Chapter 20

Blaire

What was wrong with me? I walked back into Bethy's bedroom and closed the door. I needed a minute to calm down. I'd been ready to beg Rush to screw me right there. It was that stupid dream. Okay, maybe last night's dream hadn't been stupid but it had been extremely intense. Thinking about it had me squeezing my legs together.

Why was I doing this now? Sexual dreams were one thing but now they were vivid and so real I was basically orgasming in my sleep. It was insane. Not once in Sumit had I been this horny. But then Rush hadn't been in Sumit.

I sank down onto Bethy's mattress that she had stripped for the move. I had to pull myself together around him. He hadn't been trying to come on to me but I'd been a panting wild woman from the moment his fingers touched my hand. How embarrassing. Facing him after that was going to be hard.

The door opened and Bethy walked in with a small grin on her face. Why was she grinning now? She'd jumped all over me when she'd caught me outside. "Your pregnancy hormones are kicking in," she said after the door was firmly closed behind her.

"What?" I asked confused.

Bethy cocked her to head to the side. "Have you not read any of those pamphlets the doctor sent home with you? I'm sure one of them tells you about this."

I was still confused. "About the fact I can't control myself around Rush?"

Bethy shrugged. "Yeah. I guess he'd be the one that did it for you. But you get horny while pregnant, Blaire. I know this because my cousin used to make jokes about his wife when she was pregnant. Said he had a hard time keeping up with her and all."

Horny? Pregnancy was making me horny? Just great.

"Probably only gonna be an issue with Rush. I figure he's the only person you are attracted to and want that way. So it's just gonna be more intense around him. Maybe you should tell him and enjoy this. I have no doubt he'd help out."

I couldn't tell him. Not yet. I wasn't ready and neither was he. Nan would be furious and I couldn't handle Nan right now. Besides, Rush would choose Nan and I couldn't handle that again either. "No. He doesn't need to know. Not right now. I'll be better."

Bethy shrugged. "Fine. I said my piece. You don't wanna tell him, then don't.But when you crack and fuck his brains out, could you not do it in public?" she asked with a smirk, then opened the door and walked back out.

"You need to wrap it up in a quilt first! You're gonna ruin my cushions," Bethy yelled at the guys.

I could face him. He didn't know about this. I would act like nothing happened. Besides I needed to help do something. I could finish packing up the kitchen.

Rush was watching me. Everytime he came back into the apartment to move something else his eyes found me. I'd dropped a bowl, spilled a box of cereal and dumped out a box of flatware because of those heated looks. How was I supposed to concentrate and not be a clumsy idiot with him looking at me like that?

When he walked back into the apartment this time I decided I'd go pack things up in the bathroom instead. They would be moving the kitchen table and chairs next and I just couldn't deal with that. I'd probably break every glass Bethy had.

I stepped into the bathroom and suddenly there was a body behind me moving me in further. The heat from Rush's chest pressing against my back made me shiver. Dangit. I wasn't going to be able to handle this.

The bathroom door closed and the familiar sound of the lock clicking into place only made my heart beat faster. He wanted more of what had gone on outside and I was so worked up by being near him I wasn't going to be able to think straight.

His hand brushed the hair on my neck away and he moved it over my shoulder. When the warmth of his lips touched my bare skin I may have whimpered. Both of his hands rested on my hips and he pulled me back against him even more. "You're driving me crazy, Blaire. Insane, baby. Fucking insane," he whispered against my ear. It took all my willpower not to let my head fall back on his chest.

"What was that outside? You had me so damn worked up I can't think straight. All I can see is you."

His hands moved up my sides then moved over my stomach. The almost protective placement of them, even though he had no idea what he was protecting made me tear up. I wanted him to know. But I also wanted him to choose me... and our baby. I didn't think he could do that. He loved his sister. I was terrified of that kind of rejection and I refused to let my baby be rejected.

I started to move out of his embrace when his hands moved up to cup my breasts and his mouth began nibbling on the curve of my neck. Oh hell. I might not trust him with my heart but I really wanted to trust him with my body. Even if it was just this once.

"What're you doing?" I asked breathlessly.

"Praying to God you won't stop me. I'm a starving man, Blaire." He paused waiting on me to reply. When I didn't, he reached up and pulled the straps of my sundress down until my breasts were bare. They felt swollen all the time now and it made them so sensitive. I was going without a bra more and more. My bra didn't exactly fit anymore and I hadn't wanted to spend money on a new one if this bigger boobs thing didn't last long.

"Damn, baby. They look bigger," he said as his hands covered them.

Wetness instantly pooled in my panties and my knees went weak. I grabbed the wall for support. Nothing had ever felt this good. A needy sound came out of my mouth but I wasn't sure what it was.

Suddenly I was being picked up and spun around. Then my bottom was put on the counter before Rush's mouth covered mine and his hands went right back to my breasts. I wasn't going to be able to stop this. I wanted it like I wanted my next breath. I had never needed sex of any kind before but this was something I couldn't control.

Rush's kiss was wild and as out of control hungry as I felt. He bit down on my bottom lip and pulled my tongue into his mouth and sucked. Then he tugged on my nipples and I lost it. I needed his shirt off now. Grabbing at it I yanked until he stepped back a fraction and jerked it over his head. Then he was devouring my mouth again.

His hands were doing delicious things to my breasts and I couldn't get him close enough.

A knock sounded at the door and Rush pulled me up against his chest until my breasts were pressed against him. I shuddered and closed my eyes from the pleasure. He turned his head toward the door. "Go the fuck away," he snarled at whoever was out there.

A smothered laugh was all we heard before Rush was kissing a trail down my neck and across my collarbone until his mouth hovered over my right nipple. The heat from his breath made me tremble and I grabbed his hair and forced his head closer with my silent plea. He chuckled, then pulled my nipple into his mouth and began to suck. The wetness in my legs caught on fire or at least it felt like it did. If he hadn't been holding me down with his body I might have shot through the ceiling.

"Oh God!" I screamed, not caring if anyone heard me. I just needed this. My reaction made Rush greedier. He moved to my other nipple and began giving it the same treatment as his hand moved up the inside of my thigh. The idea that he was about to touch my very swollen wet area made me scared and excited at the same time. He'd know something wouldn't he? Could he tell I was different down there too? Then his fingers ran along the outside of my panties and I just didn't care anymore.

"Fuck. You're soaking wet," he groaned and buried his head in my neck. His breathing was hard and erratic. "So wet." His fingers slipped inside the crotch of my panties and into my swollen folds causing fireworks to ignite in my body.

I grabbed onto his shoulders. My nails were digging into his skin but I couldn't help it. He was touching me. His mouth moved to my ear as he kissed me and his heavy breathing tickled my skin. "Such a sweet pussy. It's my pussy, Blaire. It'll always be mine." His naughty words as his finger slid in and out of me sent me close to the edge again.

"Rush, please," I begged, clawing at him.

"Please what? You want me to kiss that sweet pussy? 'Cause it feels so damn hot and juicy I need a taste." He was pulling my panties off and I was lifting my butt to allow him to. Then he pulled my dress up and I raised my hands to let him remove it.

"Sit back," he ordered, moving me himself until my back touched the wall. Then he took both of my legs and bent them up until my feet were on the counter and I was wide open to him. "Damn, that's the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life," he whispered before dropping to his knees and covering me with his mouth. The first lick if his tongue and I was coming again.

"Oh god, Rush please, oh god, ahhhhh," I cried out as I held his head unable to let him stop. It was too good. The flick of his tongue over my clit was incredible. I needed more. I never wanted this to end. His finger slid through my opening then held it open as he licked and kissed me there.

"Mine. It's mine. You can't leave me again. I need this. You smell so fucking perfect. Nothing is ever going to be this damn perfect for me," he murmured, as he tasted me. I was ready to agree to anything he wanted.

"I need in you," he said, lifting his eyes to look up at me. I just nodded.

"I don't have a condom," he paused and closed his eyes tightly, "but I'll pull out."

It didn't matter now. But I couldn't tell him that. I just nodded again.

Rush was up with his jeans down instantly. He grabbed my hips and moved me back to the edge of the counter until the head of his erection was touching me. The question in his eyes was unmistakable even if he didn't say it aloud. I reached down and guided his erection inside me.

"Fuck," he moaned as he pressed the rest of the way until I was full. Completely full of Rush. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him. For just a second I needed to hold him. This wasn't about my crazy hormones anymore. Now that he was in me I felt home. Complete and I was about to cry. Before I could embarrass myself and confuse him I lifted my head and whispered in his ear. "Fuck me."

It was as if I'd pulled the trigger on a loaded gun. Rush grabbed my hips with both his hands and let out a growl before pumping in and out of me. The climb toward the spiral I knew was going to come started up again and I rode him. Enjoying his moment of surrender and the complete abandon on his face as he brought us closer and closer to the climax we needed.

"I love you, Blaire. I love you so damn much it hurts," he panted then lowered his head to suck on my nipple. My body went off and I cried out his name. Rush lifted his head, and looking into my eyes, started to pull out and I clamped my legs around his waist. I didn't want him to pull out. The understanding of what I wanted hit him and he said my name in a whisper before throwing his head back as he pumped his release into me.