I sat up in bed, and a cold sweat came over me.

Me: Is everything okay now?

Blaise: Can I come over?

A zing raced through me, a flutter of excitement.

Me: Really?

Blaise: You’re in the gated community, right? I know Tucker. He’ll tell me which house.

Tucker was Mr. Carl’s son.

Me: Tucker shouldn’t let you go through.

Blaise: He won’t unless you call and tell him to do it. Will you? Are your parents home?

I threw back my covers as I replied.

Me: Okay. I’ll call. Tucker is supposed to put you on a list. My parents will see that list.

Blaise: He won’t. I’ll ask him not to. He works with my mom so he’s cool.

I sighed and called the front desk for our neighborhood. Tucker answered. “Yeah. He’s right here,” he said after I explained.

“Can you let him through?”

I heard a beep in the background, and he came back on the line. “Are you sure about this, Miss Aspen? I know Blaise, and he’s got issues.”

“He’s good with me. It’ll be fine. Please don’t put him on the list.”

“I won’t if you ask me not to.”

“Thank you, Tucker.” I hurried down the hallway and passed the front door. We didn’t have the alarm on because my dad was in the back shed, where he was still editing. He said he worked out there, but we all smelled the cigars.

I waited at the side of the house until I saw Blaise’s Wagon. He parked on the street, closer to the next lot, and walked back toward my house.

As he came up the driveway, I flashed my phone and waved at him.

He changed directions, coming toward me in the dark. “Nice. I’ve not snuck into a girl’s house in a long time.” He grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek.

I was momentarily stunned at that greeting, “For future reference, this is how you’ll sneak in, okay?” I squeezed his hand as I led him through the side door.

“I like it. You’re already my co-conspirator.” He squeezed my hand back, and I led him up the back stairs to my room. “Can I tell you now how much I appreciate your ass?” he murmured. “It’s the best ass I think I’ve ever seen.”

“Shut up.” I grinned as I tugged us into my room and locked the door.

“Ooh, a locked door too. Such a scandal.”

“Shut up!” I took his head and tugged it down to mine.

I’d been wanting to do this since his text. No. I’d been wanting this since we left the campsite this morning.

Groaning, he deepened the kiss and picked me up.

I gasped as he walked us over to my bed. He eased me down and crawled over my body as I scooted up to the top. His eyes had darkened. “You are seriously gorgeous, Aspen.” He ran a hand over my shirt, hooking it on my shorts, but he didn’t do anything else. He only rubbed his thumb back and forth. I shivered, knowing what that thumb could do to my body. But he didn’t do more.

Lying beside me, he cupped my face as we kissed.

He rubbed his thumb over my cheek the whole time.

Which felt nice. It all felt nice. My body was literally humming.

After a bit, I eased back, frowning. “Why aren’t you putting the moves on me?”

He grinned, lying on his back. He slid one of his arms under me, pulling me against his chest. “I didn’t come over to hook up. I just came over.”

His other hand found my waist, rubbing back and forth over the stretch of skin showing there. He pushed my shirt up, but only moved over my stomach, back and forth in a slow and comforting motion.

“I almost got into a fight with my brother today,” he said after a moment.

I tensed, shifting to angle my body so I could see him. His hand kept smoothing over my stomach. “About what?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Because I wanted to fight him. I don’t even remember what it was about.”

I rolled my eyes. “That doesn’t sound like you at all.”

He grinned, his hand darting up and tweaking just under my breast.

“Ow!”

But he covered my breast with his palm, soothing it before going back to my stomach. “Sorry.” He tensed, jackknifing upright. “Shit! I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I can’t just grab you and—”

“Hey!” I sat up with him, catching his hands. I tugged on them, getting him to look at me. “It’s fine. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t let you into my house, much less my room. It’s fine. I could lay down the law if I needed to.”

His eyes clung to mine, a haunting agony starting to show there. “You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

Then he relaxed, one muscle at a time, until he was lying down, his hand back on my stomach. After a bit, he started running it in a circle again. “Jesus.” His lips found my shoulder, and he kissed me there. “I’m starting to realize how much of a mess I am. I am truly fucked up. I tried to fight my brother, and I don’t even have a relationship with him. I called my guys to back me up in case I tried to fight my non-bio dad. I needed them to keep him away from me.”

I frowned. “What happened?”

He snorted, a sound of disgust. “What always fucking happens with me. I mouthed off and kept going, purposefully pushing him until he wanted to flatten me. When we first came here, I thought I had everything handled. Then I found out about the dad situation, and now I’m just a walking asshole. The shit I said to Cross…” He shook his head, nipping my skin lightly before he sat up. “I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t bring this shit to you. You and me, we’re moving too fast. I’m sorry.”

He started to get off the bed.

My heart spiked in panic.

He was going. He truly was going to leave.

He paused, his hand on the doorknob, and looked back. “We shouldn’t be friends even. I’ll just fuck up your life.”

“Stop!”

My heart splintered.

My stomach dropped to my feet.

That was enough. My voice unscrambled my head, and I darted off the bed. But I didn’t go to him. He wanted to leave, and I wasn’t going to physically stop him. That was beneath me, but when I saw he was waiting, I opened my mouth.

I didn’t know what I was going to say until it all came spilling out.

“I need you. Okay?” Oh my God. Did I actually say that?

I blinked. I had. And there was more.

My chest ached. I didn’t like to think about this stuff, but here it was. I balled my hands into fists. I’d never said any of this out loud.

“I barely know my brother. He’s been so mad at our parents that he mostly stays away. He’s almost a stranger, so then it was just Owen and me until…”

I couldn’t.

I heard the car screeching. The red lights flashing.

The taste of blood.

Then nothing.

It was the feeling after the nothing that gave me nightmares, when I let myself remember.

I wasn’t letting myself remember.

“Hey.” Blaise stepped in front of me. “Hey.” He wrapped me in his arms. “I get it,” he whispered. “You don’t have to say anything more. Trust me. I get it.” He pulled back, looking down.

I wasn’t at the edge anymore. He’d pulled me back.

“I am fucked up, and I’m guessing I’m contagious—making you think you’re all messed up, but you aren’t. You’re good. You know that, right?” He said that like he was trying to convince me the sky was up and not down, and I was the moron for not believing him. Then he grinned. “You got a television screen in this house? Let’s watch a movie.” He looked around and made a tsking sound. “This massive place and no television in your room? So low-brow of you, Aspen. I’m disappointed.”

“Shut up.” I tugged him to the door and led him to the movie room. I was a little embarrassed. “There’s a bigger one in the basement, but this one is just for me. They put it in on the off chance I might have friends who wanted to hang out.”

My neck was hot. I knew my face was red, and I didn’t know why. Blaise came from wealth too.

I motioned to the speakers. “We can turn it super loud and no one will hear us.”

He looked around the room. The large screen encompassed an entire wall. There were couches spread out over the rest of the room.

He shook his head. “Man, no snack room? No attendant to walk the lane, check our tickets? Make sure we didn’t sneak in? You’re so poor.”

“Stop it.” I hit him with a pillow and nodded to the back. “The snack room is there, and before you make any more jokes, I actually talked my parents out of doing more than they did.” This was embarrassing enough.

Blaise sighed as he grinned down at me. “Looks like we’ll just have to hole up here in case there’s a zombie outbreak. What? You don’t have two pizza toasters? Just one? Talk about budget cuts. I can really see it in here.”

I grinned, my chest loosening, and by the time we’d made a pizza and settled on the couches, it was well past midnight. When the movie started—a superhero one that wasn’t scheduled to come out for another year—I got comfortable. This was one of the perks of my parents’ job, but I was asleep not even halfway through it.