“The harp? Shit, that’s a lot of strings to tune. Do you think she’s serious?”

“Lyric is always serious.”

“There’s a chick who plays the harp on our tour for one of the song intros. I could ask her what kind to get an eight-year-old.”

“That would be great because I’m clueless. She wants to take lessons.”

“Would you let me buy her the harp and pay for the lessons?”

“You don’t have to do that. I can—”

“I want to. You have to let me start somewhere, Piper. You don’t even have to tell her, but for fuck’s sake let me feel like I’m doing something for my kid.”

My defenses start to rise, but I’m unsure if they’re valid. In some ways, he’s treading on my territory, and I’m protective. Other than sending checks, he hasn’t ever been involved in Lyric’s life. Letting him help make decisions and pay for actual things is going to take some getting used to. While it’s not entirely unwanted or unappreciated, it’s foreign ground for us. Lyric has always been just mine.

“Okay,” I reply. “I’m just not used to this. If you’d like to pay for it, then I’m fine with that.”

“Thank you. What do you think about me meeting her?”

Geez. He’s not beating around any bushes tonight.

“Do you really want to talk about that tonight?”

“Yeah.”

I thought we’d ease into this conversation slowly, maybe talk about his band and my job and casual life things before diving into child visitation.

“Are you sure that’s what you want? You’ve never wanted to see her before, so I’m sorry if I sound skeptical about all this.”

“I get why you feel that way. I’m clean now, and I’m trying to get my life together. She’s my family… and when I think about that, it’s big. She’s probably the only child I’m ever going to have, and she’s eight years old already and I barely know anything about her. The pictures you send are great but I want to see her and talk to her, ya know? In person. What have you told her about me?”

“Nothing.”

“What do you mean, nothing?”

“Nothing. She’s asked if she had a father twice I think, and I told her you moved far away and she’s never brought you up again.”

He’s quiet for a few moments. “Does she listen to my music?”

“Blue, she’s only eight years old. She’s not listening to grunge rock songs about sex and heartache and drugs and depression. She doesn’t listen to music much, but she likes Colbie Caillat and Britney Spears.”

“Ugh,” he groans. “That’s awful.”

I laugh. “Well, it is what it is. She’s a girl.”

“You really think that badly of my music?”

“I don’t think badly of your music at all. All I have to do is listen to it to know exactly how you’re feeling about me,” I tease.

He lets out a short laugh. “Very funny.”

“Seriously, I do love your music, even though I don’t fall all over you about it. Your lyrics are deep and raw, it’s the kind of music I want to blast at full volume and do ninety miles per hour listening to, just rocking out.”

“Hell yeah, baby. Now that’s more like it.”

“I’m going to have to talk to Lyric, and slowly introduce her to the idea of having a father. I can’t just say, hey guess what? Your father has materialized out of nowhere and wants to start seeing you.”

“True. I don’t want to scare her. I want her to like me.”

“You have to understand this is all new for me. I haven’t introduced her to anyone. The only guy friend of mine she’s met is Josh. I’m a bit of a wingnut as a mother, I just take things one day at a time. Thankfully, she’s very easygoing and self-sufficient in a lot of ways so she makes parenting easy. If she was one of those demanding, tantrum-throwing, dramatic, clingy types I probably would be a total fail in the mother department.”

“Don’t be hard on yourself, Piper. I think all parents guess their way through it.”

“I don’t know. Like I said, she’s usually very easy but a sudden dad in her life might freak her out a little.”

“You’ll be there, right? The first time I meet her?”

“Of course. I’m not going to just let my daughter go off with a stranger.”

Not the best choice of words.

“Hey, I’m not that strange,” he teases, flicking his lighter in the background.

“I didn’t mean that like it came out, I just mean she doesn’t know you. So to her, you’re a stranger and she knows she’s not supposed to talk to or go off with anyone she doesn’t know for any reason.”

The strumming of his guitar drifts through the phone, and the sound instantly puts a smile on my face. I miss hearing him play.

“I know you didn’t mean it that way, Piper.”

I sit up and run a hand through my messy hair. “I’m going to ask you for one thing.”