I look away just in time to see Kyle walking back towards me, drink in hand. My eyes travel the length of him. His blue polo shirt fits him well and shows off some of his best assets. Broad shoulders, defined chest, strong arms. The designer jeans he’s wearing hugs his legs and I’m sure if he had to turn around, it would show off another one of his ass-ets. I snicker at my inside joke.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, amused. Realizing he heard me makes me blush, but I manage to keep it cool. “Your ex-girlfriend.” I reply, taking the blue cup from his grasp. I bring it up to my lips, tasting the harsh liquid and feeling it burn all the way down my throat. It’s disgusting. But after the third or fourth cup I won’t taste it anymore.

Kyle frowns. “I didn’t even know Kimber was here,” he lies easily. Of course he knows. Kimber would have made sure of it.

I shrug. Bringing my cup back to my lips, I watch Kyle over the rim as I take another gulp, and another, until it’s finished. Kyle’s eyes never leave mine and when he licks his lips I have to stop myself from mimicking him.

“You want another one?” he asks, taking our empty cups and placing them on a nearby table. Instead of answering, I step closer, liquid courage coursing through my veins, and take his hand.

“Dance with me,” I say softly. His hand tightens around mine and he leads us onto the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the giant living room. Eyes fall on us and I tense. The attention I’m used to getting is usually the kind that takes place behind closed doors, or in the backseat of a car, not in public. I feel Kyle’s chest pressed firmly against my back.

“Relax,” he breathes against my neck. “Let go.”

His hands rest on my hips and the way his fingertips press into my skin makes me shiver. Our bodies start moving, our hips bumping and grinding to the beat of the music. I push my ass into Kyle’s crotch and rub it back and forth over his growing hard on. He sucks in a breath, and I stifle a moan. This is what I want. I crave the physical connection like lungs crave air. One song bleeds into another and we keep dancing until the room gets hot and my skin is damp. Brushing my dark hair to the side, Kyle lowers his head until his lips brush against my ear.

“Let’s go upstairs,” he whispers. My head is swimming, from both, the alcohol I’ve had and my need to get lost in this carnal connection. “I want you, Hayley,” he breathes into my ear. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

I turn around to face him. His eyes are dark, determined. I’m fairly certain he just said that to get into my pants but I can’t judge him for that. I’m planning on using him for the same thing. “Okay,” I say. I ignore the pang in my chest. I always feel that way before.

Kyle grabs my hand and starts pulling me through the mass of people, which seems to have doubled since I arrived. The clock on the wall reads 11pm but I doubt the party will abate any time soon. Guys stop to talk to Kyle but he brushes them off, the same way he does to the girls who throw themselves at him. He leads me up the marble staircase and only lets my hand go when we reach his bedroom door. He ushers me into his room, his hand on the small of my back, and closes the door. With every step he takes towards me I feel the sexual tension intensify. For a brief second Kyle hesitates, and I can see the indecision in his eyes and on his face. He seems to recover from whatever conflict he felt a second ago because he closes the gap between us in one stride. The silence between us stretches and I think we both know words are not necessary. Talking would only make it awkward, forcing us to pretend that this is more than a simple exchange. He only asked me to come to this party for one reason, why make it something it isn’t?

He swallows, leaning down until his soft lips brush against mine. His tongue leaves a blazing trail on my bottom lip and I open up, welcoming him. Our lips move against each other, our tongues twisting as we taste each other. I taste the beer on his breath but the anticipation of feeling with only my body overshadows it. His hands grab my hips roughly as he pushes me onto his bed. He climbs over me, his lips crashing into mine again. I claw at his clothes, our hands removing every piece of fabric, every barrier, until we’re both naked. Like all the times before this, I push all emotions away, focusing on nothing but the physical.

“Fuck,” Kyle breathes harshly. “I don’t think I have a condom.”

I think about it for a minute. I’ve never had sex without one but I’ve often wondered what it felt like. I’m on the pill, so we should be fine. A voice pops up in my head telling me what a bad idea this is but I reason with it, arguing that, with graduation around the corner, this gets to be one last hooray. After tonight, I will get to start over and pretend that the last year of my life hasn’t been filled with parties and meaningless sex. I never have to see Kyle or anyone else from this wretched, soul sucking place ever again. So why not go out with a bang. Literally.

“It’s okay,” I say. “We’re good.”

“But I’ve never gone without one,” he contends.

I look him in the eye. “Neither have I. But I’m on the pill, so we’re good.”

He settles between my legs and I feel the tip of his cock tease my entrance. “Tell me you want this,” Kyle breathes heavily with gritted teeth. “Tell me you want me to do this to you.”

“Yes,” I breathe. I bite my lip and close my eyes when I feel him push in. I wrap my legs around him and he lowers himself onto me. I welcome the weighty feeling, and the fullness. Kyle doesn’t look at me as he thrusts deeper and deeper. He tucks his face into my neck and I find that I don’t mind it. This is all I wanted. It helps me forget about the parents who don’t love me and only use me as a pawn when they see fit. I can’t even say I’m a trophy daughter anymore, because I made sure to ruin that image good and proper. Maybe I am a slut, or a whore, but when it’s nothing but my body connecting with another, everything else fades away. I’ve managed to replace emotional things like affection and love with the feeling of sexual and physical gratification. It’s fucked up. But it works for me.

Kyle quickens his pace, his hot breath fanning the inside of my neck. His muscles tense and I know he’s close. Lifting his weight slightly, I take the chance to slip my hand between our bodies and start rubbing my clit. The quicker Kyle moves his hips, the quicker my hand moves, and it’s not long before we both moan our release.

“Fuck, Hayley,” Kyle sighs, rolling off me and catching his breath. “I wasn’t expecting it to be so…”

“Good?” I finish for him. “What? You didn’t ask your buddies how it is before you invited me here?” I sit up quickly and grab the nearest item of clothing to cover myself up.

His brows furrow. “No, Hayls. Do you think that’s why I invited you? So that I could just have sex with you?”

“Yes.” I reply honestly. Kyle looks away from me and I know I’ve caught him.

“Look, Hayley, I -” I put my hand up, interrupting him mid-sentence.

“Don’t, Kyle. I know the drill. I used you just as much as you used me and now it’s over.”

I jump off the bed and start gathering my clothes. Kyle doesn’t move from the bed while I dress, but when I look up again he’s standing in front of me, wearing only his jeans.