over and picked it up, this time worried that Bil y’d found me too soon. Or worse, Hank had come early.

“Hel o?”

“It’s Tod, what room number are you?”

I was silent a second.

He was serious. How did he even know where I was?

I didn’t want to know.

“Three thirty-three,” I said.

Disconnect.

Good God.

Now I knew how Uncle Tex had been so wel , truly and quickly ensconced in the fold. These people acted as fast as lightening.

There was a knock on the door and I opened it. Tod walked in carrying enough scarves and belts to accessorize the entirety of the Purdue Boiler Babes Dance Team.

He charged in tossing everything on the bed.

I closed the door and walked back into the room.

“Tod, he’s going to be here in…” I looked at my watch.

Then I let out a little scream.

“Calm, calm,” Tod said, his hands out in front of him, palms down, pressing the air. “Let’s get crackin’. Finish your face, I’l sort through this.”

Then, without further ado, he started digging through my suitcases.