Eighteen

Parker

It shocked me how much I didn’t want to say goodbye when Rhys dropped me off at my apartment.

I’d clung to him as he kissed me, wishing he would drive us back to his place. Spending the weekend with him had spoiled me. It had also surprised me. And not just because of the tremendously fantastic sex.

Although it was worth noting that I was having the best sex anyone could have possibly ever had.

I hadn’t even known sex could be that intoxicating.

My appetite for Rhys Morgan was … unexpected, shall we say.

“Yet it’s about more than just the sex,” I told Zoe as I stood at our kitchen counter with a glass of wine in hand.

I’d just gotten done telling her about the weekend with Fairchild. How Rhys and I had decided to explore the very real chemistry between us. Then that horrible billionaire’s machinations. How it had led to a phenomenal night of sex and laughter. The hilarity (it was wrong to be amused, it really was) of Fairchild literally getting bitten by a sand snake, and how that led to more excellent sex. In fact, we’d stayed holed up in our room all night.

I was pretty exhausted.

However, it was the very best kind of exhaustion.

Fairchild hadn’t shown his face the next day. Andrew had been there at breakfast to see us out, and then we all got into our cars and drove to the airport. On the plane, I slept with my head on Rhys’s shoulder, content beyond any time I could remember.

Zoe sat on a stool at the counter opposite me, her chin resting in her palm. Her expression was contemplative. “Are you sure it’s not just sex? Because the sex you just described would convince any woman she was emotionally involved.”

I rolled my eyes. “I think I can separate my sexual feelings from my emotional ones. But that’s the thing. I can’t with Rhys. The sex isn’t just fantastic because the man is beautiful and athletic and very, very generous. It’s fantastic because there’s a connection between us. I feel it. We make each other laugh, and he has this wonderful ability to make me feel completely safe, even though when we’re together it’s like we’re free-falling. Scary and exciting … but I trust him.”

My best friend’s eyes glistened. “Oh, Park. Honey, I’m so happy for you.”

“Don’t get all emotional on me, you dork,” I teased, because if I didn’t tease, she’d make me cry.

“I know. I just … for years you’ve pushed guys away. Some very nice guys. Guys who wanted to be the one to pick up the pieces that shattered when you lost Theo.”

“It was too soon back then.”

“It’s been too soon for thirteen years, until Rhys,” she pointed out.

I bit my lip, trying to stop my dopey smile, and failing. “I want to spend all my time with him, which is extremely out of character. You know me. I’ve always needed my space from potential romantic interests.” I grinned now. “I don’t want space with Rhys. Space is officially unappealing.”

Zoe smirked. “You’ve got it bad.”

Avoiding the topic of just how bad I might have it, I continued, “You and Dean are the only people who know our relationship started out fake. I’m asking you, and hoping Dean will agree, to keep that quiet. No one needs to know it wasn’t real from the beginning.”

“Agreed. My lips are sealed.” Zoe tilted her head to the side in thought. “Can I ask … does Rhys know about Theo?”

“Yes. I told him.”

“It’s not weird for him that you haven’t been able to move on from the love of your life?”

Irritation rippled through me, even though I knew she didn’t mean to offend. “I am moving on. And Theo was my first love, Zoe, he always will be. But I don’t know if he was the love of my life.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, Park. You have got it bad. Should I be worried?”

I blushed. “I’m not saying Rhys is the love of my life. We’re not there yet. I’m just saying … what I had with Theo was different. It was sweet and lovely. It was first love. It was the love between two fumbling kids.” I smiled now, amazed at the way it didn’t hurt so much anymore. “I think I held onto what I had with him for so long because I was afraid to get hurt again. To lose like that again. This, with Rhys … it isn’t a choice to move on, to take that risk again.” I shrugged. “I just can’t not. I want him more than I’m afraid of losing him.”

There was a moment of heavy silence between us, and then Zoe threw back the rest of her wine and announced, “I need to buy that man a big goddamn present because I’ve never seen you this happy, and it makes me ecstatic. I love you, Park.”