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Chapter Twelve
Chapter Twelve
They laid Jerry on the tile floor in Ian's lab, his hands on his chest. It was the only way to work on him, apparently. He was unconscious. Cornelius stood at a worktable. He muttered while stirring some things together that he'd pulled out of a purple velvet bag. He paused occasionally to drag Waldo over to point out something.
After each of his lessons, which I guess is what they were, he banged Waldo's head against Ian's workbench as if to get the information into the junior sorcerer's brain. Ian frowned, probably at the dents in his porcelain table, but he didn't say a word. He was too busy furiously taking notes on his computer.
"He looks bad, Gloriana."
"Thanks, Mother. I really needed to hear that right now." I sat on the floor beside Jerry, brushing his damp hair back from his forehead. His fever had spiked again and it was all I could do not to scream at the sorcerer to hurry. They'd pushed ice packs up against Jerry's body but those kept melting and had to be replaced constantly. Finally I heard Cornelius approaching, his silk slippers and robe swishing across the floor. I don't know when he'd changed clothes and didn't care.
"Move." He didn't ask, he commanded.
I got out of the way, jumping up to watch and pray.
Cornelius paced in a circle around Jerry, chanting and tossing some kind of grass or herbs or whatever into the air. They smelled fresh, then bitter. A mist began to form above Jerry, like storm clouds gathering, swirling into a gray mass above his prone body.
I glanced at my mother and gave her a warning look. This wasn't the time for one of her displays of power. If she started to toss thunder and lightning around, I'd never speak to her again. She shook her head and kept her hands folded in front of her, apparently just as interested in the proceedings as Melanie, who darted around for the best angle, capturing the whole thing on video camera.
"All right. Now this is important. He must drink this elixir now." Cornelius was obviously in his element. His eyes glowed, juiced sunbeams, and he raised his arms in their long sleeves toward the clouds he'd created. He began chanting something in a strange language. He gave Waldo, who'd crept closer to observe, a hard look and the incompetent sorcerer scurried back to a spot farther away. Finally Cornelius lowered the glass and faced me.
"You are this man's lover, the person closest to his heart in this room. Is that right? I believe your name is Gloriana?" Cornelius held out a glass beaker etched with symbols. Not one of Ian's I was sure. It held a few inches of a pale pink liquid.
"Yes. Gloriana. I will do whatever you need, sir." I felt like I should bow or something but just nodded, stepping forward. If this would save Jerry, I would do whatever he asked. I felt a whisper in my mind.
"Careful, Gloriana. I have reason now to know these sorcerers can't be trusted."
I turned and glared at my mother. As if I'd listen to her advice. "Go ahead. What do you need me to do?"
Cornelius frowned at my mother, apparently a mind reader too. "Good. You exchange blood with the victim?" He smiled as if this was a good thing. I liked his attitude. No prejudice against vampires here. I took the time to give my mother a "How about that?" look.
"Yes, of course," I said, ignoring my mother's sniff. Had she said "Disgusting"? This time I speared her with a warning glance. I was in no mood to be messed with and she'd better not interrupt again.
"Use this to cut yourself, then allow some of your blood to fall into the glass along with this potion I have mixed. I think it more likely he will drink it if he smells your essence in it." Cornelius handed me a curved blade made of gleaming silver. It had a symbol on the handle, a crescent moon with an open eye staring from the center. Words in some strange language were engraved on the blade.
I didn't hesitate. I slashed my wrist and watched the blood flow into the glass.
My mother gasped. "That's enough. Surely." She rushed forward with a silk scarf and pressed it to my cut, snatching the glass out of my hand.
"Yes. We don't want to dilute the mixture too much." Cornelius patted my shoulder. "I know you meant well, but a few drops from your finger would have served, my dear."
"You think...Will this cure him?" I stood there while my mother tied the scarf around my wrist. It coordinated with my dress of course. Silly detail and so like her. I batted her away when she kept fluttering around me. I was already healing.
"We will see. Perhaps you'd like to give it to him. Speak to him. Coax him to drink." Cornelius stirred the mixture with the blade handle then handed me the glass.
My hand shook as I dropped to my knees and lifted the glass to Jerry's lips. "Jerry, please, wake up. I have something here that I hope will make you feel better." I slid one hand behind his head, holding it up so I could wave the glass under his nose. He was so hot my fingers stung even with his hair cushioning them.
"Smell. This is my blood. You know you want it." I swear his nose twitched. Or had that been my own wishful thinking?
"Let me help you." Ian knelt on Jerry's other side and slid his own hands under Jerry's head. Smart man, Ian wore thick gloves now. "Dip your finger into the beaker and slip it into his mouth. That should get him going. His fever has come down enough that it shouldn't blister you."
"I'll take that chance." I smiled in gratitude and did as Ian suggested. He was being kind. Or was it just the doctor in him anxious to see if this worked? Whichever, I dragged my finger through the mixture and pushed it into Jerry's slack mouth.
Hot. Of course his mouth was hot, but I could take it. Damn it, why didn't he respond? I did it again, rubbing the liquid along his teeth. Finally, finally I felt some movement.
"His fangs are coming down!" I glanced at Ian.
"I see them." Ian helped me hold the glass to Jerry's lips. Together we managed to pour the contents, a little at a time, into his mouth. When some dribbled out, I scooped it up and pushed it back in again. I was determined that Jerry get every single drop, even holding his mouth closed until he swallowed. When the glass was empty, Ian gently laid Jerry's head back on the floor.
"He should have a pillow." I knuckled away a tear. "Why the hell doesn't he have a pillow?"
"Here, Gloriana." My mother handed me a fluffy down pillow clad in an Egyptian cotton case, something that must have come from one of Ian's beds. Ian lifted Jerry's shoulders and together we settled Jerry on it.
"Why isn't he waking up?" I looked around and saw Cornelius, still muttering. He had an ancient leather-bound book in his hand and was paging through it. "Do something!"
"Relax, child. Give it time to work. Feel his forehead. See if the fever is coming down." Cornelius had on old-fashioned spectacles now, perched on the end of his nose. He stabbed a page in the book and moved to the workbench. He said something to Waldo and the man scurried after him.
"What's Cornelius doing, Ian? Shouldn't he be here, checking on his handiwork?" I touched Jerry's cheek. Was it my imagination or did he feel a little cooler? "Take his temperature."
"I will. And, as for Cornelius, now he's working on Campbell's memory problem. He thinks he may have a way to restore his past. I assume that's important to both of you." Ian threw off his gloves, then pulled out his thermometer. He shoved it into Jerry's mouth, then rested the back of his hand on Jerry's forehead. "Feels better, I think. And his foot jerked. I think he's coming around."
"Oh, God, I hope so." I couldn't think about Jerry's memory until I was sure Jerry survived this thing. The thermometer signaled and Ian pulled it out. "What does it say?"
"He's better." Ian grabbed Jerry's jaw. "Wake up, Campbell. Talk to him, Glory." He tapped Jerry's cheeks, harder than I thought necessary. I shoved Ian's hands aside.
"I will if you move." I leaned down and kissed Jerry softly. "Please, wake up, Jeremiah. I need you." I kissed his cheeks then his eyelids. I felt them flutter against my lips. "He's coming around!" His eyes opened and he stared up at me.
"Gloriana? What happened?" He closed his eyes again. "Head hurts."
"That's only natural after a fever like that. I have something I could give him for it, but I think we should wait to see what Cornelius comes up with." Ian touched Jerry's shoulder. "Campbell, hold up your hand."
"Leave me alone, MacDonald." Jerry turned his head toward me.
"Do it, Jerry. Ian is trying to see if the sorcerer's potion got rid of your flaming fingers." I wasn't about to test his hands myself. At least his mouth hadn't burned mine. "Jerry, will you touch something? For a test?"
He squinted up at me. "What do you want me to touch?"
"Here." Ian handed me a piece of newspaper.
"Put your hand on this, Jer. If it doesn't burst into flames, you're all good." I grabbed his arm and aimed his hand at the paper.
"I can do it, Gloriana, I'm not helpless." He sat up, groaning. Then he snatched the paper and crumpled it in his fist. We all waited while he held it in his palm. Nothing. Not a wisp of smoke.
"Genius. I certainly know who to call the next time I need a potion." My mother stood close by. "Cornelius, I need your number." She whipped out a cell phone, ready to punch it into her contact list.
"I try not to do business with anyone from Olympus, Your Highness." Cornelius bowed toward her but kept mixing. "Look what a mess Mr. Campbell is in right now. All because of your 'games.'"
"Well! I'd not call them games. With Waldo, yes. But Gloriana..." She lifted her chin in a gesture I'd used myself a thousand times. "I wanted my daughter with me. Is that so wrong?"
Cornelius threw a powder in the air and I smelled brimstone. Trust me, I recognized it. I'd had some bad dealings with Lucifer himself. "Next time you want something, examine your methods, Your Highness." He went back to work.
"Listen, Sorcerer." Thunder cracked and she flushed. "Are you trying to tell me...?"
"Mother, he's right. With all your scheming, your plans didn't pan out. Your sorcerer screwed you over. Learn from it. Now let Cornelius work. If he can give Jerry his memory back, maybe you have a shot at a relationship with me. Otherwise..." I couldn't take my eyes off of Jerry, who was flexing his fingers as if checking them for damage. Knowing him, he probably wanted to toss a knife around to see if he still had his old accuracy. I glanced at Ian, happily making notes on his computer. Not a good idea. I could see a pair of guards nearby. They were never far away.
"You are being very bossy this evening, Gloriana. I don't like it." My mother sat in a chair and gave herself a new outfit, one she must have decided suited the occasion better than an evening gown. Now she wore a severe navy suit that made her look like a professional woman. Of course it also showed off her perfect figure and she hadn't bothered to wear a blouse underneath. The single button was placed so that she showed plenty of cleavage and just a hint of bare midriff. I turned my back on her, sick of her theatrics, and helped Jerry to his feet.
"How are you feeling, love?"
"Like I've been hell's gatekeeper at the fiery furnace. I had no idea a man could feel so hot and still survive. Let's go outside where it's cooler." Jerry put his arm around me and headed for the terrace doors.
"Go ahead." Ian looked up from where he and Melanie were now seemingly fascinated by the playback of the video they'd taken of the exorcism or whatever you called what Cornelius had done to Jerry. "Don't leave, though. We may soon be able to solve your bigger problem, Campbell."
"Don't worry. If there's any hope I'll get my memory back, you couldn't run me off with the entire MacDonald army." Jerry pushed open the French door, then collapsed on a chaise lounge. Ian's home had a lake view and the night was cool and clear. "God, but I don't think I've ever felt worse, not even when I took a spear in my gut during a Viking raid."
"I was scared, Jerry." I snuggled up next to him, then thought maybe he'd like to put on more than those boxers which probably belonged to Ian. "You want your clothes?"
"Not yet. Let me just cool off awhile longer. Everyone here has already seen me naked so this is an improvement, I'd say." He wrapped his arms around me and ran his hands down my back. "For a while there I thought I might not ever get to do this again."
I shuddered. "I know. Stupid Waldo. I want to go inside and kick him myself. I wonder if it was incompetence or if he was bribed to betray her."
"I saw your mother shoot him again with her lightning. She knows how to get the truth out of a fellow. Either way, Waldo will think twice before he deals with her again." Jerry chuckled.
"You think that's funny?" I stared at him. "Brain damage. I'll have to ask Ian about it."
"It's laugh or throw myself off this cliff in front of us."
I glanced at the forty-foot drop to the lake. "Okay, laugh all you want. When you get your memory back, we can have a laugh riot." I laid my head on his chest and listened to the slow but steady beat of his heart. So close. I'd been way too close to losing him. I heard someone clear his throat.
"I have consulted the books and questioned the idiot who mixed the original potion that caused your amnesia, Mr. Campbell. I think I have a solution." Cornelius held out a glass vial filled with a dark blue liquid. "There are no guarantees. I know it won't turn you into a billy goat, which is what Waldo's next cure would have done." Big sigh. "And allowing for your vampire nature, I am fairly certain it won't kill you." He almost smiled. "Now drink it down and we'll see what happens."
"Perhaps I should just live like this. No memories. A fresh start." Jerry took the vial like he was handling a poisonous snake. "I'm not sure I have much confidence in sorcery after what I just barely lived through."
"Come now. Waldo is a third-degree sorcerer. A mere trainee. Barely qualified to turn princes into toads." Cornelius glanced at me. "What do you say, Gloriana? Do you want your man to remember his past or to stay the way he is?"
What a loaded question. Of course Jerry should have his memories back. The gaps he'd railed about earlier tonight were driving him mad. Driving. He needed to remember how to do that at the very least. And I wasn't such a coward that I'd rather he stay lost in a fog than face my infidelities, was I?
"It's up to you, Jerry, but I know you want to remember everything you can. You've been furious at your lack of knowledge." I waved my hand around - at Ian's place, the computer nearby, up to where a plane streaked across the night sky. "As long as Cornelius thinks it will work, I think you should go for it. He certainly proved he knows his stuff when he cured you of the Hellfire spell." I stood and stared into the sorcerer's strange eyes. "Really, no bad consequences?"
"Unlikely. But, as I said, no guarantees either. It may do no good at all." He pushed his hands into one of his robe pockets and pulled out a round mirror trimmed in bronze vines. The handle formed into a loop that he held in one hand. "Let me see if I can predict..." He stared into it, his pumpkin-colored eyes losing focus. "Hmm. I see you alone, Mr. Campbell, driving a car." He blinked and smiled. "A good portent, I think."
Was it? Or had the slippery sorcerer just read my mind again? I gave him a narrowed-eyed look but Jerry sat up and swung his legs down to the deck.
"I'll take it! As it stands now, Gloriana must drive me everywhere." Jerry smiled at me. "Wish me luck?"
"Of course." I held my breath as he downed the inky liquid in a single swallow.
"Tastes like shit." He made a face. "Warm in my stomach, though." He pressed a hand to his forehead. "I have to lie down." He fell back on the chaise. "Cornelius, the world is spinning."
"That's all right, Mr. Campbell. Your brain is searching for your memories. Let it do its work. Close your eyes and try to relax." Cornelius laid his hand on my arm when I started to speak. "Leave him be, Gloriana. This should take a few minutes. I'm going to get Dr. MacDonald. He'll want to see this in action. You are not like your mother, I can see that. If you ever need me..." He slipped a card out of his sleeve. "My unlisted number."
Well, that was a surprise. I tucked it into my bra before I sat on a chair across from Jerry. Use a sorcerer? If Cornelius could pull off this miracle, I'd definitely add him to my contact list. Of course I hoped I'd never need him or any of his magical powers again.
I stared at Jerry hard, as if I could will that potion to work. His chest rose and fell, like a runner's after a hard race. Hyperventilating. His fists clenched. What was happening in his mind? Was he watching a movie in his head? Did he see his life unscroll before his eyes? Could he be reliving every single event of the last four hundred years? The good and the bad? I saw him wince, then smile. This went on and on. At one point he moaned, then gritted his teeth. What could have caused that? A chuckle, a sigh of satisfaction. I wanted to read his mind and even tried but I came up empty. I was well and truly blocked out from whatever he was going through.
I sensed someone beside me. Ian, then my mother stood there. Jerry wouldn't like such an audience. I shooed her away and she went back inside. Of course the doctor wouldn't budge.
"This is fascinating."
"And frustrating. I wish he'd wake up." I leaned forward, desperate to help Jerry through this but able to do nothing, not even to touch him, even though I tried. It was as if the sorcerer had put a shield around him. Any move toward Jerry left my head spinning, like I would pass out. I stopped trying.
"He was mad at you when he left here, wasn't he? When he headed back to the old country?" Ian sounded happy about that. Bastard.
"When I got to the castle, before he lost his memory, Jerry was glad to see me. He'd forgiven me." I refused to look at Ian.
"Good for you. Hopefully he'll remember that part. Of course he may not know everything you were up to after he left. Does he?" Ian pulled up another chair.
"There was no need to bother him with that when he had amnesia, Ian. And you'd better not get into it either." My stomach leapfrogged into my throat. Ian knew all about my affair with Ray. Ray was addicted to Ian's daylight drug and he'd made a special trip over here just so he could clue Ian in to our hookup before I'd left town.
Ian smiled, happy to have some dirt he could use against me. "Relax, Gloriana. I don't plan to exchange gossip with Blade." He leaned forward in his chair. "But if he ever asks me about your relationship with Caine, I won't lie for you."
I didn't need to hear this now. Not when Jerry was on the brink of remembering his life. Or at least I hoped he was.
"I get it. Jerry and I will work it out. Just stay out of my business." I went back to watching Jerry, who was still twitching and making faces. God, what was he going through?
"Blade had better hurry with this rewind. We've got less than an hour before dawn. If he stays out here, he's fried." Ian looked up at the sky.
"If he's not done by then, your men will have to drag him inside to a safe place for his death sleep and you know it." I did finally face Ian. "The feud is over, remember?"
"Of course. I helped save his life tonight, didn't I? Something I won't share with my brother. I don't know what Campbell said to Douglas but it was almost enough for Dougie to call off the truce. Seems this amnesia made your lover into even more of a bastard than usual." He shook his head. "Care to share, Gloriana?"
"No. Jerry wasn't himself. When he has his mind back in the present, he'll realize the truce was for the best. Both of you know it was a ridiculous waste of energy." I sighed. This was taking too long! "And thank you for what you did. Send Jerry a bill. I assured him this was a business transaction, not a favor."
"It's not that simple. I'll explain it to him when he comes to his senses." Ian ignored my suspicious look. Then I noticed the cell phone he was holding.
"Are you taking video of this? Right now?"
"It's for science, Glory. Of course I am. Look at his face. Makes you wonder what's going on inside his head, doesn't it?" He'd been surreptitious; now he held it up for a better shot. "I wish Cornelius would share his formula."
"This is an invasion of Jerry's privacy, Ian. He didn't give you permission to take all these pictures."
"He was awake when we taped him before and didn't object. I'm taking that as a tacit agreement. This is priceless. I need this film for my archives. No one will see it except fellow scientists." He stood. "Look! I think he's coming out of it. Get ready, Glory. Old Jeremiah or new Jeremy? I hope you know which one you want."
I hoped I did too. Whichever one I got, I had to be ready to deal with him.
Jerry opened his eyes and looked around. "Where the hell am I?"
Uh-oh. Was this a new onset of amnesia? Had he forgotten what had just happened?
"You're at Ian MacDonald's, Jerry. Don't you remember? You were under a spell. Ian's a doctor and arranged for a sorcerer to cure you." I was close by Jerry's side in an instant. The shield was down and I could touch him.
"Of course." He rubbed his forehead. "What a night. And, God save me, I'm lying here in Ian's underwear." He frowned at the doctor who stood behind me, taking this all in with his camera phone. "What the hell? Put that phone down. What's that for? Planning to put my picture on the Internet? Make me a laughingstock?"
"No, it's for my archives." Ian put the phone away. "Internet? What do you remember, Campbell? Did the new spell work? Are you cured?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Jerry smiled grimly. "Can we get the hell out of here, Gloriana?"
"No! I mean, please answer Ian, Jerry. I have to know the answer too." I put out my hand when he stood but he shrugged off the help. "What do you remember?"
"Let's see. I remember you arriving at Castle Campbell, determined to make things up with me." He pulled me to him. "I was more than ready to let bygones be bygones since I'd missed the hell out of you." He dropped a kiss on my lips. "Then I was stabbed. By Mara of all people. I've got a bit of a blur there but seems to me you told me your mother arranged that. So I'd forget you. And it worked for a while."
"God, Jerry!" I threw my arms around him. "You remember. Cornelius!" I looked around for him but both he and Waldo had vanished. "Oh, he's gone. Anyway, a sorcerer Ian summoned found the cure. For a Hellfire curse and your memory loss." I couldn't quit smiling. "Really, you remember everything?"
He suddenly put me from him. "Indeed. What's she doing here?" He stalked over to where my mother stood just inside the terrace doors. "She-devil! How dare you show your face here! Where are my weapons?" Jerry looked around and picked up a heavy metal ashtray.
"Not a wise idea." My mother lifted her hand and Jerry was frozen. "Gloriana and I have arranged a truce, just as your clan and the MacDonald clan have. I'd advise you to rein in your temper, Jeremiah, before you lose more than your memory this time. I can make your manhood vanish like that vase over there." She flicked her wrist and a blue and white vase disappeared. We all gasped, even Ian. "How will Gloriana like you then?"
"Mother, release him. And stop with the threats!" I grabbed her arm, sick to my stomach at the thought of what she was capable of. "Give him time to adjust to things."
"You promised we could have a relationship, Gloriana. If he and I are both to be in your life, then he must learn to respect me." She threw back her shoulders, not wise when you only have a single button on a jacket. I didn't bother to tell her she was exposing one of her boobs. Let her embarrass herself. Or not. She still wouldn't let Jerry move, though the ashtray he'd been holding vanished.
Ian and Melanie just watched. They weren't stupid, and she was clearly not in a mood to be messed with. I sent them both a mental message that their best move right now was to stay quiet and observe like the good scientists they were.
"Mother, you didn't cure Jerry, Ian did. I'm not sure there's a reason you could give me that would allow you a place in my life." I glared at her. "Now let him go."
"Not until we work this out." She smiled at Ian. "I must say thank you, Doctor. I know how these sorcerers conduct their business. You had to promise a future favor to Cornelius for him to work that last spell. I'm sure he doesn't come cheap."
"No, he doesn't." Ian moved closer. Which showed how much he listened to me. He touched Jerry on the shoulder. "Let the poor bastard go. Hasn't he suffered enough tonight? Gloriana, I think you're going to have to let your mother see you occasionally. Can't you see that she only wants to share in her daughter's life?" He bowed to her. "Beautiful lady, I'd be more than happy to make my home available if you need a place to stay while in Austin."
My mother's eyes sparkled with interest. Great. Now she and Ian were setting up a flirtation. I wasn't going to bother to warn him anymore. He was a big boy and partied at his own risk.
"Ian, you have no idea what my mother's idea of sharing is." I really didn't need his advice. I was so over this whole scene though and knew Jerry had to be sick of standing there in Ian's underwear like a damned statue. "Mother, thaw Jerry out and disappear at the same time. I want to take him home. Now. I'll text you when we can meet again. Is that enough for you?"
"Fine." Mother smiled at Ian. "I'll be seeing you, Doctor. I can tell we might have a few things in common. An appreciation for the beautiful and rare." A priceless antique table appeared where his other one had been burned, the pieces obviously swept away by a servant earlier. "Gloriana, I expect to hear from you soon, very soon. Or I will be dropping by. And it might not be at a time convenient for you. Are we clear?"
"Yes, now go!" I suffered through one of her hugs. She vanished just as Jerry began to move.
"Where are my clothes?"
"In the bathroom." Ian smiled at Melanie. "Show him."
"No, I'll find them myself." Jerry charged down the hall. In moments we heard a roar. "Where the hell are my knives?"
Ian laughed. "Did he really think I would let him keep a weapon around me? Old Jeremiah Campbell or new Jeremy Blade, I was taking no chances."
Jerry stormed into the living room, fully dressed. "Well, are you giving them back?"
"They are in your car, Blade. That is what you go by these days." Ian smiled.
"And you'll send me a bill for tonight. I have no desire to owe you, MacDonald." Jerry held out his hand, surprisingly steady considering what he'd been through. "Car keys, Gloriana. I am itching to drive again. I can't believe I was so damned helpless for so long."
"You hated it." I dropped the keys in his hand.
"Just a minute." Ian stepped in front of us when we headed for the door. "You will get a bill, but that's not all you'll owe me, Blade. Sorcerers deal in favors as Gloriana's mother pointed out. Cornelius required a promise of one in order to come here. Then a second one for the restoration of your memory." Ian's smile was wolfish. "So you see you'll still owe me, Blade. When I need a favor, I'll be calling on you. Never doubt it."
I saw Jerry's jaw tighten. This was a matter of honor and, old or new, he always paid his debts. "Very well. I won't deny the amnesia was driving me mad." He nodded at Melanie. "Thank you both. Good night."
At the car he held the door for me but stopped me before I could slide into the seat.
"Gloriana." He pulled me against him and breathed into my hair.
"Yes, Jerry?" My heart pounded. What was this? The kiss-off as all those memories of my transgressions plus the fact that I had a mother who could make his life disappear added up to reason enough to let me go?
"I know I wasn't easy to live with these past weeks."
"Well, I'll not deny I won't miss the ancient warrior." I touched his dark brow with a fingertip. "Over the years, you'd turned into a modern man I admired. A clever businessman, a brilliant lover, I could go on."
"And wasn't ancient Jeremiah a brilliant lover as well?"
"I'll never tell." I couldn't stop smiling. This teasing meant all was well, didn't it? Then he got solemn.
"I will never be able to thank you enough for what you've done for me. I remember how difficult I was. How I hurt you. My only excuse is that I lashed out at the person closest to me. The woman I love." He ran a hand through his hair. "Shit. That's no excuse. Just please know how sorry I am. You deserve better." He leaned down and kissed me then. I sighed into his mouth, held on and tried to absorb him into my own skin. He was back. No matter what happened, I had all of him with me now. We would deal with what came next together.