I was almost asleep, having been induced into a lazy afternoon food coma, when Sienna turned up the television. “Syd?”

I looked up from my daze and saw Jack’s handsome face on television. The man truly still took my breath away. He was standing alone while photographers snapped pictures of him stopped on the red carpet. He looked insanely handsome wearing a tuxedo and giving the camera that sexy half-crooked smile that made me melt the first time I met him. Then she walked over to him and my heart stopped.

Jenna was decked out in one of her usual over the top outfits. Her full br**sts were barely contained in her hot pink dress that cut down to just below her navel. The sides of her dress were cut out and the bottom slit exposed the top of her thigh as she posed herself for maximum leg exposure next to Jack, smiling wildly. Jack put his hand on her back and together they preened for the flashing cameras. Jack’s smiling face turned hard as he waited for the cameras to finish. I could tell from the way his jaw clenched that he was not enjoying himself, although Jenna’s smile told a completely opposite story.

The newscaster spoke over the footage as the ticker along the bottom of the screen announced that the pictures were from the previous year’s AVN Awards. Apparently this year’s nominees had been announced and Cole Productions had grabbed a record number of nominations.

Sienna and I starred speechless at the television as the segment gave a little history on the AVN Awards. “The American Adult Video Awards are the Oscars of the adult film industry, with nearly 100 categories, some of which are analogous to the general film industry awards. Others are specific to the erotic film industry. This year Cole Productions, led by the always handsome Jack Cole, snagged a record number of nominations. Jack and his longtime partner, Jenna Favor, remain elusive to the media, but rumor has it there may be some new bling on Jenna’s finger at the awards this year, ladies.”

I stared at the TV, my mouth still hanging open at the story even as the news moved on to the next segment. Sienna spoke first. “Syd, they make up things to get ratings. You know there is nothing going on with Jack and that creature.”

It took me a minute to respond. I knew in my heart that nothing was going on with Jack and Jenna, but seeing them on TV and watching him put his hand on her back with a sense of familiarity still made me feel sick.

“I know, Sienna. But it still makes me ill hearing even a fake story about Jack and another woman. Especially that woman. I didn’t like her the first minute I met her and seeing her gloating face enjoying standing next to Jack makes my stomach turn.”

I jumped at the sound of my phone ringing and vibrating on the glass table in front of me.

“Don’t ignore him again, Syd,” Sienna warned.

I took a deep breath and grabbed for my phone, expecting to see Jack’s handsome face on the screen, but the face that appeared startled me. My mother.

“No way.” I tossed the phone back on the table as if it was fire and I had just burned my hand.

“Syd,” Sienna warned.

“It’s not Jack. It’s my mother.”

“You think the timing of her call is a coincidence, or she just saw what we saw?”

“I don’t really want to find out right now.” I stood and looked over to the cheesecake we had ordered earlier with dinner but had been too stuffed to eat. “Dessert?”

“Always.”

***

A few hours later I was sure my mom had seen the news segment. She called four times in a short span of time, which was very unlike her. I checked her message after the second call to make sure I wasn’t avoiding an emergency and she mentioned she had seen Jack on TV and wanted to check in with me.

My mother and I were close and I knew that she would be concerned, but when she wanted information she had her ways of getting it from me. I wasn’t ready to share that part of Jack’s life with her, although I was sure that whatever sordid image she had already conjured up in her mind was probably far worse than the truth of the situation.

I still hadn’t spoken to Jack about the news segment, and at first I thought that maybe he was giving me some space to let the segment sink in. But Jack wasn’t really that type of man. If he had a problem or a concern, he went right to the core of it. He didn’t believe in space or mulling things over. It just wasn’t who he was.

I thought back to the first time we had seen each other in Hawaii. We met in a bar while he was there with his friends for a bachelor party. I had been vacationing with Sienna on what was supposed to have been my honeymoon. We’d both felt the instant chemistry that sparked between us. But I had been coming off of a broken engagement and wasn’t really looking to meet anyone. Jack had decided we should have an island affair and there was really no stopping him once he made up his mind. He hadn’t pushed me or anything, but he was clear with what he wanted and didn’t give me an opportunity to overanalyze my decision. Instead, he’d stayed right in front of me, standing so close with his incredible green eyes burning into me that my body couldn’t help but react. He was demanding and possessive, but in a confident, sexy kind of way that few men could pull off.

The more I thought about Jack, the more I realized that he must not have heard about the news story yet. I knew he had a board meeting that morning, but I wasn’t sure how long those type of things normally lasted.

I was just drying off after a shower when I heard my phone ring from the bedroom. The flashing picture of Jack made me smile, even though I was a little apprehensive to discuss what I had seen on TV. Down deep, I knew I was acting childish. But when it came to Jack, my emotions were difficult to control.

“Hey.”

“Hey, beautiful.” His sexy voice made me smile, even from thousands of miles away.

“How was your day?”

“As expected.” Jack sighed and quickly changed the subject. “How was your pajama and room service day?”

“It was … interesting.” I struggled for the right word to describe my day.

“Tell me about interesting.”

“I’d rather hear about your day.” I had no idea why I was stalling.

“You’re stalling, babe. Is everything all right?” Since the first day I’d met Jack, it had always thrown me off balance how he seemed to have the ability to read my mind. For the most part, I had chalked it up to my body language, but apparently he could do it even through the phone, thousands of miles away.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Know what I’m doing when I’m three thousand miles away.”

“I told you, babe, you’re important to me, so I pay attention. But you’re still stalling, so why don’t you tell me what you don’t want to tell me.”

Yep, I was right, the man would never have given me time to think before calling if he knew something had bothered me. “I saw you on TV today.”

“Okay.”

I flirted my response. “You looked really handsome.”

Jack chuckled. “Get to the interesting part, babe.”

“It was a story on one of the pseudo-news shows, the ones that do the news, but all the news revolves around celebrities.”

“I know the type.” I could tell from his tone that he was growing impatient with my story.

“They announced the nominees for the AVN Awards. The footage must have been from last year’s award ceremony, because you and your date were on the red carpet all dressed up.”

Jack blew out a rush of air. “My date? You mean Jenna?”

“Yes, her.” God, just hearing Jack say her name made my claws come out.

“So you’re upset because you saw us on TV together?” Jack’s question was seeking confirmation, not questioning the validity of my reaction.

“No, although I did feel a little queasy when the reporter mentioned a rumor that Jenna might have some extra bling on her finger this year from you.”

“I’m sorry, babe. Jenna’s publicist has kept rumors of our relationship circulating for years. I never cared because it helped sales and I really didn’t give a shit what anyone thought. I’ll make sure Jenna and her publicist stop playing games.”

“Thank you, I’d appreciate that. My mom has been calling all day and I haven’t figured out what I am going to say to her yet.”

“Why do you have to figure out something to say to her?”

“Because I’m assuming she saw the story today as well and I am not sure what to tell her.”

Jack spoke solemnly. “Tell her the truth.”

“That my boyfriend is a pornographer and had sex with more women than I can count?”

Jack was quiet for a minute. “Is that how you think of me, Syd?” His voice was low and sounded pained.

I tensed at the sadness of his tone. I hadn’t meant to come across as hurtful, but I was being honest. I had no idea what to tell my family and friends now that the dark side of Jack’s life had come to light.

“Maybe that didn’t come out right. It’s just that my family won’t get it. They don’t really know you and I don’t want their opinion to be based on some stereotype they took from a movie about Bob Guccione.”

“I care what you think, Syd, and I didn’t think you judged me as a person based upon the type of businesses I run.”

“I don’t, and I don’t want others to judge you either.”

We talked for a little while longer, but the damage had been done and there was a tension between us even when we moved on to other topics. When we hung up I wondered how my heart could be filled with such love for a man and yet I was able to hurt him so easily.

***

The best part of my friendship with Sienna was that she told me the truth, even when I didn’t always want to hear it. The night after my conversation with Jack I was still moping around, even after our show. I told Sienna about my talk with Jack and tried hard to repeat exactly what had been said.

“So you basically told him you were embarrassed of him,” Sienna said matter-of-factly, as she popped a handful of peanuts from the bar into her mouth.

“No! I didn’t say that. I told him my parents wouldn’t understand and I didn’t want them to think badly of him.” My tone was definitely defensive.

“Syd, why didn’t you want your parents, or anyone for that matter, to find out about Jack’s production business?”

“Because I didn’t want them to judge him.” I held my head up high, my response indignant.

“What did Jack do that they would judge him for?”

“He didn’t do anything. People will judge him just because of his business. People are judged based on who and what they affiliate with, like it or not.”

“And since you are with Jack, people will judge you based on how they perceive him?”

My shoulders slumped a little. “I guess so.”

“So you are concerned about you, not only about Jack. You basically told him that you were embarrassed of him, Syd.”

I hated that Sienna was right. I wanted so badly to tell her that I didn’t care if people judged me because of Jack’s business. But the truth was, I did. I never stopped to think about it, but I did care what people thought. Deep down I knew it was shallow, but I had to be honest with myself. If our roles were reversed and I realized that Jack was embarrassed about a part of me, even the tiniest most insignificant part of me, I would be hurt more than I wanted to think about.

My head fell back as I growled. “Ughhh.” I wanted to kick myself for being such a selfish, immature girl. “What am I going to do, Sienna?”

Sienna smiled a devilish full smile and wiggled her eyebrows. “I have a plan.”

Of course she did. That was why she was my best friend since third grade.

Chapter 8

The next week and a half flew by with back to back shows and no downtime between concerts in Sweden and Austria. The tour manager approached Sienna and I about cutting a single while we were on tour so they could work some radio airplay ahead of the cities we were going to play in, to gain some following. We planned to record in Northern Italy for three days while we played venues in Milan and Florence.

I couldn’t wait to tell Jack that we were going to record one of our songs. Sienna and I had recorded a few songs together years ago when we were younger, but it had been done in a converted garage using old equipment and a mixer who had been stoned most of the time. Jack was happy that I was excited, but voiced some concern over my lack of representation. He didn’t think it was a good idea for us to sign anything without first consulting with an agent and attorney. Neither Sienna or I had ever worked with an agent, but I trusted Jack’s business acumen and was more than happy to allow him to deal with the business aspect of things when he offered.

The day before we were scheduled to begin recording, Jack overnighted Sienna and I a package with contracts to sign. Although Sienna and I would have been happy just to sign whatever was put in front of us without reading, Jack insisted that we both read the contracts, and then arranged a call with our new agent to discuss the details of what we were signing.

Jack’s package also had an iPad with software preloaded for our video chat with the agent. I was initially taken aback by the woman who appeared on the screen for our conference, especially when she introduced herself as Ryan Sealy. Because of the name, I had assumed Ryan was a man. But the woman smiling at us on the other side of the video chat was most definitely a woman — a stunning, perfectly-groomed, well-spoken, intelligent woman. She gave us an overview of her background, most-revered clients and the services she provided. To say her client list was impressive was an understatement. The woman represented half of the artists that had songs on Top 20 radio.