Nate lifted his head, his eyes finding mine. He smiled. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

He stated, “I’m cleaning your jar.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.” He moved in, placing a kiss to my cheek and then finding my mouth again. “I called you Q.”

I smiled. “You called me Q.”

Q!

I loved it.

I whispered, “Keep calling me Q, and you can do that any time you want.”

He nodded, his mouth falling and he was tasting my throat. “Jesus. I think I’m addicted to your body.”

A full-body shiver wracked through me.

“You’re not alone.”

I was running my hand over his shoulders, his arms, his stomach, his muscles, and I then I dipped down and found him. My hand wrapped around him, and he closed his eyes, falling back as I showed him how much I enjoyed how he woke me up.

It wasn’t long before I moved over, straddling him, and then we were moving all over again.

This time, I rode him. Hard.

47

Quincey

Nate went to check on Nova, and I slipped into the bathroom.

The premiere was tomorrow night, and the nerves were starting. They were mingling with the after-daze of what Nate and I just did, but they were there. They were starting to prickle and tingle, and I smoothed a hand over my stomach, trying to push them out of me. It was an imagery technique. I was gathering them, sorting them out of the happiness Nate just made me feel, and once I pulled them all together, I imagined I was wrapping them up in a net, and then I was moving the net up through my stomach, up my throat, up, and out of my mouth and then I was removing them from my body. All of them. I wasn’t letting one stay inside, and it worked.

I felt better.

They’d start again, but I’d shut down my mind and do that all over again.

It’s how I handled show days. I got nervous every time. I’d just forgotten how bad the nerves could get.

“Hey.” Nate came into the bathroom, Nova in his arms.

She saw me and held her hands out. “Mama.”

I froze. My heart was in my throat.

I looked at Nate, and he was just as surprised, but a slow smile spread over his face. “She called me Dada the other week.”

“Are you serious?”

Why hadn’t he told me?

“Mama!” Nova shrieked, throwing her body toward me.

Nate had her, but he moved in closer so I could take her. I was half-dressed, and I didn’t care. Nova nuzzled into me. I was melting all over again. Resting my cheek on top of her head, I smoothed a hand down her back. Nate had changed her for the day, and she smelled so good.

Take that, nerves. I got a ‘Mama’ today.

I pressed a kiss to her head, trailing my fingers through her hair.

Nate’s smile softened, taking us both in. “I was going to ask your schedule for the day.”

I rested my cheek back against Nova’s head. She was in a cuddly mood this morning.

Everything was golden and rainbows today.

It was going to be a great day.

I told him, “We have rehearsals all day today.” I wrapped my arms tighter around Nova and began rocking back and forth.

I could’ve held her all day.

I didn’t want to go in today.

I didn’t want to let her go.

“I was thinking we could do lunch today? Could you get time off to meet with me?”

My heart skipped a beat. “You’d do that?”

But why wouldn’t he? He’d already done so much for me. The hotel. Fighting for me. Why was I surprised?

Because you’re basking in happiness, and you know it won’t last.

No! I froze, hearing my own thoughts attacking me.

Nate nodded, dipping back into the bedroom.

He came back a moment later, his clothes with him. He put them on the counter and started to strip, heading for the shower. He turned the water on, testing it before glancing back at me.

He hadn’t taken his sweats off, and I was waiting.

He doesn’t love you. He told you himself.

I tensed, but Nate caught my look. He grinned, his eyes darkening, and I forced myself to relax.

Then he said, “I want to talk to you about something.”

The mood deflated after that statement. I felt the serious undercurrents from him, and I knew. I had known.

No, no, no. I wanted to hold Nova tighter to me.

I didn’t want to lose this, any of this. Her. Him. Me. All three of us being here together.

I couldn’t, but I saw his eyes. He was serious, and he was giving me a sobering look.

A gnawing dread started to fill me.

“Yeah?” My throat was scratchy.

Nova felt my tension and started to wiggle around.

She wanted to get free, but I held her for a moment longer. I couldn’t take these moments for granted.

When she moved around like a worm, I knew my time was done, and I knelt, letting her to the floor.