Page 6
“Honestly, I don’t know.”
She smiled. “Okay. Why don’t you tell me about yourself? What’s a normal day like for you, Jonah?”
I wasn’t sure how talking about a normal day would help me, but she was the doctor. “I keep pretty busy. I’m in charge of the beef ranch. You probably know that Talon runs the orchards and Ryan the winery.”
She nodded. “Actually, Talon and I have talked relatively little about his work. But yes, I did know that he handled the orchard. He brought me some of his luscious peaches. They were delicious.”
Luscious peaches. I shot my gaze to her chest without meaning to. She wasn’t huge like Jade, but damn, just the size of those large peaches from our orchard…and most likely just as succulent. What might Melanie taste like? A juicy peach? Maybe not. Maybe something completely unique. Yes, unique.
“I guess when he came in, you knew exactly what to talk about.”
She chuckled. “Actually, no. He didn’t really know what to talk about either. What you’re experiencing is completely normal. So I try to start with something familiar, like your daily life. Usually we end up where we need to be.”
“But you didn’t do that with Talon.”
“Of course I did. I just didn’t start with his daily routine.”
“What did you start with his first time?”
“Last time, you told me you didn’t want to talk about my sessions with Talon.”
True, I had. So why not just answer the question she asked?
“My life is pretty routine. I get up early, around five a.m., meet my foreman and several others in my office and get a look at the day’s work. Sometimes I go out into the pastures myself. Other days I’m stuck doing paperwork all day.”
“So you guys have a pretty big operation.”
“Yes. The most successful ranch in Colorado. We have just under half a million acres, and we employ hundreds, and that’s not counting seasonal work.”
“Then you have a lot of responsibilities.”
“Yeah. I mean, I’m mainly responsible for the ranch, but…”
“But?”
I stiffened.
Melanie continued, “But you feel responsible for everything, don’t you?”
She was right. I did. I was the oldest, after all.
“If you take care of the beef, Talon takes care of the fruit, and Ryan takes care of the wine, what does your sister do?”
“Marjorie is a lot younger than we are. Right now, she just fills in and helps where she’s needed. At some point, she’ll probably decide whether to stay on the ranch and help us or to leave. Her true love is gourmet cooking. But she does own a quarter of the ranch. My father left it to all of us in equal portions, so she’ll always have a cut.”
Melanie nodded. “So tell me, if your siblings own three quarters of the operation, and you’re all adults, why do you feel responsible for everything?”
Why did I? “Because I’m the oldest, I guess.”
“Because you’re the oldest. I see.”
What did she see? I opened my mouth to ask the question, but she began speaking again.
“Jonah, you don’t have to be responsible for everything.”
“Oh, I know. My brothers both do their fair share. They work really hard, and Marj does whatever we ask her to. Whenever there’s extra work to do, she’s right there to lend a hand.”
“Still, you feel responsible.”
She was right. I did. Because I was the oldest. My father had told me that enough. You’re the oldest. You need to take care of things. Take care of your brothers and sister.
I hadn’t done a very good job.
“Tell me about your father,” Melanie said.
Could this woman read my mind? After all, that was her job. Get inside my head. I still wasn’t very comfortable with that.
“What does my father have to do with any of this? He’s been dead for nearly eight years.”
“You got the sense of responsibility from someone. Your father is as good a place as any to start.”
“All right. My father was…pretty domineering. Very loving as well, don’t get me wrong. He was a good father. He taught us all from a young age about ranching, about responsibility.”
“But he taught you more about responsibility than the others.”
I nodded. “I was the oldest. Of course I was expected to be the most responsible.”
“And your father? Was he the oldest of his siblings?”
“He only had one brother, but yes, he was the older.”
“That makes a lot of sense.”
“How so?”
“He was most likely taught to be responsible as the older child, and because you were his oldest, he passed that on to you.”
Did he ever. “Yes, he did.”
“Did you ever resent being given such a large amount of responsibility at such a young age?”
“Maybe a little. But in a way I liked it as well. I was the oldest brother. I like being the oldest. I got to learn how to ride a horse first. I got to learn how to ride a bicycle first. I got to learn how to drive a tractor, a car. I got my own room, when Talon and Ryan shared one.”
“Didn’t you grow up in a large ranch house?”
“Yeah, but the two of them liked sharing a room. At least until after…” I cleared my throat. “Talon wanted his own room after that. But me, I always wanted my own. I like alone time.”
“Alone time. Why do you think that is? Why do you like being alone so much?”
“I don’t know. I always have.”
“Do you think it was because it let you escape the responsibility of being the oldest brother sometimes?”
My palms began to itch. Damn, this woman was getting inside my head, and all my defenses were yelling at me to make it stop. I clenched the arms of the recliner, getting ready to stand.
“Going somewhere?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re bracing to leave. Your body language is speaking volumes right now, Jonah.”
She was in my head all right. Well, that was what I was paying for. How was I supposed to let her into my psyche when all I could think about was getting her into my bed?
I forced myself to relax. “You must have misread me. I’m not planning to go anywhere.”