Author: Teresa Mummert

I ignored his comment about Brock and slid across next to Trish. She looked less than pleased that she wouldn’t be cuddling against Abel. I was the last person she should direct her frustration at. I didn’t want to sit next to Abel any more than she didn’t want me to, and it wasn’t my fault she ran with such a shady group.

Trish leaned around me to look at him as we pulled into traffic. “You think you could hook us up before we get there?”

I glanced at Abel, who was working his jaw as he stared ahead at the road. “Glove box.” He took a quick glance at me, and I looked at the glove box as Trish opened it and pulled out a bottle of pills. I looked back at Abel, who gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

“Liar, liar,” I said under my breath. I saw his head turn fraction of an inch toward me before he reached out to turn up the stereo and drown out any talk with classic rock music.

Trish pulled money from her wristlet and held it out to me. I grabbed it angrily and held it out to Abel. His fingers wrapped around mine and squeezed.

“It’s on the house,” he said, and his fingers slid from mine, leaving me holding the cash as Trish handed out pills to the guys in the backseat.

“Tonight is going to be epic, boys.” She laughed as she popped a pill into her mouth and held one out for me. “Don’t be such a baby.”

I felt Abel’s gaze burn my skin, and I held out my palm. He thought he was so smart. Everything he said was a lie, and he wanted to call me out? I popped the small pill into my mouth and swallowed. Trish let out a gleeful yell as Abel stepped on the gas and we flew down the highway.

Chapter Six

Party Hard

Domino was packed, and the strobe lights made the room feel as if it were tilted to the side. I giggled as I tried to navigate through the crowd on the dance floor. We barely could fit through the endless sea of bodies to get inside, but I didn’t care. I felt weightless, free from the memories that plagued me. The lights flickered in a thousand different colors, and it was like slipping inside a rainbow.

Abel gripped my elbow uncomfortably as he helped guide me through the mass of people. Trish had her arms wrapped around his waist behind me, and I was desperate to disappear from them.

“I need to dance,” Trish said from behind me, and I felt Abel’s fingers release from my skin. I kept moving through the crowd, needing to blend in, like I’d done so many times before.

I had no idea what I’d taken, but it was making me feel like I was on a cloud. I wasn’t a druggy, but in this world you have to be willing to adapt and overcome. I was adapting. For a moment I’d thought I’d seen something I could relate to in this stranger. Just as quickly it was all ripped away, and I knew he was no different from Trish, no different from the bullies who had spent years tormenting me.

I could be that way too; I could not care about anyone. So I set out on my mission to be one of the crowd. My skin tingled and ached as people rubbed against me as they danced. Soon I began to move with the steady, thumping pulse of the music, and my heartbeat took on the rhythm of the song. My body became languid, and I swayed slowly as the earth shifted with me under my feet.

Hands gripped my hips, ran over my arms, and trailed down my thighs, but I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. The affection I had craved was amplified in a tiny pill that made me feel like I was finally living, not just surviving. The fabric of my dress slid against my skin, and goose bumps followed. Hot breath tickled my neck, and beads of sweat were like tiny tongues flickering over my body. Time passed by on a plane of its own.

Seconds.

Minutes.

Hours.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

My skin grew hot under every fingertip, leaving trails of tingles and burns in their wake. I closed my eyes and moved with the flow of the body that was pressed against my back. I hadn’t felt so much love pulsing through my veins since I’d been with Brock. Who knew love could be manufactured and bought and paid for?

The heat increased until I felt my strength slowly dissipate, and I was limp in my dance partner’s arms, a puppet to his movements.

“You done?” a voice called sharply in my ear, and I glanced up to see Abel, anger in his eyes.

“Just getting started.”

“I think it’s time to go.”

“Why? You got some more drugs to sell?”

He pulled me out of the stranger’s arms. I stumble‐stepped toward him, and my hands fell against his hard chest. My fingers slid over his button‐down shirt, loving the feel of the silky fabric.

“Keep your voice down!” His tone was angry, and it made me pull back, but my balance was unsteady. Fortunately he kept his firm grip on my arm so I wouldn’t fall over.

“Look who the liar is now,” I teased with a half grin. I hated people like him, people like Trish, people like those in high school.

“I didn’t lie.” His cheek was against mine, and his breath blew over my ear. I closed my eyes, loving the silky softness of his flesh; the deep, soothing tone of his voice. “I thought you weren’t like her.”

My eyes snapped open at the anger in his tone, and I pulled back to look at him. “Like what? One of your customers? One of your friends? The liar is a hypocrite now.”

“I’m taking you home.”

I pulled back from him, but he refused to let go. “I don’t want to leave, and I can’t just leave Trish here. Some of us care about our friends.”

“She isn’t your friend,” Abel said, and I fought the urge to cry because I knew it was the truth.

“Neither are you.” I pulled back again, and this time he let me go.

“I’ll make sure they get home.” I narrowed my eyes as he rolled his. “I promise,” he added, as the world pulsed and swayed like an ocean breeze around me. Abel’s arms wrapped around my waist to hold me steady, and my head fell against his chest. The steady hammering of his heart beneath my ear soothed me, and exhaustion crept over my body.

“Whatever” was all I could manage, because I was lost in the feel of my body against his. He was taller than Brock, and his build was leaner, but if I closed my eyes, I could almost talk myself into believing it was him. He held me tightly as we made our way through the crowd toward the door. We stopped momentarily for Abel to tell his friends what he was doing. My body couldn’t hold steady, and I continued to sway with the rhythm of the music.

Soon the cool night air surrounded us, and I opened my eyes as I was pulled toward the old muscle car in the parking lot. I heard faint whispers of “It’s OK” and “I’ll take care of you,” and I clung to the safety and warmth. I slid over the slick vinyl seat of Abel’s car then lay on my side. His hand fell on my shoulder, my head resting on the side of his thigh, as the car accelerated through traffic.

We drove for what felt like hours, and I faded in and out of consciousness until the car finally came to a halt.

“We’re here.” Abel’s voice pulled me from my jumbled memories, and I pushed myself up to look outside.

“Why are we at the rape den?” I asked, as I took in the old crumbling house where we’d partied the night before. Trish’s words made me laugh, and I covered my mouth to try to stop the outburst of laughter.

“Because I can make sure you’re OK here,” he said through clenched teeth.

Abel got out of the car, and I didn’t move while he made his way to my side. The door opened, letting in a rush of night air, and I had to close my eyes to steady myself. He helped me from my seat and wrapped his arm around me as he guided me toward the dilapidated building. I wanted to protest, but his skin was alive against mine. The sensation was overwhelming, and I reached out to rub the hard ridges of his abdomen.

“You’re stupid for taking that shit,” he mumbled under his breath as he pulled my hand from his stomach.

“You’re stupid for selling it.”

His grip tightened, but he didn’t argue as we walked up the creaky porch steps. He guided me up the stairs to the bedroom where I had slept the night before. My moral filter long gone, I unbuckled the belt from my waist as I kicked off my heels and pulled my dress over my head, leaving me in my beige panty‐and‐bra set. I collapsed on the bed, and Abel tugged the comforter from under my body and pulled it over me, his fingers brushing over my stomach as he did. I could barely make out his silhouette in the darkness. I grabbed his wrist to keep him from getting up, my body swimming in euphoria.

“I am so fucking stupid,” was all he said, and his hot lips pressed against my forehead. My eyes closed.

That was the last thing I remembered before waking up several hours later in the darkness. A warm, strong arm held me captive against his body. I pulled against his grip as panic settled deep in my chest.

“I got you,” Abel’s deep, comforting voice whispered into my ear, but I struggled against him because he wasn’t Brock, and my memory was a foggy haze. I had no idea what the hell we had done last night, and now I knew I could never be anything like Trish.

“Let go of me.” I rolled over and was now face‐to‐face with him, my hands on his hard chest.

“I didn’t do anything to you. I promise. You had a nightmare. I couldn’t calm you. The only way I could get you to stop crying was to hold you.”

“Where’s Trish?”

“She’s at home in bed…alone.”

I sighed, my body growing slack against him. “Does she know where I am?”

After a moment of silence, he replied, “She didn’t ask.”

I allowed myself to be held by this stranger—the liar, the jerk. My body vibrated with silent sobs, and he held me as I broke down from the overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I cried out for Brock, cursing him for promising me forever and leaving me alone, but Abel’s grip was relentless. I hated myself; I hated him, but he never eased his hold on me, and I needed his embrace more than anything.

I drifted in and out of consciousness and finally awoke for the day right before the sun rose.

“You can let go of me now.” I squirmed against Abel, and his arms went slack as he yawned and I pushed up to sit. “Why are we even here?”

“You want the whole philosophical discussion about our purpose in life or the basics?”

“Shut up.”

“You can hate me, Lie, but you can’t do that shit anymore.”

“What shit?” I asked, as I turned to face him, his face barely visible through the moonlight.

He propped his body up on his elbow and turned on his side. “Why would you ever want to be like her?”

“I am like her.” I stood, wobbling under my weight.

“Liar, liar.” My own words were whispered back to me, and I wanted to scream at him. Stupid stranger, asshole, nice guy. I pulled my dress on and slid my feet into my shoes. I searched for a few minutes until I found my belt and secured it around my waist.

I left the room and made my way on shaky legs down the steps to the front porch. It wasn’t long before Abel joined me, a cigarette perched between his lips.

“You could offer me one.” I didn’t care if I was being bitchy. He laughed, obviously not caring as well. He lit his cigarette and handed it to me.

“You scared me.”

I didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t.

“Is this how you always are? You always take candy from strangers?” His tone was playful, but I knew he was asking if I was always this reckless.

I glanced at him then back at the moon. “No.”

He nodded and stared up at the same vast night sky as I did. “I don’t sell anymore. I wasn’t lying.”

“You think I’m that stupid?” I glanced at him, and his eyes met mine before looking back toward the moon.

“I don’t think you’re stupid, Lie. I think you judged me long before you got to know me.”