I felt a whoosh in my belly at his words, like the feeling you get when the roller coaster you’re on plunges down the biggest dip on the track. “I do trust you. I’m just …” I looked away.

“You’re just?”

“Not used to feeling jealous,” I said.

Aidan was silent, and I continued to look out the window, afraid I’d put him off completely. Did I seem childish, naïve, possessive?

“At least you’re jealous of the living, Nora,” he said. “I’m fucking jealous of a dead man.”

My head whipped around to him, shock slackening my features. He was tense, uncomfortable, but he held my eyes.

“I’ve never cared enough before to be jealous. I’m not the type. But I’ve been jealous of Jim from the moment he led you out of that pub. I was jealous of him in that supermarket when you brushed your hair off your face and I saw his ring on your finger.”

“You didn’t even know me then.”

“No, but I wanted you. And it pissed me off that you were so young and you were already married. It didn’t seem right. Or fair. But I understand now that I know you. I would have stolen you away too, made you mine so no one else could have you.”

As beautiful as that sounded, I was also choked with guilt and sadness. “Don’t feel jealous of Jim, Aidan. I loved him for three years but I was never in love with him. He had female friends, some who flirted with him, and I never batted an eyelash. I never feared one of them taking him from me. Toward the end, I wanted it to happen. I wanted him to fall in love with someone else and leave me so I didn’t have to be the bad guy anymore.

“Laine curled her fingers into your T-shirt when she hugged you, and it was enough to make me want to throw a beer in her face. And that was before she insulted me.” I gave him a wobbly grin, not quite meeting his eyes, my fingers trembling around my bottle of water at my confession.

“Nora, look at me.”

His voice was thick with emotion and that more than his demand made me respond. “I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. Aye, I want you in my bed, so much it’s painful, but it’s more than that. I just want you. Here. Talking with me. In my life. Knowing I can pick up the phone and call you or touch you whenever I want. Never have I felt that way with anyone. We clear?”

We were so clear, my body reacted. My nipples hardened, tight points beneath my bra, shivers cascaded down my spine, and I wanted some part of him between my legs more than I wanted most things in this world.

The sound of Sylvie’s faint voice in the background, however, kept me from launching myself at him. So much for going slow. “We’re clear.”

“We should probably talk about something else,” he grumbled, shifting as though uncomfortable and I guessed he was as aroused as I was.

Knowing Sylvie would douse the fire somewhat, I said, “How adorable was it that Sylvie didn’t want to go back to school because she didn’t want to make you sad?”

Aidan shot me a grateful look. “Aye, she can be sweet when she’s not full of cheek.”

I laughed. “She’s smart.”

“Too smart.”

“Remember you said there’s no such thing,” I argued.

He grinned. “So I did.”

“Are you talking about me?” Sylvie suddenly appeared in the hallway by the kitchen.

Aidan looked over his shoulder at her. “Why would we be talking about you?”

“I heard my name.”

“We were talking about you going back to school.”

“Yeah?” She hurried over and threw herself on the couch between us. “When do I go back?”

And just like that, her presence calmed the tension between Aidan and me.

Later that evening as I lay in bed, having gotten home via the taxi Aidan insisted I take, I thought about this epic thing between him and me. It was epic. I didn’t even know it was possible to have so much feeling for one person. To be pulled toward him like it was completely out of my control. To want to see him every day and bury my skin against his and let the fire consume us.

And to know that he felt the same way only emphasized the power of my attraction.

I knew the smart thing to do was to take things slowly, to really get to know each other beyond the natural chemistry between us. But my God, it was going to be so much harder to slow down that I’d thought.

“So, what is it you really want to do with your life?”

I was caught off guard by the abrupt question. Aidan and I had ordered and as the waiter walked away, I settled into my chair to enjoy our first evening alone together in a while.

He leaned his elbows on the table, ducking his head to stare into my eyes in that intensely focused way that made me feel like the only person in the world. “I mean, if you’re happy working at Apple Butter, great, but you’re smart, Nora. I can’t imagine it’s enough for you.”

I shifted, feeling a little uncomfortable to be under this specific microscope. “Hitting me with the hard questions tonight, huh?”

His eyebrows rose. “I didn’t realize it was a hard question.”

In the last four weeks, we’d seen as much of each other as we could. I didn’t think it was enough for either of us but I still had my work, the kids, Seonaid, Roddy, and Angie while Aidan was juggling a number of projects and Sylvie had returned to school a little over a week ago. That had been an adjustment for the two of them.

Cal wanted to spend more time with Sylvie so Aidan had agreed to let her stay with him Friday nights and Saturday during the day. He’d also jumped on the chance for us to have a date but I’d made certain, to his visible frustration, that he knew it didn’t necessarily mean we were speeding things up. I had work in the morning.

The restaurant he’d decided on was The Dome on George Street. I’d never eaten here but the inside was even more impressive than the outside. It had Greco-Roman architecture with a Corinthian portico entrance. Inside the main dining room was a central bar with tables and chairs spread out from around it. But the eye-catching part was its domed ceiling with stained glass inserts and specialist lighting.

I’d borrowed a Ralph Lauren little black dress from Seonaid. It was figure-hugging and ended at the knees on her but at the calves on me. The black stilettos I’d gotten on sale to match gave me height but they weren’t the most comfortable. I was glad we were sitting down for most of the night.

As well as letting me borrow her dress, Seonaid had trimmed and cut my hair into a style that it would grow out of better.

Altogether, I wasn’t looking myself. Older, sexier, and I didn’t miss how taken aback Aidan was when he helped me out of my coat. His eyes had dragged down my body and back up again and at the sensual look he’d given me, I’d wondered if perhaps the dress was a mistake.

“Is it, Nora? A hard question?”

Yes, it was an incredibly difficult question. My guilt over the things I’d done hadn’t gone away because I’d met Aidan and Sylvie. In fact, even though they were supposed to be my repentance, I often thought the guilt may have worsened. Aidan gave me so much more than Jim ever had, and I’d known him all of a few months.

I was still confused, still unsure, and still not ready to face my own future. And I didn’t want to talk about it. “I’m happy at Apple Butter,” I lied.

“With your SAT scores, I somehow doubt that.”

My what? How did he …? “What?”

“It was in the file my guy gave me when I had him look into you.” He said it so blasé, like it was normal to look into people’s private lives.

I’d known about it, of course, but I hadn’t known it had been detailed enough to provide my SAT scores.

“You could get into the finest universities, if that was what you wanted,” he said.

“That costs money, Aidan.”

“We’ll find a way.”

My heart fluttered at we, but my agitation didn’t leave me. “Just leave it.”

Another eyebrow raise. “Why don’t you want to talk about this? You’ve been honest with me up until this point—why stop now?”

I looked around at the low-lit room where couples and friends and families enjoyed great-looking meals. If Aidan didn’t cease and desist on this subject, he was going to ruin my appetite. “We’re out for a nice meal. Don’t turn it into an interrogation.”