“I’m very excited to see what else you advertise on your ass this weekend.” He grins and folds an arm behind his head, bicep flexing enticingly. “But seriously, do you know what I find incredibly sexy about you, apart from your excellent taste in underwear?”

I prop my chin on my fist. “Do tell.”

“The way you come.” He drags his tongue across his bottom lip.

I can’t hold eye contact, it’s just too intense. “What do you mean?”

“You’re so fierce most of the time, but when you come, God, you’re so sweet. It’s fascinating to see you like that, just vulnerable and unguarded but still so . . . poised. Maybe that’s not the right word. Whatever it is, it’s my new addiction.”

I duck my head and bury my face against his chest. “Now I’m going to be self-conscious.”

“I don’t want to make you self-conscious. You’re phenomenal, Kailyn. Everything about you is incredible.” He runs a finger from my temple to my jaw. “I love that I get to see this soft side of you. Whenever I think about how messed up everything is, I remember that out of all this bad came two good things. I have a very special relationship with my sister and now I have you. So as hard as all of this change has been, you make the difficult days easier.”

The sweetness of the declaration is tainted by the things I’m keeping from him. Guilt tugs at my conscience and I consider for a moment telling him about the deal with Beverly. But I don’t want to ruin this moment, and there’s no guarantee he’ll come over to Whitman, so instead I kiss his fingertips, my heart aching and swelling at the same time. “I’m glad I can do that for you, for both of you.”

I stretch up to kiss him, and it quickly escalates until I’m underneath him again. He’s sweet and slow this time, his eyes on mine as he brings me to the edge of bliss and tips me over into the heavenly abyss.

I’m in far too deep to get out unscathed. But I like this place we’re in; it feels protected and safe for now, even though I know it isn’t.

chapter seventeen

LITTLE LIES

Kailyn

Saturday does not include lazy morning sex because Dax is speaking at a panel. Instead we have a morning quickie, and an even faster shower before we head down for the continental breakfast. Dax is bombarded by people who want to offer condolences and talk shop. The women are something else, though. They simper and fawn. It’s embarrassing and infuriating.

What I love about Dax is the way he’s able to shift a conversation away from himself to include everyone around him. I don’t have a problem holding my own, but people gravitate to him and he knows how to work a room.

I see firsthand how very different he is with me than he is with anyone else. When we’re alone he lets his guard down, but around all of these people he puts on the actor mask, smiling, making conversation, and being generally charismatic.

He constantly pulls me into conversations with random fangirls, possibly to save him. He introduces me as a close friend from law school. Then he proceeds to tell whoever is currently in his orbit how incredible I am. He surprises me when he speaks at length about my willingness to take on pro bono cases and how we need more lawyers who exhibit such altruistic tendencies.

And of course no one wants to be rude, so they nod politely, voicing their agreement while he rambles on about how brilliant I was in law school. How I’m the only reason he pushed as hard as he did and ended up where he is. It’s equal parts entertaining and humbling.

I realize, as he drives the conversation, that despite how difficult his life has been these past months, he’s paid attention to me, to the things I want, what my goals are. And in a way, he’s acknowledging the sacrifice he believes I’m making in taking on the role of conservator for Emme.

So often these events are about posturing, everyone talking about how awesome they are and how many hours they work, how they’ve made partner and their amazing beach house in who the hell cares where. I’ve always been personally proud of my choices, aware I’d make better money if I didn’t take on pro bono cases. I could drive a better car, maybe have a nicer house, but Dax’s praise is the affirmation I didn’t realize I needed. And I fall a little bit more for him because of it.

Dax excuses himself twenty minutes before his panel, and I take the opportunity to freshen up in the ladies’ room. It appears every single woman at the conference had the same idea and by the time I get to the panel every seat in the front half of the room is taken, again, mostly by women. I’m forced to take a seat close to the back of the room. With only a few minutes to go the space fills quickly. I smile at the man to my right, trying to place him.

It takes a moment, but I realize he’s one of Dax’s friends from law school, and from the pictures I’ve seen in Dax’s house, I’m pretty sure he’s Felix.

I give him a courtesy nod.

“Kailyn Fangirl.” He cringes. “I mean Flowers. Hey. Hi. It’s been a long time.”

“Not long enough, apparently,” I mutter.

“Felix McQueen.” He holds out a hand, giving me no choice but to take it. “I thought I would’ve seen Dax downstairs at the bar last night, but it looks like you’re keeping my boy busy.”

I hate that I have to tip my head up to glare at him, but I do.

“He’s a lot more relaxed this morning than I’ve seen him in a long time.” He waggles his brows.

My face heats with embarrassment.

“It’s a good thing, Kailyn.”

A woman in the row behind us taps him on the shoulder and whispers something in his ear. He laughs and murmurs his own response before the moderator announces the panel is about to begin.

I don’t have a great view from where I am thanks to the basketball player seated in front of me, but if I lean to the right I can sort of see Daxton. He’s eloquent and compelling, commanding the attention of the entire room, apart from the man sitting beside me.

Felix leans in close, the kind of close I would find uncomfortable if he wasn’t Daxton’s best friend. And maybe still do anyway. “I kinda owe you an apology.”

“You’re good. Dax already apologized on your behalf,” I whisper, eyes still on Dax.

“Yeah, but he’s pissed at me over it, so I figure it’s better coming from me, yeah?”

He’s not whispering, and a couple of people look over their shoulders at him, so I elbow him in the side. He lets out a loud oomph, drawing even more attention. Daxton catches the movement and cocks a brow, not at me, but Felix.

“McQueen, save it for the bar tonight,” Dax says with a knowing smile.

That gets a round of chuckles from the group.

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” Felix salutes him, but he remains silent for the rest of the panel, mostly playing a game on his phone or texting. He pauses once to ask a completely irrelevant question.

When the panel ends, a horde of women rushes the front of the room.

“Come on, let’s go get something to drink while he gets mobbed.” Felix tips his head to the door.

I don’t really want to leave Dax here with all the fangirls, but I’m also not interested in watching them fawn. “Okay.”

Felix smirks. “Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.”

“He’ll be okay, right?”

“Yeah, he’s used to this. You’ll just have to deflate his ego later.”

I chuckle and I gather my things, following him down the aisle. Felix is tall, taller than Dax even, so he waves, points at me, who I’m sure Dax can’t see, and makes a drink motion. It’s just shy of eleven, but the bar is already full of people taking early lunch and drinking pints like it’s college all over again.

Felix and I find a seat at the bar. I order a latte and he orders scotch on the rocks. As soon as the bartender is gone he turns to me. “Sorry I was a dick in law school.”

“Everyone was a dick, especially in law school.”

He swirls the scotch in his glass. “Yeah, but I sort of screwed you over hard, so I feel bad about that.”

“Why?”

“Why do I feel bad, or why did I screw you over?”

“Either? Both?”

“You and Dax were such rivals. It was ... I don’t know. He was so obsessed with beating you, and kinda obsessed with you in general, really. I figured, what was the big deal if your assignment was handed in late and his wasn’t, you know? I didn’t think it would mess with your GPA so much that it would skew anything. Except it did. So, yeah, sorry for being a dick.”

“It was a long time ago. It doesn’t really matter anymore. Besides, I’m exactly where I want to be.”

“I still feel bad. We were real assholes, especially me, and I’m not sure I’ve changed all that much. Dax is different, though. He’s a good guy in a bad situation, so I’m hoping we can wipe the slate clean since Dax and I are tight and he seems to like you.”

“Consider it wiped.” My phone buzzes on the bar top and I glance at the screen. It’s Dax asking me to meet him in the room. “Looks like Dax is done with his fangirls. I’ll leave you to deal with yours, then.” I incline my head to a group of women standing not far away, two of which are looking in his direction.