I used to hate him.

We’d been enemies at first.

I could do that. Hate him, fuck him, and still love Nova. Still have Nova.

I could do that. I would do that.

It was the only way.

I needed to hate Nate Monson again.

It was the best idea ever.

I turned, feeling energized because it was the best way I could stay.

I could stay with Nova.

I could stay with Nate.

And I wouldn’t get hurt.

“I do—”

I wasn’t looking.

I had forgotten where I was.

I thought I was in the middle of the sidewalk.

I wasn’t.

I was on the edge, and I stepped out, forgetting…

“Hey, lady!”

A blaring horn.

Screeching brakes.

Someone was screaming.

I’d forgotten where I was.

Then everything went black.

49

Quincey

The beeping woke me up.

Then the pain.

There was so much pain.

It hurt. Everything hurt.

“She’s awake.”

That—what?

A rustling sound.

“Miss Royas? I’m Dr. Cass. How are you feeling? How’s your pain tolerance?”

I didn’t—what?

I opened my eyes.

The light was blinding, and I cried out, trying to roll over.

I couldn’t.

I wanted to get away from that light.

“Miss Royas.”

That same voice, but it hadn’t been the one saying I was awake.

I didn’t want that one there.

I knew who that one was, and he shouldn’t have been allowed in my room.

Right?

My room?

I looked around.

The guy said he was a doctor.

The beeping.

I was in a hospital room.

What happened?

I tried to think…

Thinking hurt.

I had a headache.

Why did my head hurt so bad?

“Miss Royas, we’ve been checking your vitals, and you’re doing so much better…”

He droned on, and I stopped listening.

I didn’t know who he was.

I didn’t know what he was saying.

I was trying to remember—it happened in a flash.

I was flooded with memories.

Nate.

Ricci.

A phone call.

I was outside.

Nova.

Nova.

Nova.

Nate.

Hurt.

Pain.

Longing.

Love.

Then—the car.

I remembered the car now.

I was hit by a car.

I was going—I didn’t remember.

Why didn’t I remember?

I needed to remember.

Nate.

The memory flooded me, and I almost gasped.

I loved Nate.

I was worried about him knowing.

I was worried about losing Nova.

Nova.

Where was Nova?

Her laughter was in my head.

I could remember it. Her.

Her laughing.

Her running.

“Dada!”

Nate.

The memories were flooding.

Where were Nova and Nate?

I needed both of them. Now.

Where were they?

They were my family.

I sat up, trying to look for them.

“Miss Royas.”

A nurse.

I didn’t know her.

“You need to remain lying down. You can’t pull out your tube.”

My tube?

I tried talking. Nate. Nova. I needed them both.

I couldn’t talk.

The tube.

Nova.

I opened my eyes, and the nurse was looking at me.

I tried to motion. I could write.

“Quincey?” Her lips parted. She was surprised.

I looked behind her.

My father was there.

I felt a dip, and the beeping increased.

“Her blood pressure is skyrocketing.” The nurse again.

No shit.

I opened my eyes and pain. All the pain, again.

The room was bright. Too bright.

A shadow moved, falling over me. That helped.

The nurse moved there.

Turning my head, I felt like my neck was in cement. I saw my dad and a doctor by the end of my bed.

I croaked, trying to talk.

“Don’t talk yet, Miss Royas. Let’s wait until we can remove the tube.”

I wanted the tube out now, but I lifted my hand, gritting as more waves of agony sliced through me, and I motioned to write on something.

“She wants to write. Here you go. We have a board and marker next to you.”

The nurse again. She was being nice. Helpful.

I took the board, the marker. It felt funny in my hands, and I had a hard time grasping it at first.

I wrote, slipping a few times.

Nate?

The nurse frowned. “Nate? I’m sorry. I don’t know who Nate is. Is that someone you want us to call?”

I began writing again, feeling Duke moving forward.

Not him here. And I drew an arrow toward my dad.

Understanding dawned, followed by horror. The nurse looked at my dad. “Oh.”

“I think that’s enough for her today. We should let the doctor finish his evaluation.”

Duke was across from her now, reaching over.

He was going to take the board. I tried to move it out of the way, but he plucked it from me.

“That’s enough, sweetheart. You need to rest—”

“No.” The nurse’s voice was firm. She reached, took the board from him, and returned it to me. “She’s an adult, Mr. Royas. If she’s able to communicate with us, we need to hear her wishes.”

I tried glaring at him.

He barely flicked his gaze to me, his entire demeanor becoming chilled. “Excuse me. This is my daughter, and you will not speak to me like that.”

She stepped back, her head down.

I ignored whatever she was about to say, and I wrote again.

I don’t want him here. Why is he here?

The doctor had come around, standing next to the nurse. He read the board, glancing at my father before answering.

“He was your emergency contact in your file. We followed the procedure because you were unconscious. You would like your father removed from the room?”

Yes. I underlined it, almost stabbing the board if I could’ve.

He gave a nod, his shoulders setting. “Mr. Royas, you’ll need to leave the room at your daughter’s request.”