“Thank you,” she says softly.

“You don’t need to thank me for stealing your candy.” I nibble on her shoulder.

The chime of the door opening reminds me we’re not alone.

“For the love of PDA, give this poor kid a break.” Violet gestures to the cashier, who has turned a bright shade of red. “Do you two need ten minutes in the forest before we hit the road, or do you think you can make it another hour?”

I back up off Lily. “We’ll manage.”

“Just making sure. Oh! You got me Swedish Fish! I love you, Lily Pad!” Violet pushes her way between us and drapes an arm over Lily’s shoulder.

“Call me that again and I’ll eat the entire bag in front of you, and I won’t share,” Lily snaps.

Violet raises her hands. “Sorry. I thought it was cute. Maybe not?”

Based on Lily’s comment, I’m going with not, which means I’m going to call her that later tonight in bed, just to get her all fired up.

The kid behind the counter packs the snacks into a bag.

Violet nabs the chips. “Who asked for these?”

“Charlene.”

She frowns and looks over her shoulder to the parking lot. Charlene is sitting sideways in the truck, and Darren’s standing between her legs. They appear to be having a conversation.

“I guess it’s her prerogative if she only wants it doggy-style this weekend.”

The kid behind the counter coughs.

I finish paying for the goods, and we all head back out to the vehicles. Violet tosses the bag of Doritos to Charlene, whose eyes widen as Darren’s expression darkens. He says one last thing to her and steps back. Shifting her legs so they’re back in the truck, he closes the door. The window’s open, so she grabs his sleeve before he can walk away. He doesn’t look particularly amused as he turns back to her, but he sticks his head in the window.

“I seriously wonder what the deal is there,” I say.

Lily threads her fingers through mine. “Yeah. Me, too.”

“I hope they’re not gonna fight all weekend.”

“I don’t know that they fight.” She kisses my bicep.

“What do you call that?” I incline my head in their direction.

“I think it’s a game, like cat and mouse. I just can’t figure out who’s the cat and who’s the mouse.”

It’s an interesting observation. But I still hope it’s not a sign of what the rest of the weekend is going to be like. I don’t need their weird drama affecting my good time.

3

HOW TO REVIVE

A BOYFRIEND

LILY

 

As I approach, Darren walks away from the truck holding the bag of Doritos. He’s smirking, which is uncommon for him. I glance at Charlene to find she’s wearing a similar look. I don’t ask, because I’m not sure I want to know what the fascination is with Doritos. To my knowledge, all they do is make your breath horrible.

Back on the road, Violet sits beside me, fiddling with the music while Sunny rifles through the snacks and tries one of everything—apart from the beef jerky, which is mine. She’s kind enough to open the bag for me, though. That’s new. In addition to not touching or eating meat, Sunny usually opens a window when meat products are nearby, as if the molecules will somehow infiltrate her body through smell.

Violet gives up on finding a clear station and chooses a playlist on her phone. It’s The Tragically Hip, my favorite Canadian band—perfect cottage music.

She turns to Charlene. “So what’s the deal with the Doritos?”

“Huh?” Charlene stops fingering her necklace and looks up from her phone.

“Why would you want to ruin your weekend by eating Doritos? Or is Darren a bad kisser and that’s your way of making sure you don’t have to make out with him?”

“Darren’s an excellent kisser.”

“Uh-huh. Sure. So why the stinky-breath chips?” Violet asks.

“They aren’t in the truck, are they?” Sunny looks concerned.

“Darren took them,” I say.

“Oh. That’s good. Otherwise I’d want to eat them, and then I wouldn’t be able to make out with Miller later, and that would be sad.” Sunny blinks a few times, like she’s fighting tears.

Pregnancy has made her extra emotional. Lately she’s been crying at bathroom tissue commercials. And her volunteer position at the SPCA has resulted in the foster wiener dog snuggled up beside me. He’s so freaking cute, but they already have two dogs, and a baby on the way. I don’t know that they need more things to take care of.

“I guess you’re not getting your freak on all that often anymore, what with the volleyball you’re packing,” Violet muses.

“We only have sex five or six times a week now,” Sunny says wistfully.

“Only?” Charlene seems shocked.

“Miller likes morning sex, and I like night sex, so we switch back and forth. Except we take a day off a week. That’s Miller’s cookie-eating day.”

Violet opens her mouth and then shuts it. Her cheeks puff out. She gestures to Sunny’s tummy. “I just—isn’t it uncomfortable?”

Sunny pats her stomach. “Well, we can’t really do missionary anymore, but Miller knows how to make me feel good.”

“Amen to that, sister!” Charlene gives her a high five.

“Says the woman who was planning to eat a bag of Doritos,” Violet points out.

“I was never going to eat them. I wanted Darren to think I was. Sex tonight is going to be amazing.” Charlene has a wicked gleam in her eye.

Violet shakes her head. “And you think I’m weird.”

“You dress up Alex’s dick like a superhero; you are weird,” Charlene counters.

“She’s right about that being odd,” Sunny agrees.

“Whatever. Alex doesn’t mind, and it keeps things interesting.”

Charlene says something, but I don’t catch it.

They continue to debate the oddness of Violet’s penchant for dressing up Alex’s penis. I stay out of the conversation, because as much as I agree that it’s strange, I’ve considered doing something similar to Randy. He’s got a scar that makes his cock look like it’s smiling when it’s hard and frowning when it’s soft.