Emme finished the school year on a high with marks that were far more representative of “the regular Emme.” While she has her bad days, she’s certainly much more settled. I don’t ever expect that she’ll get over losing her parents, but Dax has taken on the role with grace and the typical father anxieties. And of course I’m part of all of it. Holly was right; by being involved with Dax, I’ve taken on the role of mom for Emme. And I’m happy to be a source of support and love for her, just as she and Dax are for me. In some ways I think I was wrong when I told Dax he would get used to the holes in his heart, that they couldn’t be filled by other people. Having the two of them in my life has soothed my previous losses. They fill me with love and purpose in ways my job can’t.

A few minutes later we pull up in front of my favorite restaurant. It’s a little pub in West Hollywood that serves the best sweet potato fries with chipotle mayo. They also have the best burgers in the entire history of the universe. I may have written that in a review on Yelp and managed to get a few free burgers out of it.

It’s normally pretty packed on a Friday night, so I’m surprised to see the empty booths near the window. Maybe we’re just ahead of the rush.

Holly gets out first and I follow, waiting for Emme. She’s wearing her typical hoodie-and-jeans ensemble, although she’s retired the one with all the holes in the sleeves, for the most part. Holly has a cardigan on, despite the warm evening breeze. Although, to be fair, they like to blast the air-conditioning in this place.

As soon as she opens the door, I realize I’ve been duped. This isn’t just a birthday dinner out with my best friend, my boyfriend, and Emme. There are balloons on every table with the number thirty on them, and a huge banner that reads Happy 30th, Kailyn is strung across the ceiling.

But that’s not even the worst, or best, part. Everywhere I look there’s It’s My Life memorabilia. Posters hang on the walls and those freaking Dax Barbie dolls function as centerpieces. The hostess who greets us is wearing what looks like one of the It’s My Life shirts I used to have with Dax’s face on it.

“Kailyn Flowers?” The hostess grins. “Follow me, please.”

I throw a look over my shoulder at Holly and Emme, who are both grinning stupidly. My parents always made such a big deal out of my birthday, probably in part because it wasn’t acknowledged prior to my adoption. But also because they wanted to celebrate when I came into the world, and how it brought me into their lives. Since my dad passed, Holly has taken on the task of making my birthday special, so I’m sure whatever this surprise is, she has more than a small hand in it.

I brace for whatever is coming, but nothing can prepare me for what I walk into. I expect to see Dax, and he’s definitely there, front and center. I’m not surprised to see a few friends and colleagues, but what I don’t expect is to be swarmed by a mob of people screaming my name like I’m the one who starred in a wildly popular TV series instead of my boyfriend.

I’m enveloped in the biggest group hug ever for about ten very confusing seconds before the hug mob steps back and I realize exactly whom I’ve been hugged by.

“Oh my God!” And all of a sudden I lose complete control of my hands. They start flapping in the air in front of my face. “Oh my God!” I scream a second time as I fight with my body not to jump up and down, and lose the battle.

I slap a palm over my mouth, uncertain if I can contain another scream of excitement, or another bounce. My gaze snags on Dax as he pushes through the crowd, which comprises the entire cast of It’s My Life. And they’re smiling like loons, shouting my name and clapping like I’ve just put on the best performance in the world. I want to simultaneously melt into the floor and make every one of them sign something for me. I want to be twelve years old again so I can pin the poster to my wall and swoon over it every day.

It’s only when Dax is a few feet away that I notice what’s printed on the shirts. It’s my face, with the text Kailyn Flowers #1 Fangirl. In fact, every single person in the room is wearing the exact same shirt. I look over my shoulder to see that Emme has lost her hoodie and Holly has taken off her cardigan to show off their own shirts. Holly’s reads Kailyn Flowers’s Bestie. Felix is behind her, hands jammed into his pockets, smiling along with everyone else.

“Happy birthday, beautiful,” Dax says as he wraps me up in his arms.

“I can’t believe you did this.” I bury my face in his shirt. I’m sure my cheeks are a vibrant shade of red. “I hate you so much right now.”

“No you don’t.” He tips my head back and smiles down at me. “You love me.”

“This is crazy. How did you manage this?”

“We were due for a cast reunion, and I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate your birthday than with all the people who helped bring you into my life. I’d like to think without them you never would’ve fangirled on me all those years ago, and then I might not have had the chance to fall in love with you.”

He drops a soft kiss on my lips. “Come on, let me introduce you to everyone.”

I’m giddy and ridiculously excited as we make our way through the room. Someone hands me a Sharpie and I’m forced to sign everyone’s shirts.

Dax had one made for me that reads Daxton Hughes Is My #1 Fan with a picture of the two of us. He’s wrapped around me, chin resting on the top of my head, his smile wide and warm and full of love.

It’s hands down the most incredible birthday party I’ve ever had, thrown by an even more incredible man. My future with him might not be easy or conventional, but then nothing worth fighting for ever is.

Sometimes the darkest tragedies bring us the brightest lights. I’m lucky enough to have found not one, but two.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

As always, I have a boundless love for my husband and my daughter, who make this possible for me. Thank you for your patience and understanding and your hugs and positive encouragement.

To my family, thank you for your love and support and for helping mold me into the person I am today. I wouldn’t be who I am without you.

Debra, salt without pepper is like Canada without maple syrup or hockey.

I have such an amazing group of friends and colleagues who help me take an idea and turn it into a book you can hold in your hands, and I couldn’t do this without them. Kimberly, you’re a unicorn and I’m so very glad I have you in my corner.

Sarah, you’re an incredible human. Thank you, and the Hustlers, for holding my hand every time we do this.

Huge love to Leah and my team at Forever for making this so much fun!

Nina, you’re a special brand of superhero; thank you for all the years and the love. Jenn, you’re amazing, and your positivity and insight make you a truly fabulous friend and colleague. Thank you for being on my team.

My Beaver Den book beavers, thank you for always sharing in my excitement over new books and projects. I love your enthusiasm for words and love stories.

I have so much love and pride for the incredible women in this community who are my friends, colleagues, teachers, and cheerleaders: Deb, Leigh, Tijan, Teeny, Susi, Erika, Shalu, Kellie, Ruth, Kelly, Melanie, Kristy, Karen, Marty, Marnie, Julie, Jo, Laurie, Kathrine, Angela, my Pams, Filets, Nap girls, Holiday’s, my Backdoor Babes; Tara, Meghan, and Katherine (and Deb, again); thank you for being you and dealing with my crazy.

To my readers, the bloggers, bookstagrammers, and all the amazing people in this community who read and love and share: it’s an honor to be one of you.