“You weren’t exactly whispering.”

He leaned one shoulder on the doorframe, crossed his arms over his chest. “And I take it you didn’t like what you heard?”

“I can’t marry you. Why would you say such a thing to them?”

“Can’t…or won’t?” He kept his voice resolutely casual, his smile wide to hide his sinking heart. “Perhaps I should have waited—all right,” he responded to the protest springing to her lips. “I definitely should have waited, but that doesn’t change the fact of what’s right for us.”

“You are insufferable. You couldn’t be more wrong.”

He advanced on her. “Lie to yourself, Jordan, but don’t lie to me. There’s something between us, something powerful.”

She lifted one shoulder. “The sex is great, I’ll admit.”

“Don’t you dare cheapen this by making it about sex.”

“Damn you, don’t do this.” Her casualness vanished.

“Don’t do what?” He straightened as well.

“Don’t you ruin what’s happened. I’m not ready to let you go yet.”

“Who says it’s your choice? I’m going nowhere.”

“You have to now.”

“Perhaps you’d care to explain that.” He stepped closer.

She jammed a finger into his chest. “Back off. I warned you, Will. You can’t say I didn’t. If you refuse to listen and get hurt, it’s not my fault.”

Fury simmered. “Now who has the ego? You’re so sure I can be hurt so easily?” Deliberately he kept his tone lazy and amused, though he was anything but.

“Don’t you patronize me. I told you I’m not the marrying kind. Marriage is an obsolete institution. People who like each other, who have a good time, they get married and everything goes to hell from there.”

Ah. “We’re not your parents, love.” This was fear talking.

“Don’t be a simpleton. I’m not talking about my parents. Look around you—divorce is everywhere. Marriage is a hidebound tradition that doesn’t work today. People need to be free to come and go as they please.”

Anger sparked again. “And being with me would diminish you somehow?”

She lifted her chin. “Yes.”

“How?”

“That’s not the point.”

“What is your point, exactly?”

“I won’t marry you, Will.”

“I haven’t asked you yet, now, have I? You’re frothed up for nothing.”

“Frothed up? Don’t be insulting. Look, I don’t want to argue. We’re too different, that’s all.”

“Because I’m not hysterical?”

“Hysterical?” Jordan turned around and headed for the door. “I do not get hysterical. This conversation is over.”

Over, was it? Be damned if it was.

In her outrage, she didn’t hear his steps behind her. He closed the gap, swung her off her feet and slung her over his shoulder. “Do you think I asked to fall in love with you?” he growled. “You are a spoiled, petulant child with no more vision than an old blind dog. You refuse to see what we could have.”

“Let me down, you—you baboon.” Jordan pounded his back, wriggling and kicking wildly. “I hate you.”

“You do not.” Will dumped her on his bed.

She scrambled to her feet, and he stepped in her way. “Don’t push me any further, Jordan. You sit there and you cool off.”

“You’re insane. Haven’t you heard one word I’ve said?”

“If I am insane, ’tis you who’s driven me there. Yes, I’m listening, but all I hear is drivel and fear.”

“Fear? Me? I eat guys like you for breakfast.”

He looked at the ceiling and prayed for patience. “Of course it’s not men you’re afraid of. It’s yourself. Your brain, Jordan darlin’, is your worst enemy. You think too much. Love isn’t reasonable or logical. The heart doesn’t care if it makes sense. The heart wants what the heart wants, it’s that simple.”

“The heart is only an organ that pumps blood. Everything else is self-delusion. People want to believe in that fantasy because they’re afraid to be alone. It’s not real.” She paused for a minute, and he waited to hear what would pour out of her next.

“Look, let’s be reasonable about this. You and I are different, but we have a good time together. That doesn’t have to go away if you can simply accept that’s all this is. We can agree to disagree about sentimental matters.” He could almost see her in court as she dared him to dispute the logic of her case. “Now, I’d like to go home, please.”

“What about Marly and David?”

“I’ll just tell them I don’t feel well.” Her chin jutted. “It won’t be a lie.”

“This is a mistake,” he said quietly.

“It is.”

He was certain they didn’t mean the same thing.

“I won’t come after you again, Jordan. The next move is up to you.”

Her eyes were huge and dark and serious. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“Relationships have to grow…or they die.” Couldn’t she see what she was doing to them? What they could be? “Don’t act like a child.” Please. But he was sick to death of being the only one to believe.

Jordan watched him, and in her eyes, he thought he saw the stirrings of doubt, perhaps of regrets. “I wish I could make you understand,” she said so faintly it was barely a whisper.

“What I understand is that you’re going to let your fears win.”

He saw her flinch from his words, but she didn’t argue. Instead she put one hand on the doorknob. “Shall I call a cab?”

His heart was lead. “Very well,” he said stiffly. “Suit yourself.” He drew his keys from his pocket and reached past her to open the door for her.

The way a man did for the woman he loved, Will thought bitterly.

But he wouldn’t beg for her to love him back.

CHAPTER TEN

FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS, Jordan worked like a maniac.

But she also checked her phone obsessively.

Will never called.

Well, that’s good, isn’t it? She asked her reflection in the gym mirror. It’s exactly what you wanted.

The ache in her chest weighed a hundred pounds.

She felt like a kid who’d given away her favorite toy. She hadn’t understood how much Will had brightened her life until he was gone.

But she was the only one who understood that this could only end badly. She’d had no choice, once he started spouting foolishness about marriage, to end things before she inflicted damage he couldn’t bear.

Because for all his great strength, Will’s heart was soft and unprotected. She could live with most of what she’d done in her life, but she couldn’t live with knowing she’d damaged that beautiful heart of his.

She’d done the right thing, Jordan knew that. What she hadn’t counted on was how much she would hurt.

And the only person she wanted to turn to for comfort was the one she’d had to shove away.

Jordan ratcheted up the angle on the treadmill. She would get past this. She would sweat Will out of her system. She would get back in fighting trim, be back out in the game any day.

Fiona stepped on the machine beside her. “Hi— Wow, what’s wrong?”

“What? Nothing.”

“Then why are you crying?”

Jordan reached up, horrified to feel wet cheeks. “It’s nothing.”

“This is me, girlfriend. I can count the number of times I’ve seen you cry on one…actually, I’ve never seen you cry. What gives?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“It’s that guy, isn’t it? Will?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, lordy.” Fiona hit the stop button on both machines, then grabbed Jordan’s arm. “Come on.”

Jordan shook her off. “I’m busy.”

“I don’t care.” Fiona practically dragged her off the treadmill. Once they were inside the locker room with no one around, Fiona faced her friend. “Spill.”

“There’s nothing to say.”

“Sure there’s not.” Fiona studied her. She opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. Shook her head. “It has to be love. Nothing else makes a person so miserable. So do I need to kick his ass?”

“No!” Jordan subsided immediately. “The fault isn’t his, it’s mine.” Misery swamped her, enough so she made a painful admission. “I’m not in love. I can’t be.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll screw it up.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I can’t make Will happy. He needs a Marly. He deserves one, damn it. I can’t be like her.” Her chin jutted forward. “I don’t even want to.” But she knew she was lying. If she could be a Marly, she would.

“Has he asked you to?” Fiona sounded enraged. “Because I’ll march right over and read him the riot act. You’re just fine as you are.”

Jordan sagged. “That’s what he said.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“If you knew him, you wouldn’t ask. He’s this cheerful giant who works magic with wood, who deserves babies on his lap and gardens full of flowers and some little cottage with hand-braided rugs on the floor. That’s not me, Fee.”

She began to pace. “I’m a hard-nosed lawyer. I eat nails for breakfast. I party all night, and Will’s up with the sun. I like bad boys and loud music. He talks like a damn poet. He’s too patient, too cheerful. I’m bad-tempered and impatient, and I’m not going to change.”

“Honey—” There was laughter in Fiona’s voice. “That’s it?”

“It’s not a joke. Anyway, it’s over and just as well. We’re completely ill-suited. I wear Armani suits and he doesn’t even own a tie, I don’t think.”

“Ah, so you’re ashamed of him.”

“Of course not.” Jordan rounded on her. “I’m not a snob. I just…” Tears welled in the corners of her eyes. “I don’t know how to fit him in, Fee. And I would screw it up, I know it. I’d feel like crap because he’s such a good man, but I’d still do it. Sooner or later, I’d get restless and want to be out all night, and he’d be making hot chocolate and just want to rub my feet or something. He’d be miserable, and I’d never forgive my self.”

Fiona put her hands on Jordan’s shoulders. “My grandmother used to call what you’re doing borrowing trouble. Can’t you just see how this plays out before you declare it a disaster?”

“You don’t understand. He came to my house on Christmas Eve dressed up as Santa and brought me a jewelry box he’d made himself. It’s museum-quality stuff, Fee. And inside it was this necklace.” She brought the piece out from beneath her old T-shirt. She should have taken it off, given it back…but she just couldn’t.

Fiona touched it gingerly. “It’s exquisite.”

“He kissed me and made my toes curl. Made love to me until I lost my mind. But then he told his family he was going to marry me.”

“Well, then. He obviously deserves to be shot.”

“It’s not funny.”

Fiona rubbed her arm. “I can see that. What did you do?”

“I told him all the reasons why marriage is stupid. I mean, if even Marly and David can’t make it…”

“Are you kidding me? Jordan, you’re reading a lot into what Marly said. Marriage isn’t a cakewalk, no, but they’ll be just fine.”

“She’s not happy, and she’s the most content person I ever met—well, except for Will, maybe.”

Fiona shook her head. “She’s going through a stage. We all do. People do—not just married people.”

“But what if they can’t fix it? Marly’s ten times—a hundred times the woman I am.”

“Honey…” Fiona stroked Jordan’s hair. “You’re smarter than this. So have you seen Will since?”

“No.”

“Have you called him?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. It’s over, the end. For once in my life, I’m trying to be noble. Leave this, Fee.”

“Just answer me one question first. How does he make you feel?”

Jordan sighed loudly. “He’s not just great in bed. It’s not just the sex this time. He makes me feel so…cherished, so…special.” Then she burst into tears again.

“And that’s bad because…?”

“I’ll ruin it. I won’t mean to, but somehow I will. I’m not good at this, and Will deserves someone amazing.” She shoved past her friend. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Hard as it may be to believe, I’m thinking of someone besides myself for a change.”

“Jordan,” Fiona said. “Don’t be an idiot. Don’t walk away because you’re scared.”

“Too late,” Jordan whispered as she gathered her things to go. “I already did.”

“Jordan…”

But she rushed out before Fiona could say more.