“Try to get up,” he said.

I laughed. Pretending for a moment that I actually wanted to get up from my current position, there was no way in hell I would be able to overpower Ian.

“Just try.”

So I did, halfheartedly at first, but once I really started getting into it, I managed to twist myself around so that I was on my stomach. He was still on top of me and still had my legs spread, only now he was pressing his body against mine as I tried to resist. I wiggled my ass against his pelvis and heard him release a grunt. My pulse kicked up a notch as I shuddered at that sensual sound coming from him.

I twisted around again. No matter how careful he was to keep our groin areas apart, my attempts to free myself had me constantly rubbing up against him in a way that should have felt wrong, but felt so very right. At one point, his leg pressed firmly against my pubic bone, and the throbbing was immediate and delicious. I pushed myself into him without even thinking, just wanting some release. I must have stopped struggling because he relaxed his grip, and after a beat, pulled his leg away.

“What the fuck, Kenzie?” His eyes found mine. He rolled off me, looking a little winded.

“What?”

“You’re not even trying.”

Thankful that he didn’t chastise me for seeking friction against him, I kept quiet. We were silent for a few tense seconds, and I wondered if he could hear the dull roar of my pulse thrumming in my neck, or see the desire that had to be written all over my flushed face.

“You take the offensive pose, and I’ll show you some ways to get out of a hold like that.”

I nodded, thankful the tense moment had passed. Now I just needed to find a way to survive the remainder of these lessons without dry humping his leg.

Seventeen

MacKenzie

Alexa grabbed my drink so that I could carry the shots back to our table where Ty, the dutiful designated driver, was sipping a soda. I’d already had a few drinks, so walking was becoming a bit of an adventure.

“I don’t understand why you made us come here,” Alexa said. “Usually girls’ night is a quiet bar these days. Are we celebrating something?”

I shook my head. “Can’t a girl just want to go out dancing with her friends every once in a while? We used to come here all the time. When did nightclubs become criminal activity warranting the third degree?”

She rolled her eyes at me, and we scooted back into our seats.

“Are you guys ready to leave yet?” Ty asked when we sat down.

I laughed. “When did you guys get so old? We just got here. At least let me get a good buzz and a dance in.” I pushed one of the kamikazes in front of Alexa, and we toasted. “To girls’ night.” I downed mine and chased it with beer.

“I’m just saying,” Ty said. “We could have at least gone to the Rainbow Room.”

“We went there last month,” I reminded him. “Besides, it’s a lot easier for me to pick up straight men.” I slapped my hand over my mouth, but it couldn’t put the words back in.

Alexa’s eyes got wide and Ty’s jaw dropped.

“What?” I said. “It’s been a while. I just want to get laid.” It was my standard stock answer, but for some reason tonight it didn’t feel right.

“Don’t you have a boyfriend?” Ty asked.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Chris and I haven’t slept together yet, it’s not official.”

Ty put his hand up as if to stop me. “Isn’t that part of the reason you have a boyfriend? That’s one of the benefits, right? That you have a warm, willing body when you need it?”

I knew they wouldn’t understand, which was why I hadn’t planned on telling them I wanted to get laid tonight. Hell, I was so confused, I hardly understood myself. As I sat there, under their watchful, worried stares, it struck me that this is exactly what the old me would have done. I was feeling sorry for myself, and whenever that happened, I threw myself at the first cute man I saw, drinking and dancing, and maybe more to try and make myself feel better. But a dozen years of the same broken cycle should have taught me that it never actually works that way.

Ian and I had gone over self-defense scenarios all afternoon. It turned out he was a really good teacher, and by the end of the day, I could get out from under him without too much effort. But in the course of my lesson, he’d spent enough time between my legs that I really needed a release. But I couldn’t go to Chris for that. Because once we crossed that bridge, there was no going back.

“So, what’s going on with you and Chris?” Alexa asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“I’m not sure we’re ready to go to the next level yet,” I said.

Alexa leaned forward. “You mean, you aren’t ready. I seriously doubt he has any inhibitions.”

I shrugged and took a swig of my beer. The last shot was hitting me harder than the others, and things were starting to spin a little. Crap.

“I didn’t want to say anything,” Alexa said. “Because I was so glad you were finally dating someone, but are you being fair to Chris? After all, you obviously like…” She paused. “Well, you don’t seem to like Chris that much. And…” She put her fist down on the table. “Fuck it, I’ll say it. You still like Ian. You don’t have to date Ian, but it’s not fair that you lead Chris around when you like someone else.”

I flinched. Alexa had never barked like that at me before.