The vibrator made it around the circle one time before the music quit. Bernice was the first one out. The next song, “Brand New Girlfriend,” fired up the players, who shouted out boyfriend every time instead of girlfriend, and both Maybelle and Lainie were lost on that round.
The longer the music played, the raunchier the action became. Celia found herself laughing so hard she wasn’t paying attention during “Giddy On Up” and she was caught pink-handed holding the vibrator.
Two players remained. Garnet and Amy-Lynn. They started flipping the vibrator back and forth. Garnet caught it between her knees just as “Friends in Low Places” stopped playing.
Amy-Lynn did a victory lap holding the pink phallus in her hands like a sword.
“Our bride gets to take a consolation prize home.” Harper handed her a box.
Amid shouts of, “Open it, open it,” she ripped into the big box. Yes, it was a vibrator, but not in an obscene shade of pink—hers was vivid purple with a cherry red head.
Maybelle clapped her hand over Tilda’s mouth after she made a crack about Barney the Dinosaur having a sore wee-wee.
Tierney awarded the most lewd use of her hands to Garnet, who turned on her new penis and challenged Amy-Lynn to a dick duel.
That’s when Renner walked in. “Looks like y’all are havin’ a lot more fun over here.”
“Join us and bring all your hot-lookin’ buddies,” Bootsie shouted, performing a lewd bump and grind that Garnet immediately copied.
Renner’s eyes automatically sought out his wife. Tierney bounded over for a brief conversation. When Tierney walked off, Renner’s gaze stayed on her ass, which amused Celia. Until Renner caught her watching him and shook his finger at her. “No tequila shooters for you two today, understand?”
Celia and Tierney looked at each other and laughed.
“When are we gonna hear that story?” Vivien asked.
“Never. We’ve been forbidden from ever discussing it.” Tierney winked. “All right, ladies, get out your shot glasses again.” Tobin and Fletch appeared with fresh bottles. “The next question for Celia. According to your husband, what’s your favorite sexual position?”
Celia fought a blush, but she knew the answer, hands down. “Any.”
“That is correct! Pour the woman a shot!”
Thank God. She was tempted to grab the bottle and run.
“Same question back at Kyle. And what will his response be?”
“All,” she said without hesitation.
Wolf whistles and laughter followed.
Celia sat and Janie slipped her another shot.
The next game required Celia to wear an apron emblazoned with Pretty in Pink, Wicked in Spurs, which had assorted kitchen utensils attached to it. She put on two oven mitts and had to catch various round-shaped fruits and veggies thrown by the attendees and set them in a large soup tureen until she’d completed the circle.
Then Celia was sent out of the room. The guests had to try to name everything pinned on her apron. And all the food she’d stowed in her pot.
Harper walked the perimeter, smacking a pink riding crop with a long feather boa on one end, making sure no one cheated.
“What exactly are you afraid I’ll do if you leave me alone?” Celia asked Tierney.
“Nothing. Since Renner and I have been married a year, you’re supposed to use this time to ask me any questions about marriage.”
“Are you happy?”
Tierney’s grin stretched ear to ear. “Sickeningly happy. Disgustingly happy. Especially since Renner is spending less time on the road this year. Sometimes when I look at him I can’t believe he’s mine. And I know he feels the same because sometimes I catch him watching me with this funny smile on his face. Sounds very sappy and clichéd.”
“You guys are a good match.”
“Opposites attract and all that. It’s been a learning curve for both of us, me never having been married, and him having taken the trip down the aisle twice, but the quickie Vegas marriage doesn’t really count in my mind.”
Celia waited for Tierney to retract her statement, due to her and Kyle’s quickie Vegas marriage, but she continued on.
“Neither of us had a parental marriage to model ours after, or a bad pattern to avoid, which has been a blessing. Renner can’t say, My parents always did it this way, because his mother died when he was young. So did mine. Our parents’ initial marriages left no lasting imprint on either of us.”
Sometimes Tierney talked way above Celia’s head. Imprinting? Modeling? Wasn’t every marriage supposed to be unique to that couple? What worked for one couple didn’t mean it was gospel for every other couple? Another thought crossed her mind. Were all the guys giving Kyle husbandly advice on how to handle her?
“I’m sorry, Celia. I’m blathering on and I’m supposed to be listening to you.”
“I’m trying to take in the fact I’m actually at my own wedding shower.” She cocked her head toward the room where the guys were holed up. “How’d you get them to show up? The promise of free booze?”
Tierney regarded her oddly. “No. The promise of fireworks. Between you and Kyle.”
She frowned. “Really?”
“On the guys’ side there’s a betting pool about how many dirty looks you’ll give Kyle once you two get into the same room.”
“And the women’s side?”
“Oh, the women are more romantic. They have a bet on how many kisses he’ll give you to try to wipe those dirty looks off your face.”