I was a few sips in when I heard them come back.

Nate walked in. Nova’s little pitter-patter of feet. She was in the mood to run. She must’ve woken up from a small nap. She’d have so much energy now.

Nate was talking to himself, but I couldn’t make out the words.

A chink of glasses. The sound of something being scraped against a plate.

Nova’s little pitter-patter again, then silence.

Nate was chuckling.

Nova was talking up a storm. Miss Penguin. Mama. Dada. Batty.

Ass?

Had I heard that right?

Nate’s bark of laughter told me that I had.

I drank more wine. It coated my insides, relaxing me, soothing, and taking away some of the pain from before. For the next hour, I listened to them above.

Nate fed her. Did the dishes.

I could hear the water being run for her bath.

His footsteps in her room. He stayed in there a bit.

Then he was on the move.

He went… He went to my room? Then to his room.

To the kitchen.

Living room.

He went outside, crossing to the pool house. He looked inside, but the light was off, and he turned around. He was coming back around.

Maybe I moved? I didn’t intend to, but suddenly, he turned and looked right at me.

I held my breath, a shiver going through me, and my mouth went dry.

He walked to the patio doors.

I frowned, feeling a drumbeat starting inside me. Slow but strong, it was building, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t know what was happening.

He came in, closed the door, and moved to sit next to me on the couch. He wasn’t touching me, and he wasn’t turned to face me. He was sitting there, and he leaned back. Then he spoke to the room, “I’m someone who feels emotions. I do, but they aren’t strong. And I know that’s not normal, but that’s me. It’s just how I am. I guess. Maybe I made myself numb, or this is just how I’m built. I’m telling you this because when I do feel things, I know they’re important.” He expelled a small pocket of air. “You don’t know this, or maybe you do because of Mallone’s file, but when I was younger, my parents worried about the influence Mason would have on me. He was angry, and he had reason to be. Me, I wasn’t as angry. Not then. I was more of a go-with-the-flow kind of friend, but my parents didn’t trust me. So they shipped me off. They shipped all of us off. Myself. My sister. My brother.”

I frowned. I had read about the brother in the file, but hearing it from Nate came with more context. I wanted to hear this from him.

“It wasn’t immediate, but my parents decided they wanted to get back to making movies. We got shipped to a boarding school in Canada, and I kinda lost myself for a while. I was mad at my parents because we didn’t have a lot of problems before that. Or I didn’t think we did. Maybe we did, and they never registered with me, but they created the problem. I remember thinking that and just getting so mad because they decided who I should see or talk to or who I shouldn’t. For a year there, I could only focus on getting back to my friends. It wasn’t really just to see my friends. It was more a ‘fuck you’ to my parents. Like, you tell me who you don’t want me to see? Then that’s all I’ll go and see then.” A short laugh, one that sounded bitter, came from him. “I lost sight of my own family during those years. When I was of age, I went back to Fallen Crest, and things had changed in my friend group. The dynamics were different. I was pushed out, somewhat, and yeah… that’s who I had fought my parents so hard to get back to? I don’t know. I was angry and confused, and I didn’t know who I was mad at. Mason or my parents? I think I was just mad at myself.” A pause.

A deep breath.

He said, “And then my brother died.”

My stomach twisted.

I teared up for him.

“I wasn’t there when he died. I wasn’t there when my sister was struggling. I didn’t even know about her struggles. I shut my parents out, so in essence, they shut me out. I had no idea…” His voice cracked. “I wasn’t altogether “in” with my friends, and I really wasn’t “in” with my family anymore. I was on this lost island, and I had no idea how I got myself there. It took a few years until I got things right on the friend's side. It took longer with my family, a lot longer.”

“You and Aspen seem so close now.”

“We are, but I had to work at that, too. My parents dropped the ball on a lot of things. Call it selfishness or workaholics or … I don’t know. They tried to make things better with me a few years ago, but too much damage was done. I more wanted them to shape up for Aspen. I guess I’m saying all this because there have been pockets in my life when I felt things. Hurt. Anger. Loss. Confusion. Concern. But not love.” He turned to me, his eyes so clear, so piercing. “When I saw Nova, I loved her immediately and I knew she was mine. I just knew. It was instant. I love my parents. I love my sister. I love my friends. But none of them touch what I feel for Nova.” Another pause and his eyes growing even more somber. “Or you.”