Mamie had it right; I was here. So was Emma. And the fact was I wanted to be around her, whether it was a smart idea or not. She took me outside myself, to a place where every thought wasn’t mired in rage or regret. I was under no illusions that Emma Maron could fix me; no one could do that. But I enjoyed the moments I had within her orbit, and that was more than I’d had before she fell into my life. Even when I’d been playing, I’d never had this level of connection with a person.

I managed a mumbled “Welcome,” but she was off again, and I followed. We didn’t speak again until an hour later when we reached a clearing that overlooked the valley. A fine sheen of sweat glittered on Emma’s skin as she raised her face to the sun and let the breeze wash over her.

I did the same and pulled off my shirt to fully feel it. The sound of Emma’s barely concealed gurgle of surprise nearly brought a smile to my mouth, but I kept my eyes closed and my expression neutral. I hadn’t thought much about it when I’d stripped my shirt. But she liked what she saw. I’d known this when I’d confronted her after she watched me swim naked. It had been written all over her expressive face then.

I felt her gaze like a hot brand now, appreciating me. I may have milked it a little, flexing my pecs and abs before stretching my arms out overhead.

“Careful,” came her bland voice. “You might tweak a nerve stretching like that.”

I let my arms drop and gave her a baleful look. “You calling me an old man, Snoopy?”

“I’m calling you a show-off, honey pie,” she countered, then paid me back in full by bending over to touch her toes, that perfect peach of an ass aimed my way.

Hell.

She bounced just enough to make my dick perk up. Cursing, I turned to put my shirt on and then dug into the pack as she huffed out a light laugh.

“You’re an evil woman, Em.” I handed her a bottle of water.

She grinned. “You had it coming, Lucian.”

“Yes, I did.” I found myself smiling, despite the ache of desire in my lower gut. I liked Emma, but I loved the way she teased. It reminded me of the camaraderie I’d had with my guys, but better. I’d never wanted to haul any of my teammates onto my lap and devour their mouths. The mix of needful lust and fun was strangely intoxicating.

I pulled out another water and drank deep before offering her an energy bar. We found a wide, smooth boulder to sit on in the shade and drank the rest of our water. Emma drew her knees close to her chest and rested her arms on them. Her profile softened with contentment.

Which meant I had to ruin it.

“I’m sorry for scaring you yesterday.”

Emma stiffened, and I silently cursed myself for saying anything. But then she tilted her head my way. Her calm blue eyes moved over my face, as though assessing. I held myself still, pretending I didn’t itch to hop off the damn rock.

“You didn’t scare me,” she said softly, carefully. “Not really.”

But I had. I’d been there. I’d seen her fear. “I’m . . . loud when I lose my temper,” I said, feeling like an asshole. I shouldn’t have lost my temper with this woman at all. “I used to be . . .” Better. Whole. “Calmer. Anyway, it was unforgivable and I—”

Her hand landed on my forearm, warm and steady.

“Lucian. Don’t. You have no reason to apologize. We were arguing. It happens.”

“But—”

“My dad hit.”

Whatever I had planned to say came to a screeching halt, a red mist moving over my gaze. She’d been hit. My fists curled. I wanted . . . fuck. I wanted to hug her. Hold her.

Her nose wrinkled as she traced along the seam of her pants. “It was his favorite method of discipline, if you can call it that.” She grimaced, glancing away. “Sometimes, I flinch, even though logic tells me there’s no real threat.”

I swallowed twice before I could find my voice. “Understandable. Fear is mostly reactionary.”

If you ask, I’ll hold you. I won’t let go until you feel safe again. Ask me, Em.

With a frown, Emma shrugged, as if she could push it all away. “It’s embarrassing. I’m not that weak and frightened girl anymore.”

No, she was strong, resilient, beautiful. And yet she was embarrassed. It was fundamentally wrong.

“You think being physically abused is a sign of weakness?”

Emma ducked her head, the sunlight glinting on her hair like a halo. “I . . . no. I don’t know. I guess a part of me always wonders, If I’d been stronger, bigger, would it have happened?”