I’d think it was cute if I wasn’t so pissed off at him.

“Can I make you some tea or hot chocolate?” I don’t want to be nice to him right now, but considering he saved my brother from potentially drowning, I feel compelled to at least make him a warm drink.

“Hot chocolate would be great, thanks. Where’s Billy?” Van crosses his arms over his chest, not defensively, more to warm himself up, or at least that’s my impression, based on the way he fights another shiver.

“My parents are getting him warm clothes. If you’re still cold, there are blankets in the living room.” I motion to the couch on the other side of the open-concept room. The kitchen, dining room, and living room are all one big space. I shouldn’t be embarrassed by my family’s home. It’s modest and quaint and a mishmash of other people’s secondhand things, but it’s where I grew up and holds mostly fond memories. Still, I’m self-conscious having him in here, which is ridiculous, considering my current living arrangement is a trailer and he’s now the owner of Bee’s semi-hoarder-style cottage.

“I’m okay. I wasn’t in for very long. I’m sorry about what happened earlier and what I said. I just . . . I saw you with my brother, and then he called and told me he was contesting the will and that you were going to help him declare Bee as incompetent. It was one more thing on top of all the other stuff I’m dealing with, and I overreacted.”

“So you took him at his word rather than asking me my side?” I set the kettle on the stove, happy I have something other than Van to focus my attention on.

“I thought you would tell me, but then you acted like everything was fine. What was I supposed to think?” His voice is softer now, holding none of the accusation it had earlier.

I reduce the heat on the burner and turn to face him, seeing his point, even if it still hurts that he assumed the worst. “I called Bernie as soon as your brother left, but I didn’t have any answers. And honestly, look at what’s happening right now in this house. Since I’ve been home, I’ve been trying to tell my parents that there’s more going on with Billy than they’re willing to admit, and tonight he almost drowns. And probably would have if you hadn’t been there. I was worried that you wouldn’t see what I saw, or believe that your brother could do something like that. Or maybe wouldn’t want to.” The end of my nose tingles, and I pinch the bridge as a distraction, aware I’m on the verge of tears. Which I hate. “Maybe I should have said something right away, but I couldn’t predict what your reaction was going to be. People don’t always want to see the truth, Van, even when it’s standing right in front of them. I’ve been the one trying to open people’s eyes in this house, and it’s exhausting. I was trying to protect you, not hurt you.”

He takes a step toward me. “I’m so sor—”

I hold up my hand to cut him off, because there is more I want to say. “I know you tried to dial it back when we were having that conversation, like you knew you were pushing the limit, but you asked me an impossible question that I couldn’t answer.”

“I shouldn’t have asked you to choose between your family and me. That wasn’t fair.”

“No it wasn’t, but I understand why you did, and you have a right to. The answer isn’t cut and dried, though, which is why I was waiting to talk to Bernie. I was trying to save us both some hurt.”

Van sighs and closes the space between us. He traces the edge of my jaw with his fingertip and then takes my hands in his. “I’m sorry I doubted you, Dillion. I know you have a lot going on, maybe more than I realized, and I should have come out and asked the questions, but my head was a mess. While I love Bee’s cottage, what I’m most worried about losing is you.”

His expression is a mix of worry and apology. As much as it hurt at the time, I can see where it all went wrong. “I can give you a pass on this one, but next time come out and ask me, and I promise if your brother ever tries to blackmail me again, I’ll let you know right away.”

“I’ll punch him in the nuts if he so much as looks at you the wrong way.” Van lifts my hand and kisses my knuckle. “I’m so sorry. I’m a lot to deal with.”

“Like I’m not.” I glance around the house. “And you’re nothing I can’t handle.” I tip my head back, meeting his warm gaze, and my breath catches.

He tips his chin down as the kettle starts to whistle. We both let out strained chuckles. Van brushes his lips against my temple and steps back so I can replace the kettle with the double boiler. I add milk to the second pot and stir while it heats, adding chocolate and whisking until it melts and turns a warm brown color. Van leans against the counter and watches me. I pour the steaming concoction into mugs, adding marshmallows and a dollop of whipped cream before I pass Van a mug.

We sit down at the table next to each other, and I glance over my shoulder to see if anyone is within earshot before I drop my voice and ask, “Can you tell me what happened?”

Van shrugs. “I don’t really know, but I went down to the dock to clear my head. Billy showed up and just stripped down and jumped right in. He was talking to himself, so at first I thought he wasn’t alone, but when I realized he was and that he was struggling, I rushed to help him. When I asked him what he was doing, he said he couldn’t shower in the house because it’s bugged and he’s being watched.”

“Bugged? He’s never been afraid of spiders before.”

“No. Not insect bugs, but like the way feds wire places in TV shows.”

“So he thinks the police are watching him? Why? Because of his DUI?”

“I don’t know. Maybe? He wasn’t making much sense.”

I rub the back of my neck. “This is worse than I thought. I think there’s more going on with him than just taking too many painkillers and drinking too much.”

“Do you think he’s gotten himself into more trouble? Like he has a drug problem?”

“No. Well, maybe he’s using the painkillers and the alcohol to self-medicate, but I have a feeling it’s mental health. My great-aunt always struggled with ups and downs, much the same way Billy does. But I think back then people would call her eccentric and brush it off. Based on the stories I’ve heard, it was a lot more than that. She was anxious and paranoid. She was always talking about conspiracy theories, to the point of being obsessive about it. I don’t know if it’s hereditary or not, but if it is, Billy could be facing the same thing. He’s always been one of those people who thinks everything is a conspiracy. I’m concerned he needs help, and not the kind any of us can give him.”

Van flips his hand over, palm up, and I slip mine into his. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do or say to make it better, but I’m here, and I’ll help however I can.”

“If you hadn’t been there tonight, who knows what would have happened.” My voice cracks. There’s a very real possibility that Billy might not have been found until it was too late to help him.

Van puts an arm around me. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be all right. We’ll figure it out.”

When my mom comes back to the kitchen, I can practically feel her embarrassment. As it is, her cheeks turn red. “I’m so sorry, Van. Poor Billy has been having a rough time, and I think he had too many beers. I’m so glad you were down there to help him get back up.”