Bo whistled. “Jesus, I wouldn’t want to walk out of the john and see my daughter facing a lion.”

“I had my hand fisted in the lion’s mane and was kissing his face.”

Bo choked. “Changeling?” he guessed.

“Alpha changeling.” Kaia rose up on her elbow to look down at him, her gaze lit with an inner glow. “He’d come to check us out. We had permission to be in the area, but he wanted us aware that we were in lion territory.”

“Yet he let a baby kiss his face.” Bowen smiled at the image that formed in his mind, of a plump toddler clutching at the golden mane of a large, patient lion. “A good alpha, then.”

“Yes. A very good alpha, I later found out. His pride is one of the most stable on the African continent.” She brushed strands of hair off Bo’s forehead. “When I grew a bit bigger, my mother would sometimes take me into work with her. Only when it was a small clinic and she was doing routine work. The people who came didn’t mind—they used to bring along their own children and I’d play outside with them.”

Running his hand over her back, Bo said, “What happened?”

And the light in her, it dimmed, flickered, faded. “My parents got sick and died,” she said baldly. “And I began to hate hospitals.”

A tiny scrabble of feet, Hex coming awake. After going to Kaia for a stroke, he ran down the bed and off along one of the legs.

“I’ll need to open the door for him,” Kaia murmured.

“After a second.” Bowen wrapped his arms around her and held her close. “I’m going to get out of this place,” he told her. “You won’t have to watch me die.”

“You have a powerful will, Bo.” Her lips kissing his jaw. “But even your will can’t change hard medical facts.”

Bowen’s hand fisted on her back. “Maybe not,” he said, “but I don’t plan to go without a fight.” And if the result was to be oblivion, he’d leave Kaia with memories of joy; he wasn’t a man who knew how to play, how to court a woman, but he’d figure it out because leaving her with only sorrow was fucking unacceptable. “You are the greatest gift of my life.”

Kaia’s breath broke before she pushed away from him and got off the bed. Scooping up her pet, she walked to the door, opened it. When she paused and looked back at him, it was with eyes so dark that he knew he was talking to both sides of her nature. “I don’t know if I can.” The words seemed torn out of her. “I don’t know if I have that much courage.”

She had so much courage, he thought as the door closed behind her. She might have shut away a part of herself, but she loved with such generous warmth that it was a luminous light around her. He’d seen how the teenagers came to her for hugs, spotted how clanmates tugged her aside for advice or conversation, heard it in the steel of Dr. Kahananui’s voice when she’d told him to treasure Kaia.

He hadn’t needed the instruction; Bowen would do everything in his power to build memories so beautiful that even if it all went wrong, she couldn’t look back in regret. They might only have a fragment of an instant in time, but he’d make that fragment extraordinary.

Chapter 32

“You have no romance in your soul! It’s solid steel! I’m out!”

“Does your heart even beat? Is there a flesh-and-blood man under the stone?”

“Oh, look, you forgot Valentine’s Day. This is my shocked face. Don’t call me again.”

“Why do you have to be so fucking sexy and so terrible at being a boyfriend? You should date the Alliance. She’s the only thing you care about anyway.”

—Compilation of words spoken by women to Bowen Knight

BOWEN LOOKED AT Dr. Kahananui after that morning’s round of scans, the two of them in her lab. One of Kaia’s kitchen hands—a heavily muscled blond kid named Jayson—had turned up with breakfast trays soon after Bowen entered the lab. He’d also brought a pitcher of coffee for Bo and a pot of what looked like herbal tea for the doctor. Bo poured refills for both himself and the doctor as they got ready to discuss the results. “So?”

“Progress is as per the computer model.” She bit off a piece of toast but she wasn’t paying attention to the food, her eyes on the large screen on the wall.

She stood staring at it.

Walking over with the drinks, Bo handed her the mug of tea and took a sip of his coffee. He tried to make sense of the scans on the screen, but the only thing he could say for certain was that the computer had created a facsimile of his brain in 3D. “Then why have you been scowling at this for the past ten minutes?”

She gulped down half the mug before setting it aside and finishing off her toast. “It’s possible the compound might alter the effectiveness of the chip.”

Bowen braced his feet as his world shuddered. “My course is set.” He’d see it through to the end. “But if that is the result—and assuming no brain damage—it’ll be a major problem for the others.” Bowen would have no choice but to stand down as Alliance security chief—and yeah, even the thought of that hurt—but he couldn’t trust himself in a position where Psy might be able to influence his thoughts and decisions.

But Cassius, Lily, Heenali, the other knights, they’d also have to make a choice and he knew the choice they’d make: to die in freedom. What was the point of living longer when your mind could be taken at any moment, when fear of such a violation was a constant horrified whisper in the back of your head?

“When will you know for certain?” he asked Dr. Kahananui, even as ice crystals formed in his blood. Surviving but being wide open to telepathic interference would destroy him in the end, as effectively as acid dripping on his bones.

“I’m not certain. We’re navigating in the dark without lights.” She returned her attention to the screen. “Come back in four hours. I have to remove the muscle trainers.”

Having already made plans for his day, Bowen left without argument. It was as he was walking down the corridor that Hex ran over and stopped in front of him.

Bending down, Bowen held out his hand.

Kaia’s pet took a moment to think about the offer before deciding to accept it.

Putting the mouse in the front pocket of his navy blue shirt, Bo continued toward his destination. KJ was walking in his direction, dressed in the same blue scrubs that Bowen had spotted him in the other day. “Yo, man!” He held up a hand for a high five.

After slapping his palm to the shorter man’s, Bowen said, “You got a minute?”

“Sure. I was just going to ask Dr. K if she wanted me to do anything for her before I head over to the infirmary.”

The orderly’s eyes brightened when Bowen told him what he needed. “There’s one righteous spot,” he said at last. “It’s not real flash, but it’s the least used. Good chance you can find it empty, especially at night.”

Quickly memorizing the instructions on how to reach the location, Bowen asked a couple more questions, then said, “Thanks. And keep it under your hat.”

“Total word of honor,” the other man drawled. “Good luck.”

Bowen bumped fists with him and carried on ahead, hoping the luck would stick. It wasn’t like he knew what he was doing. According to the last woman he’d dated, he was about “as romantic as a block of wood.” She’d suggested he read some romance how-to books before “foisting” himself on another “unfortunate” woman.

“I should’ve made time to read them,” Bo muttered to Hex.

The mouse twitched his nose in response.

Bo’s next step was to locate Seraphina or Tansy, the two women Dr. Kahananui had told him were Kaia’s closest friends after Hugo. He was wondering who to approach for their whereabouts without his questions getting back to Kaia when he spotted Oleanna.

She waggled her eyebrows at his request. “No tentacles,” she whispered. “Either of them.”

His lips twitched; she was so joyously open about her sensuality that he could do nothing but like her. “I’m already very happily taken.” It felt damn good to say that; he wasn’t certain what Kaia’s response would be to his declaration, but she’d walked hand in hand with him through Ryūjin.

As far as Bowen was concerned, she’d claimed him.

“Talk about no tentacles!” Oleanna scowled and put her hands on her hips. “But I love Kaia, so I suppose I’ll allow her to have you.” She dipped her head toward him, eyes narrowed. “Why are you looking for other women if you’re with Kaia?”

Realizing he’d have to confess if he wanted her help, he gave in. She clasped her hands in front of her chest afterward, bouncing on her feet. “Oh, oh, please let me help. I’m really good at sneaking things.”

“As long as you can keep it secret.”

“Puh-leeese.” She snorted. “If you only knew the people I’ve had in my bed.” Patting his cheek, she said, “What do you need, handsome?”

Not long afterward, he tracked Seraphina down to the assistant station commander’s office. He didn’t get a warm welcome.

“Hurt Kaia and I’ll kneecap you.” Hands on her hips, jaw set, and her purple lipstick a perfect match to her purple nails.

“I’ll stand still for it if that ever becomes necessary.” Bo knew he’d drive Kaia crazy in the future he was determined they’d share, but he’d never purposefully cause her pain.

“Hmm.” Seraphina tapped one skyscraper-high heel on the carpet of her office. “What do you want?”

A faint softening in her face when he told her. “Well, I guess it’s better than dead clams,” she said, putting him firmly in his place. But she gave him what he needed—and added an unexpected extra. “I can close out the location for you. It’ll say Closed for Maintenance on the panel. Input this code and you’ll be able to get in.”