With my history, a court would probably believe him.

It wouldn’t matter in the end. My father didn’t know that I had signed away any chance I had to contest Nate for Nova. Maybe this was for the best?

Nate was upset with me, and with Duke circling, it’d just get worse.

It always got worse.

A part of me knew I wasn’t thinking rationally, but I mean, hello. I got hit by a car. My father was going to say I did it deliberately, and would Nate believe him? I hadn’t been able to bring myself to warn him because I didn’t want to see the moment he might consider it. Because there’d have to be that moment. One moment.

A hesitation to wonder if she would? Was she like that?

Did I have to worry about her doing that now?

Then that might spring to the question of: should Nova be around her?

That sliced me the most, digging deeper than all the others.

I was being irrational.

I needed to stop these thoughts. Nothing good would come out of it.

I loved Nova. I loved Nate. No. I wouldn’t walk, and I was too selfish to stop loving Nate. I couldn’t. I’d never be able to make myself hate him. So… what then?

You’re a mother now, Quince.

I closed my eyes, hearing Valerie in my head.

Why did you leave Nova to me? Why not Graham? Calihan?

Because you were supposed to have her. She’s yours, Quince. Yours and Nate’s.

It had to be you.

But why? I don’t understand. Why me?

You’ll understand when you’re supposed to.

It’s something I always knew, deep down.

That made me pause.

Was I actually talking to my dead sister?

I must’ve hit my head harder than I thought. I mean, they were worried about a head injury.

I couldn’t help myself. One last thought.

Will I be a good enough mother?

You’ll be the best mother.

It’s the second reason I chose you.

I hoped she was right.

If she wasn’t, then I’d just blame my head injury.

53

Nate

It was three days later when they were letting Quincey come home. Thank the fucking God.

This was all a new experience in some ways and way too familiar in others. The hospital. Car accident. Those things had happened so much to the people I loved and me, so it was an old hat. But when that happened to your little girl’s new mom and your partner—it was terrifyingly new.

And I hated it.

Felt fucking exposed every day Quincey wasn’t here, home, next to me.

I raked a hand over my face and sighed, sitting back in my office chair. I’d been trying to get shit organized, and my meetings for the next week dealt with or postponed, but my mind was racing. I felt like I was scrambling, trying to catch up, and I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.

I didn’t know what all I was even catching up to also. It was like a foreign entity, one that I couldn’t quite grasp or understand, and it kept slipping out of my hands. I was paralyzed with fear, thinking I wouldn’t be able to grab it in time, only to watch it slip away once again.

Fuck if I understood what was going on with me.

A soft knock sounded on my door, and I looked up.

Mason was there. He lifted his head in a nod to me. “Mind if I come in?”

I expelled a ragged breath, my hand falling to my desk, and I nodded at the same time I moved my seat back. “Yeah. Please.” I stood as he came in, shutting the door.

I went over to the liquor cabinet. “Want something?”

“Whatever you’re having.”

I pulled out two glasses and poured brandy into both. Handing him one, I returned back to my desk and wheeled my chair sideways. I wasn’t facing him. I was facing the wall, but I glanced over. It didn’t feel right to sit facing him for some reason. This way was more of a camaraderie feel to it.

Fuck if I understood that, either.

Mason sipped his drink, his eyes narrowing on me. He leaned back in his chair, getting comfortable. “How are you?”

A short laugh burst from me. “You want the real version? The Logan version? Or the PG version?”

“I want the Nate version.”

Right. I just sighed, again. “I feel like I’m trying to paddle somewhere without a paddle, and if I don’t get there, I’m going to lose something so precious that I’ll never get it again. Ever.”

Mason’s eyebrows rose. “I have no clue how to respond to that.”

I shook my head. “Neither do I. I love her, and I don’t think I’ve loved anyone before because I’ve never felt this before. My sister, yes. You guys, yes. I love my parents, but we’re just not close, and that’s cool with me. But, man. Mase. With Nova and Quincey? I’ve never felt this before. They’re everything to me.”

He grunted. “Been there. Am there. I get it.”