Author: Cassia Leo

“Wear some comfortable shoes today. No heels.” He gently tugs the brush through my hair as we stand in front of the bathroom mirror. He always wants to brush my hair now that he knows it sends chills through my entire body. “I have a birthday surprise for you and I want you to be comfortable.”

“A surprise for me in Raleigh? You’re not taking me dancing or to a club are you? I hate clubs.”

The brush catches on a knot in my hair and I yelp. “Sorry! No, it’s not a club.” He kisses the top of my head and hands me the brush. “You finish making yourself pretty and I’ll finish making you breakfast.”

Adam considers himself a gourmet chef now that I’ve taught him how to make my favorite fruit and yogurt parfait for breakfast. He keeps both of our refrigerators stocked with yogurt and fruit and makes it for me, along with my favorite kind of coffee, every time we spend the night together. I don’t have the heart to tell him I’m getting sick of it.

An hour later, I emerge from the bathroom fully primped and dressed in a thin, butter-yellow, off-the-shoulder shirt over a camisole and some white jean shorts. And, as Adam requested, I’m wearing some gladiator sandals with no heels. He looks me up and down as I step out of the bedroom while pulling on a silver bangle bracelet Senia gave me for President’s Day. She insists all holidays are an excuse to give gifts.

I pull my phone out of my back pocket to text her as Adam pushes a bowl of fruit and yogurt across the breakfast bar toward me. I smile at him as I punch in a message asking if she’s still meeting Adam and me for an early dinner at Bida Manda. I place my phone next to my bowl of yogurt and take the first bite of yogurt with a chunk of pineapple.

“Mmm….”

Adam smiles then plants a firm kiss on my temple before he heads for the door. “I’m going upstairs to get dressed. I’ll be back faster than you can say Bida Manda.”

“You read my text!” I shriek, and he cackles as he dashes out the front door.

As soon as the door closes, I pick up my phone and scroll through my contacts for Jackie Knight. I don’t hesitate and within two rings she answers.

“Hello?”

She sounds exactly the same as she did a year ago when I told her I was moving out of the dorm, promising to give her my new phone number once I was settled. Her voice still had that faint Southern accent she had tried to snuff out during her college years in Arizona.

“Jackie?” My voice is shaky and a bit thick with phlegm from the yogurt. I clear my throat and I hear a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line. “Jackie, it’s Claire.”

“I know,” she whispers, and now it’s obvious she’s crying and it instantly makes me want to cry.

“Jackie, I’m so sorry I haven’t called.”

“Are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m fine. I promise. I’m okay.”

“Oh, thank God.” She whispers this a few more times and my chest aches with the thought of what I’ve put her through.

She doesn’t hate me.

“Claire, honey, please tell me you’re coming home for your birthday.”

“Not tonight. I have plans. But I’m staying the night in Raleigh and I want to come see you in the morning. Is that okay?”

“Is that okay? Honey, you don’t have to ask if you can come here. This is your home. You are always welcome here.”

For a moment, I can’t breathe. I’m reminded of how much I loved living with Chris and Jackie. Even the boyfriends Jackie dated were always sweet and respectful. She never settled down after divorcing Chris’s father when he was six. She always insisted she was too picky, but the truth is she’s too strong-minded and independent. She won’t take shit from anybody, which is why I fully expected her to be pissed at me. This tearful acceptance is possibly worse.

“I’ll be there in the morning,” I say as the front door opens and Adam walks in wearing jeans and a black Rip Curl T-shirt that hugs his ripped chest.

“Claire?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me, too,” I whisper before I hang up.

Adam waits for me by the door wearing a crooked smile that melts my heart. I tuck my phone into my back pocket and stuff my two expired IDs into my other back pocket. I go to him and wrap my arms around his waist as I rest my cheek against his chest.

“Thank you for taking me today.”

“I haven’t even taken you yet. How do you know this isn’t an elaborate ruse to get my hands on your trust fund?”

I lean my head back and look into his eyes, ready to butter him up. “You have the most gorgeous light-green eyes I have ever seen on a human being.”

“That’s because they’re full of dollar signs.”

“If I give you all my money, can you take me to see my foster mother tomorrow morning?”

“Tell you what, I’ll let you keep the money if you let me have an extra slice of birthday cake tonight.”

“Deal.”

“And you know what I mean when I say birthday cake.”

“Of course I do. That stuff with the frosting.”

He leans down to kiss me, stopping right before our lips touch. “The frosting’s the best part.”

After checking in on Cora, we hop into the truck with no suitcase this time. Adam insists we can sleep naked in the hotel room and I really have no problem with this suggestion.

All the local radio stations seem to be obsessed with playing Chris Knight songs this morning so I’m extremely grateful when Adam lets me put my music on again. I need to listen to something that will calm my nerves. I find an old classical music playlist I made for meditating and hit play.

“Really?” he asks, cocking an eyebrow as he casts me a sideways glance.

“I haven’t meditated today. I need something to help me relax.”

“Only because it’s your birthday.” We sit in silence for a few minutes before he sighs. “Claire, I need to ask you something.”

“Sounds serious.”

“This foster mother we’re going to see tomorrow… does she know why you dropped out of UNC?”

“She doesn’t even know I dropped out.”

“Oh.”

He’s silent for a moment and I take the opportunity to gaze at all the highway signage displaying all the names of streets I haven’t seen since before Senia moved in. It’s been more than two months since I’ve been to Raleigh. Every mile we drive brings me closer to knowing the truth about the trust fund my mother left me, and closer to the lies I’ve been running from for the past year.

“Can I ask you something else?” he says, and something about the way his voice goes a little too high on the last word makes me think he’s nervous about this question.

“Go ahead.”

“This guy that you were with before me, what was his name again?”

“I never told you his name.”

“Right. Well, does he live in Raleigh?”

I pause as I try to figure out where this is going. Does he want to know if there’s a chance we may run into Chris or does he want to track him down and try to find out my secret from him? Or, maybe, he thinks Chris is the one who broke my heart and he wants to beat the shit out of him. I’m going to assume it’s the first one. That’s the safest conclusion to jump to.

“We’re not going to run into him. He left Raleigh right after we broke up last year.”

“Did you break up with him?”

He’s fishing. He’s asked similar, but more vague, questions over the past few weeks, but they’ve been ambiguous enough for me to dodge them or answer them without giving too much away. For instance, last week he asked if I had ever been cheated on. A few days before that he asked how many guys I’ve had sex with. When I told him I’ve only had sex with one other guy, he got a glimmer of hope in his eye. He seemed to be pleased to know that I’m practically virginal and to have me just a little more figured out.

“Yes, I broke up with him.”

“This is the same guy who was your first?”

“Why are you asking these questions all of a sudden?”

“I just feel like I should know these things before we get to your ‘hood. I’m not a Raleigh guy. I grew up in and around Carolina Beach before my parents moved to Wilmington five years ago when I went to Duke. I don’t have a lot of friends in Raleigh. I just want to make sure I’m not caught by surprise.”

He thinks we’re going to run into someone, not just Chris, who may give him a hard time about being with me. Maybe he even thinks Jackie’s going to give him a hard time. He may be right about that. When Chris and I broke the news about our relationship to Jackie shortly after my eighteenth birthday, she wasn’t surprised—she was ecstatic. Something tells me she won’t be so ecstatic to see me with Adam.

“Look. When we go to my foster mother’s house tomorrow, you’re going to have to stay in the truck. I really wish I could introduce you to her, but I just don’t think it’s the right time.”

“Really?”

“Really. She doesn’t know I dropped out. She doesn’t know what happened after I dropped out. And she doesn’t know about you. She’s very protective and opinionated. I have a lot to talk about with her tomorrow. I want to ease her into everything that’s happened. I don’t want her to dislike you just because she’s pissed at me.”

He raises his eyebrows as he keeps his eyes on the road stretched out before us like a silver sword delivering us into the belly of the beast. He’s not pleased with my explanation of why he can’t meet Jackie. But this is only because he doesn’t understand that I’m saving him the grief of too much information. The less he knows about who Jackie is, the less he knows about who Chris is. The less Adam knows about Chris, the less chance he’ll have of being intimidated by the fact that not only is Chris Knight my ex, but I’m the inspiration for so many of the Chris Knight songs he loves.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself to make the biggest mistake I’ve made in a very long time. “Okay. How about this? When we get home tomorrow I’ll tell you everything—but not until then. I just want to enjoy my birthday.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t. I want to.” Just speaking these words aloud dials up the anxiety inside me and I draw in another deep breath. “I need to.”

He reaches across the console and grabs my hand. “I’m ready when you are.”

Chapter Seventeen

Relentless Revelations

WE WALK INTO NORTHSTAR BANK and I instantly remember it. I remember the lobby with the speckled brown tile, the high ceiling, and the enormous wood and glass chandelier. I remember the offices to my left where my mom brought me once when I was six or seven. Did she bring me with her when she set up the trust account?

I walk through the doorway on my left into another small reception area and the receptionist looks up from her computer screen with her eyebrows raised and lips pursed as if my mere presence annoys her.

“Can I help you?” she finally says.

I try not to roll my eyes as I say, “I’m here to see Henry Owens.”

“Is he expecting you?”

“I’m pretty sure he’s been expecting me for thirteen years.”

She picks up her phone and dials an extension. “Henry, you have—”

“Claire Nixon,” I say as she looks up at me questioningly.

“—Claire Nixon here to see you.” She glances at my shorts quickly as she listens to Henry speak. “Got it.” She hangs up and the smug look on her face makes me dread what she’s about to say. “He’s in the middle of something. He said you’ll have to wait a while since you don’t have an appointment.”