Instead of sleeping, I lay there and forced myself to stay put until I heard her breathing even out. It was getting ridiculous. All the back and forth with Patience was making my head spin, and to top it off, I felt like my balls were about to explode.

I got up, grabbed something to eat, and then took a hot shower. I was sure to soap up and use my hand to get some relief. Hopefully getting off one good time would help with my crazed Patience hormones. I had to find a girl from my world to have sex with. That’s all it boiled down to.

When I got out of the shower, I dried off, threw on some clothes, and then went back into my room to check on Patience. She was still sleeping peacefully, and had I not heard her crying the night before, I still would’ve known from the puffiness around her eyes. She turned onto her back and the covers shifted and revealed a soft leg and my gray boxers. They were big on her and had shifted throughout the night so her white panties were showing.

I reached over to pull the cover back over and her eyes popped open. She leaned up on her elbows, looked around the room, and then seemed to remember the night before.

“Good morning, sunshine,” I said blandly, as I searched through my sock drawer. “It’s about time you woke up. You want to grab a shower before I take you home?”

She sat up with sleepy eyes and disheveled hair. She looked amazing and all I wanted to do was climb under the warm covers with her.

“I’ll just grab one when I get home. Let me get my clothes on and rinse my mouth out.”

She went into the bathroom and came out minutes later wearing her clothes from the night before. I grabbed my guitar and we left. The ride to her house was a quiet one and when I stopped a few houses down from hers, she opened the door and got out. Before I could pull away, she leaned down into the window.

“Thanks,” she said with a tiny smile.

It was a single word, but it sounded so final that my stomach ached.

“No worries.”

I watched as she walked away from my car, and then I pulled off and didn’t look back.

I spent the entire day Sunday at Finn’s house, but when a joint was passed my way, I turned it down. The appeal of getting high just wasn’t there. Every now and again, I’d think to myself that weed could never get me as high as Patience did in my bed, but as soon as the thought would enter my mind, I’d squash it.

“Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Finn asked after I played the wrong chord for the tenth time. “We’ve been playing for years and I’ve never heard you screw up like this. You did it the other night at The Icehouse, too. You’re not snorting that shit, are you?”

“Nah, man, I want to slow down, not speed up. I just have a lot on my mind I guess.”

Thankfully, the guys let it drop, but I was seriously having a hard time concentrating since Chet decided to bring Megan to practice. Every time she lifted her phone to text, I wondered if it was my snowflake on the other end.

I stumbled into my house at close to midnight, drunk out of my mind. My old man was waiting at the door when I got there. I was too drunk to remember most of the beating, but the next morning when I woke up for school, my lip was swollen and there was blood smeared all over my face. Apparently, I didn’t block too well when wasted.

Patience didn’t come to community service for the entire week, and though I swore it had nothing to do with the fact that she wasn’t there, the week was the worst I’d had in a while. When Friday night practice rolled around, I gave in and asked Megan about her. I tried to play it off like I was glad she wasn’t around aggravating me, but really I was worried. It didn’t seem like her to disappear from the face of the Earth.

“Where’s your girl Patience? Why isn’t she around getting in the way?” I asked Megan as I tuned my guitar.

“What’s wrong, Zeke? You pissed you didn’t get in them panties?” Tiny laughed.

I glared over at him. “She’s not my type.”

“Whatever, dude. Your type is female and she was all female,” Chet said, earning a pissed-off look from Megan.

“She’s been sick. The flu I think. She missed school all week too. I haven’t seen her since that night at The Icehouse and she’s hasn’t really texted me either.” She shrugged. “It’s weird. Patience never gets sick, but I think she’s okay.”

None of it sat well with me. Patience missing school and Boy’s Club didn’t seem like her. Maybe she really was sick, but my gut instinct that came around at the wrong times told me she wasn’t. I tried to push it out of my mind.