How odd, and incredibly sad, that the first thing we ever picked out together was a cremation urn. Not a couch, or dishes like most couples.

“Are you sure you don’t feel this way because you think I’m getting involved with someone else?” I ask.

“I just found that out ten seconds ago, Piper. So, no.”

“Are you involved with someone?”

“No.”

“Are you sleeping with someone?”

“Once. One time. Years ago. I was drunk off my ass.”

His admittance is like gasoline in my veins, burning through my limbs and exploding in my heart.

My mouth takes the wheel. “Did you love her?”

He doesn’t hesitate to answer. “No. Never. I love you.”

“I haven’t been with anyone.” My tone is accusatory and bitchy but I’m not sorry.

“But you care about him. He’s important to you. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Yeah…I care about him a lot. He’s a great guy. There’s the possibility to have something real with him. But…” The muscles of his jaw clench and I stare off at the road for a few seconds then return my gaze to his. “I’m still in love with you.”

His body closes in on mine, pushing me against the car. “I know you are.”

“You are so bad, Blue.”

His face is in my hair, his warm lips moving against my ear. “I didn’t even get a chance to tell you how beautiful you look,” he whispers. “It’s like you don’t age at all. You still look twenty-one years old to me.”

“Hm… so you like younger girls?” I tease, slipping my hands under his leather jacket.

Our lips meet, and linger, touching softly, breathing each other.

“I like you,” he says under his breath. “Can we get the hell out of this parking lot? I have a suite at the hotel. We don’t have to spend all our time outside anymore.”

“I can’t. Not because I don’t want to, Blue. I do want to spend more time with you. But I need to get home to our daughter.”

He lets out a low, drawn-out groan. “You’re right,” he agrees. “She needs you. Can you call me later tonight? After she’s in bed? Or is he staying the night?”

“He absolutely is not spending the night.”

“Then call my cell later when you can.”

“All right,” I relent. “I’ll call you… but I really need to do some thinking about everything. You have to slow your roll a little.”

He laughs. “Look at you with the badass lingo. You’re so cute.”

His smile ebbs away some of the sadness in my heart, and I love him the way he’s been tonight—so open with all his emotions, driven and communicative. A little pushy? Yes. But that’s okay.

The question is: how long will he stay this way?

Chapter Thirty-Four

My life always seems to be in some stage of effed up. I’m not even sure why. I think I’m a pretty normal person just trying to live a normal life. I stay in my bubble. I try to do the right thing. I do my best to treat others well. But I still find myself in stressy positions that I had no intention of getting into.

Like having to face Josh at my house after just seeing Blue.

When I get home, Lyric is on the couch with her favorite stuffed animal and about five books scattered on her lap. Josh is on the other end of the couch with his laptop. I kneel down next to Lyric and kiss her forehead.

“How’s my girl?” I ask.

“Did Acorn go to the rainbow bridge?” she asks solemnly.

“Yes. He’s an angel now.”

Tomorrow I plan to wrap up the locket with Acorn’s photo and a tiny piece of his fur and mail it to her. She believes in angels and Heaven. I know it will mean a lot to her when it arrives. She’ll cherish it. In her sweet, innocent mind, she’ll believe that it came from him.

She picks up one of the books and points to a little girl playing a harp. “I want to do this,” she says.

“Read this story?” I ask.

“No,” Josh says, shutting the lid of his laptop and putting it off to the side. “She wants to play the harp.”

“Can I, Mom?”

“Wow, the harp?” I exclaim.

“Yes, like an angel,” she answers.

I wonder if she has her father’s musical talents, and now I can’t wait to find out. “Of course you can. I’ll find out where to get you one. Do you want to take lessons, like with a teacher?”

She nods excitedly. “Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll find out everything as soon as I can. I think it’s a really neat idea.”

Josh hangs around while Lyric gets ready for bed, and I’m dreading the questions I know are coming. My head hurts from crying, and I’m exhausted and depressed about Acorn. The last thing I want to do is talk to anyone right now. I just want to crawl in bed and escape from everything.