Chapter Thirty-Eight

I passed out again, this time from blood loss, or maybe grief. For a woman who’d never fainted in her life, I was making quite a habit of it.

I awoke in the hospital with Diana at my side.

“Since when do stitches warrant a bed?” I asked.

“It wasn’t the stitches that worried them but the fainting.”

“Worried me, too,” I admitted. “I’m going to lose my Jäger-Sucher ass-whupping card.”

“I doubt that.”

Silence settled between us. A silence full of questions, which I couldn’t let continue.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you everything,” I blurted.

“What didn’t you tell me?”

“About Sarah.” I braced to fight the tears, but none came.

“If I’d lost a child,” she said gently, “I wouldn’t want to talk about it, either.”

“You’re very understanding.” I considered her for a minute. “Am I dying?”

“No.” She got up and went to the window.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“Murphy’s gone. The diamond, too.”

And that started the tears when Sarah hadn’t.

“Damn it,” Diana muttered, hurrying back to my side. “I should have kept my yap shut.”

“No.” I scrubbed my face. “I knew he wouldn’t stay. I was surprised he came back in the first place.”

“Elise really wanted to study that diamond.”

“I bet.”

“She took the black diamond knife instead.”

“That might amuse her for a while.” Though I doubted it. The black diamond knife was just pretty unless it was used on a wereleopard, and we appeared to be fresh out.

“Edward’s in a serious snit,” Diana continued. “He hates it when people disappear and he isn’t behind it.”

I had to smile at that.

The door opened. Edward stepped into the room. “Better?” he asked.

I sat up, wincing at the pain in my head and my shoulder. “Yes, sir.”

“Excellent.” That said, he got right back to business. “Renee went to the village—”

“She was able to find it?”

“According to her, the waterfall was just a waterfall, the cave just a cave, and beyond that there was more mountain with no jungle at all.”

I guess that made sense. The waterfall had reappeared when we’d thought Mezareau dead, though he’d only been unconscious. His literal death must have made everything revert to its original state.

“What about the zombies?” I asked.

“The village was empty. Nothing but piles of dust, a few shards of bone.”

“The magic died,” I murmured, “when Mezareau did.”

Which meant the zombies weren’t really alive after all.

“Spells often fail when the spell caster dies,” Edward agreed.

“But not curses,” Diana muttered. “Noooo.”

“If anyone tries to raise another zombie army,” Edward said, “we need do nothing except kill the one who raises them.”

“But that shouldn’t ever happen again,” Diana interj ected. “Mezareau was the only one who knew how to create a wereleopard.”

Edward sighed. “There is always another.”

Diana cast a quick, concerned glance in my direction. She must be worried I’d leap out of bed and immediately try to find another way to become a wereleopard.

Maybe after I got rid of the headache.

“I have set my best trackers on finding Murphy,” Edward said.

“Don’t bother on my account.”

If he didn’t want me, I didn’t want him.

“Your account?” Edward appeared puzzled; then his face cleared. “Oh, the sex.”

Diana rolled her eyes. “Maybe the love?”

“You love him?” Edward asked.

“No.”

Diana snorted and Edward’s lips tightened. “I hate it when my agents fall in love. It’s so messy.”

“It’s not messy,” Diana snapped. “You get two agents where you previously had one. Don’t be an ass.”

Edward ignored her; maybe he was mellowing. Or maybe he just realized he was an ass much of the time.

“I was not looking for Murphy for you,” he said, “but for the diamond.”

“Good luck,” I muttered. Edward wasn’t going to find him.

“My second concern is you.”

“I’m fine,” I said.

“Not your health, but your magic.”

“Sir?”

“You were made a wereleopard because you had power. Even though you are no longer a shape- shifter, you’re still a voodoo priestess. You have raised the dead, which makes you a sorceress.” He lifted his hand, even as I opened my mouth to argue. “I know I ordered you to do it; however, I do not want to be called back here to deal with you if you decide to run amok.”

“Amok?”

His eyes narrowed. “Do you have any desire to rule the world?”

I snorted. “I can’t even run my own life.”

“Do not make me shoot you in the head, Cassandra.”

“I’ll do my best, sir.”

Edward left without a good-bye.

“Are you going to stay in New Orleans?” Diana asked.

“Where else would I go?”

“Anywhere.”

“Except you’re here.”

She smiled; I smiled. All was forgiven.

I got out of the hospital the same day, returned to my shop, and a week later was open for business.

I picked up Lazarus, who was going to be a daddy according to the vet, and the snake behaved as if he hadn’t seen me in years, wrapping himself around my wrist and giving me all the love a snake could manage. He behaved as if I’d never smelled like a leopard at all—which worked for me.

We segued back into our routine—me working, him loving me and hissing at Diana whenever she stopped by. It was their thing.

I was busy; I was rarely alone, yet I was so lonely. Which was stupid. I’d been alone for years. It had never bothered me before. Of course I’d always had the promise of Sarah in my future. Now I wasn’t sure what I had to look forward to.

And then one night, I found it.

I’d actually fallen asleep, a rare occurrence of late. I awoke to a breeze blowing through the open window next to my bed. But I hadn’t left the window open.

“Why did you leave?” I asked.

Murphy materialized from the shadows. He was thinner; his hair was longer. He’d found some new feathers. He looked almost like the man I’d met in the bar in Haiti, except that man had smiled and j oked, traded accents. This one didn’t.

“You hate me for taking her from you.”

I sat up in bed and hugged my knees to my chest. “She was taken from me a long time ago, Devon, and it wasn’t by you.”

I sensed a sudden tension in him as he inched closer. I wanted to reach out, but I was afraid he’d run again. “How could you say your life meant nothing?”

“It didn’t.”

“You saved me, Cass. I was going nowhere fast until I met you.”

“Ditto.”

“I love you.”

I smiled as I realized the truth. “Ditto.”

He sat on the side of my bed. “Are you going to spend your life trying to find another way to get her back?”

I drew in a deep breath, then let it out. “No.”

I hadn’t admitted that until just this minute. Sarah was dead, and there was nothing I could do about it.

Because raising my child from the grave was the act of a crazy person, and I kind of wanted to be sane.

With him.

“You promise?” Murphy whispered.

“Yes.”

His question, my answer, meant more than the words. They were vows we’d consecrate later. We spent the next several hours consummating them. It was what we were good at.

We were both drifting toward sleep when a final question woke me right back up. “Where’s the diamond?”

“What diamond?”

I tilted my head and caught the shadow of a smile. “Oh, Edward’s gonna love that.”

Murphy’s smile deepened as he fell asleep. Now I couldn’t. The moon called.

I climbed out of bed and went into the courtyard, where I stared up at the perfectly round orb just as a faraway clock stuck midnight—the most powerful minute of the most powerful moon. I let the silver sheen wash over me as I said good-bye.

I’d never forget Sarah, but I didn’t have to raise her from the dead for her to live in my heart, mind, and soul. She was my little girl, and no one could ever take that away.

Mommy ?

She no longer wore her hated uniform but a frilly white nightgown.

Are you OK now?

“I think I am.”

That ’s good. I couldn ’t go on to the best p lace until you let me go.

“I’m sorry.”

Every thing will be all right.

She’d told me that in the jungle, but I hadn’t been listening.

The man with the p retty beads in his hair— I like him.

“Me, too.”

He ’ll make a good daddy.

“What?”

Bye. Sarah began to fade and I let her. It was time.

I turned and Murphy was there. Something in his eyes made me ask, “Did you see her?”

“Yeah.” He tilted his head, and his earring flashed silver beneath the moon. “What was that about me being a daddy?”

I considered what had just happened between us and what hadn’t. Protection.

“I think we had a little accident.”

He crossed the short space between us and pulled me into his arms. Leaning down, Murphy kissed my hair where it grew white, then whispered, “There are no accidents.”

I smiled because I knew he was right.

He awakens something wild in her…