“We’re going out to eat? Twice in one month?” Harrison looks over at me with wide eyes.

“Sure. Why not?”

“Because I might die of a preservative overdose. You’ve said it yourself. Are you trying to kill me?”

“Not today.”

We make our way into the only Mexican restaurant in town that has a decent gluten-free menu. Harrison orders nearly everything on it; the kid is insatiable and he doesn’t move a muscle except to go from point A to point B. I don’t know how he squeaks through life with his pants sagging—no gut and no ass.

“What you played earlier left me speechless.”

“What do you mean?” He sips his water.

“I mean you’re a pretty talented kid. If you want to take lessons or join the band or … I don’t know, something like that. I’d do whatever I could to make it happen.”

He shrugs. “I just like to play. Ellen says I don’t really need a teacher.”

“You like Ellen?”

Another shrug. “Yeah.”

“I do too.”

He nods.

“What would you think of me asking her out on a date?”

“Sex?” His head snaps up as everyone in the restaurant turns toward us for a few awkward seconds.

I look around giving an apologetic cringe.

“A date, Harrison.”

“People have sex on dates. You want to have sex with Ellen?”

“Shhh …” I close my eyes and sigh. “People go to dinner and maybe a movie on a date.”

“So, no sex?”

“Harrison …”

He shakes his head. “Just promise no sex with Ellen and no sex with my teachers. I have straight A’s right now.”

“Ellen is not your teacher.”

“She’s my friend—my friend. Why do you have to have sex with her? Can’t you find your own friends?”

The waiter sets down chips and salsa. I cringe. If Harrison could stop saying sex, this night would go much better.

“Dinner, Harrison. Did you hear me say dinner? Maybe a movie.”

“And …” Harrison leans toward me, eyes wide.

“And I take her home.”

“No sex?”

The little shit. I’m ready to strangle him. I don’t care what type of musical savant he may be. “No sex.” I’m going to Hell anyway. What’s a little lie on top of everything else?

“Are you going to kiss her?”

I loosen my tie and scratch my neck. I’m developing an allergy to Harrison too. “Maybe.”

“Then no.” He shakes his head a half dozen times. “Kissing leads to sex. They taught us that in school last year.”

“Somehow I don’t think that was the point of the lesson.”

“I’m not lying. Call my health teacher and ask her.”

“No kiss. No sex. Dinner and a movie.”

“Can I come?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because children don’t go on dates with adults.”

“Well, if you’re not having sex, then what’s the big deal?”

“We want to have adult conversation.”

“About what?”

“Jesus … fucking kill me now,” I mumble with my hands over my face.

“Did you say fuck?” The kid has no volume to his voice. Everything is megaphone volume.

“Harrison …” I tilt my head and give him a last-warning look that he knows very well.

He stares at his straw, refusing to look at me. It’s his usual reaction when he’s pushed me to my limit. A year ago he would have kept going—always hell-bent on bringing me to my knees. But the past year has been better. I don’t fear the meltdowns like we’ve had in the past.

We finish dinner in a much welcome silence. I’m sure the rest of the patrons appreciate it as well. By the time we get home, he holes up in his room while I applaud myself for making it this far in parenting a pre-teen without a single drop of alcohol in my blood. Had I not killed my wife, she would have been proud of my restraint too.

By midnight, I’m still wide awake, thinking about Ellen. I stare at my phone and decide to call her.

“It’s past your bedtime, Mr. Hopkins.”

I smile. “I didn’t know if you’d be home yet.”

“Just walked in the door fifteen minutes ago. I’m playing with my babies.”

I try not to cringe, but my face automatically goes there when she mentions those rats. “Did Amanda spill all of my deep dark secrets?”

“Sadly … no. She’s loyal to a fault. I don’t know why you insist on firing her every day. She didn’t even ask about the ‘heat’ between us.”

“She’s snarky to a fault … like someone else I know.”

“How is Harry?”

I chuckle. “He’s challenging. We went to dinner tonight. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ll be able to return to that same restaurant ever again.”

“Do tell.”

I tell her about our conversation. She laughs and tries to reassure me it could have been worse. I’m not convinced of it. She tells me about her girls’ night out. She wins. Harrison’s display was not even close to how those women acted.

After the laughter dies down, a moment of silence settles on the line.

“So …” she says. “About this date …”

I laugh. “You mean the no-sex, no-physical-contact date?”

“Yeah, that one. Are you going to call me, text me, or pass me a note at work?”

“I’m offended you find me so unoriginal. I usually go for skywriting, but I’d bet you’d rather jump from the plane than have it write you a message, since you’re so cool.”

“Intrigued about my life, are you? Looks like we’ll have plenty to discuss on our no-sex date. I want to know all about your brief football career. I like football. We should play sometime.”

“Rats and football? You’re full of surprises.”

“Would you want me any other way?”

No. I wouldn’t. She’s shown me a glimpse of the tragedy in her past, but I know there’s some good stuff too. I want to know everything, but I want to take my time.

“Who’s your favorite football team?” I ask.

“Pro or College?”

“Both.”

“Patriots and University of Miami.”

“Ah … are you serious? How did this happen?”

She laughs. “I’m from New England, but I went to college in Miami. I’m sure you’re a Minnesota fan.”

“Of course.”

“And college?”

“Nebraska.”

She laughs again. “Harrison had no clue where you went to college.”

“Of course he didn’t.”

“He’s great. I love my time with him.”

“He thinks you’re his friend. He said I should find my own friends.”

“Well, you only have one. He really should share me.”

I lean back and run my hand through my hair. “Can’t blame him. I don’t want to share you.”

“Sorry. If I end up having to choose between the two of you, I’m going to have to go with Harry because he loves music and he loves my rats.”

“Rats.” I shake my head. “At what point did you forego the obvious choice of a cat or dog and decide on rodents?”

“That’s…” I can hear the yawn in her voice “…a story for another time.”

“I’ll let you go to sleep.”

“What are you doing Saturday?”

“The usual. Exercise. Working in the yard and my greenhouse. Dragging my son out of his room to get fresh air.”

“Let me make dinner at my place for you and Harrison.”

“You cook?”

She giggles. “Yes. Don’t act so surprised.”

“Harrison has a strict diet.”

“I know. Text me a list of things he can’t have.”

“I’ll feel like a third wheel.”

“Poor baby. We’ll try to include you in the rat play.”

“Maybe we should have dinner at my house.”

“Harry likes to play with my rats. Do you want them at your house?”

“Good point. What time?”

“Six?”

“Six it is. Goodnight.”

“Night, Flint.”

I toss my phone on the bed beside me and grin like a fool. My face doesn’t know how to handle the upward turn of my lips. For now … I let myself believe I deserve this chance, this feeling, this woman. Nothing lasts, but I want to take this as far as I can because it feels so fucking incredible to feel again.

*

Ellen

I spend Saturday morning tidying up my apartment and cleaning the rat cages, even though Flint’s unexpected visit the other night happened to be when things were a bit messy. Hopefully the naked-and-willing woman distracted him from focusing on the clutter.

The place smells like apples and cinnamon from the crisp in the oven, and I made a pot of chicken noodle soup with gluten-free noodles. I also changed my outfit five times like a sixteen-year-old on her first date. There’s no need to be nervous. Flint found me desirable in fuzzy socks and messy hair, but this no-sex thing makes me nervous. I want to make sure he continues to find me desirable until we can work something out with Harry.