Page 6
"I'm dying..." I moaned, and then promptly clamped my lips shut. I might actually be dying. I glanced up at the big brick house that, after three years, still didn't seem like home. "Get it over with. Just get it over with." At least my sister wouldn't be home yet--cheerleading practice. Hopefully, the troll would be totally hypnotized by his new Delta Force: Black Hawk Down video game (um...ew). I might have Mom to myself. Maybe she would understand...maybe she would know what to do....
Ah, hell! I was sixteen years old, but I suddenly realized that I wanted nothing as much as I wanted my mom.
"Please let her understand," I whispered a simple prayer to whatever god or goddess might be listening to me.
As usual, I went in through the garage. I walked down the hall to my room and dumped my geometry book, purse, and backpack on my bed. Then I took a deep breath and headed, a little shakily, to find my mom.
She was in the family room, curled up on the edge of the couch, sipping a cup of coffee and reading Chicken Soup for a Woman's Soul. She looked so normal, so much like she used to look. Except that she used to read exotic romances and actually wear makeup. Both were things her new husband didn't allow (what a turd).
"Mom?"
"Hum?" She didn't look up at me. I swallowed hard. "Mama." I used the name I used to call her, back in the days before she married John. "I need your help."
I don't know whether it was the unexpected use of "Mama" or if something in my voice touched an old piece of mom-intuition she still had somewhere inside her, but the eyes she lifted immediately from the book were soft and filled with concern.
"What is it, baby--" she began, and then her words seemed to freeze on her lips as her eyes found the Mark on my forehead.
"Oh, God! What have you done now?"
My heart started to hurt again. "Mom, I didn't do anything. This is something that happened to me, not because of me. It's not my fault."
"Oh, please, no!" she wailed as if I hadn't said a word. "What is your father going to say?"
I wanted to scream how the hell would any of us know what my father was going to say, we haven't seen or heard from him for fourteen years! But I knew it wouldn't do any good, and it always just made her mad when I reminded her that John was not my "real" father. So I tried a different tactic--one I'd given up on three years ago.
"Mama, please. Can't you just not tell him? At least for a day or two? Just keep it between the two of us until we...I don't know...get used to it or something." I held my breath.
"But what would I say? You can't even cover that thing up with makeup." Her lips curled weirdly as she gave the crescent moon a nervous glance.
"Mom, I didn't mean that I'd stay here while we got used to it. I have to go; you know that." I had to pause while a huge cough made my shoulders shake. "The Tracker Marked me. I have to move to the House of Night or I'm just going to get sicker and sicker." And then die, I tried to tell her with my eyes. I couldn't actually say the words. "I just want a couple of days before I have to deal with..." I broke off so I didn't have to say his name, this time purposefully making myself cough, which wasn't hard.
"What would I tell your father?"
I felt a rush of fear at the panic in her voice. Wasn't she the mom? Wasn't she supposed to have the answers instead of the questions?
"Just...just tell him that I'm spending the next couple days at Kayla's house because we have a big biology project due."
I watched my mom's eyes change. The concern faded from them and was replaced by a hardness that I recognized all too well.
"So what you're saying is that you want me to lie to him."
"No, Mom. What I'm saying is that I want you, for once, to put what I need before what he wants. I want you to be my mama. To help me pack and to drive with me to this new school because I'm scared and sick and I don't know if I can do it all by myself!" I finished in a rush, breathing hard and coughing into my hand.
"I wasn't aware that I had stopped being your mom," she said coldly.
She made me feel even more tired than Kayla had. I sighed. "I think that's the problem, Mom. You don't care enough to be aware of it. You haven't cared about anything but John since you married him."
Her eyes narrowed at me. "I don't know how you can be so selfish. Don't you realize all that he's done for us? Because of him I quit that awful job at Dillards. Because of him we don't have to worry about money and we have this big, beautiful house. Because of him we have security and a bright future."