“What if we can’t?”

Frustration clenched in my chest. What was he talking about? I thought we had worked this out. Why was he talking this way now?

The words poured out of his mouth. “Even with you by my side maybe I can’t deal with it. Maybe I’m not the guy you think I am. Maybe I won’t be able to handle finding out that I’m gonna end up being crippled or worthless or dead in a few months. Maybe I’m just too weak . . .”

He looked away from me, his face red.

A knife sliced through my heart, making every breath difficult to take. Was he just saying those things because he was scared or did he really mean them? Hearing those words come from his mouth hurt more than anything he could have said at that moment.

A bubbling fury rose in my chest, ready to explode.

“STOP IT!” I yelled, stomping my foot. “How can you even say those things? If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably be at the bottom of a lake right now.”

My vision was starting to get blurry and my face wet, but I didn’t care. If people passing through the parking lot wanted to watch me cry, so be it.

Hunter didn’t say anything, his fists working at his side.

I hit him on the chest as tears beaded and fell down my face, trying to drive every word into his heart. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be numb and empty because of what happened to my parents. You were the only one could drag me out.”

He grabbed at my hands to stop me from hitting him. “Lorrie, stop . . .”

I wrenched my hands away. I wasn’t done yet.

“If it wasn’t for you, I’d still be hiding in bed, afraid of the world, afraid of everything. Every time I fell, it was your strength that picked me up off the floor so don’t you dare say you’re weak. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met!”

My lungs felt like they were about to burst. I angrily wiped my eyes and shook the tears off of the back of my hand. Pursing my lips, I stared at him defiantly, daring him to challenge what I had said.

Hunter stared right back at me, his chest heaving. At first I thought he was going to argue with me, but the intensity in his eyes faded away into sorrow.

I knew that he’d been fighting this battle for a long time before I came into his life and I knew that it wasn’t easy for him. I also knew that he was a lot stronger than he gave himself credit for. Maybe no one had ever told him that, maybe he just needed to hear it from me, but I knew that he had it in him.

I took a few deep breaths to steady myself. Then I continued more softly. “I know this is your choice to make, but if finding out the results of this test will help the doctors treat you better, then I think you should go back in there. Whatever happens, I know you’re strong enough to face it.”

Hunter puffed up his cheeks and blew out a long breath. “You still think I’m strong?” he asked, “Even after you’ve seen how scared I am?”

“There’s nothing wrong with being scared. I’m scared too. Maybe I’m even more scared than you, but someone I love once told me that when you’re in a fight being afraid of getting hit is worse than the hit itself.”

He shook his head in disbelief and ran a hand through his hair. Then he turned to look at me again before lifting his face to the sky and sucking in a deep breath through his teeth. When he exhaled, it was like all the tension had left his body.

Hunter wrapped his arms around me. I let myself sink into him for a moment, before I threw my arms around him too and hugged him close to me. We had to face this battle together.

When we finally untangled ourselves from each other, a small smile cracked on his lips and he met my eyes sheepishly.

“I gotta be careful what I say around you,” he said. “Else you’re gonna use it against me someday.”

I choked out a laughed, still sniffling and slapped his arm lightly.

Hunter smiled and looked down at the asphalt, lost in his thoughts for a few moments. After a while, he looked at me, his eyes sharp and clear. “Thanks for not letting me do something stupid again. I know it’s been difficult for you.”

I shook my head. “It’s okay. That’s what we’re here for right? To save each other from doing stupid things? You’ve saved me a few times already, so I guess it’s my turn now.”

He nodded slowly, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Let’s go back inside. They’re probably gonna call me in soon.”

When we got back inside the clinic we each spent a few minutes in the bathroom, cleaning ourselves up.

Hunter and I sat down after we’d straightened ourselves out. We waited for his name to be called. The old lady and the guy in the wheelchair were gone; they must’ve been called inside already. A few minutes later a doctor cracked the door open.

“Hunter Jensen?”

I squeezed Hunter’s hand and we got up and walked over to the doctor together. The doctor had to be at least sixty. His hair was completely white, and his thick black rectangular glasses covered his wrinkled eyes.

We followed him to the back. The room was like any other doctor’s room, with posters of veins and nerves up on the walls. The beige exam table had seen better days. Its cushioning looked lumpy and uneven and the wood laminate on its base was chipped. Hunter eyed it with a distaste and sat down in one of the waiting chairs. I sat down next to him.

“Hello Hunter,” the doctor said. “I’m Dr. Miller and I’ll be interpreting your MRI results today.”

He gave us a small smile, then pressed a button on the wall behind the counter. The light box hummed on. Apparently Dr. Miller wasn’t one for small talk. Hunter didn’t say anything, but he did nod. I watched him carefully to see if he was still okay, but I couldn’t read his expression.

I thought I was ready and his mini freakout from earlier had distracted me from my own emotions, but now I was feeling the full weight of what was about to happen. When Dr. Miller produced an extra large manila envelope, I didn’t feel prepared.

“I’ve received the scans back from the test center and had a chance to read them,” he started. He pulled out the films and began put them onto the light box.

Hunter fixated on the images, as if he was trying to interpret them himself.

“Now, your primary care doctor over in Illinois sent me your records. The notes said that you sustained physical trauma to the head recently from ‘cage-fighting.’ Is that correct?”

Dr. Miller raised an eyebrow at Hunter. I held my breath.

“Yeah.” Hunter replied, tearing his eyes away from the MRI scans.

“Well, I’ll cut to the chase. Your doctor was worried about extremely rapid progression of your MS symptoms as a result of the physical trauma you suffered, but the good news is we’ve avoided the worst case scenario.”

We both let out a breath and I gave Hunter’s hand a small squeeze. We were going to be okay.

Dr. Miller cleared his throat and continued, pointing to a few spots on the MRI film. “However, it does appear you have some new lesions on your spinal cord and brain since your last scan.”

The hairs on the nape of my neck rose and my palms grew sweaty. What? I thought we had avoided the worst case scenario.

“So what does that mean?” Hunter asked, frowning.

“Well, even though we’ve avoided the worst case scenario, these lesions are worrying, and could make your next flare-up a lot worse.”