“I lived at home, but I had to get a degree. I had to get a good job.”

“Liar. We had plenty of money.”

“We had the family money.” Again, she thought, go over it all again, stay calm. “But Mom wasn’t stable, JJ. You know she wasn’t, and she had control of the money.”

You weren’t stable either, she thought. I knew it. I always knew.

I did my best! It’s not my fault.

She had to draw careful breaths as the words pushed up, wanted to spill out.

“I lived at home right through college. I lived at home when I got a job. I wanted you to go to college, JJ. To get away, start your life, but—”

“School’s for suckers. You went off traveling around in your business suits.”

“I took you with me whenever I could. Especially after Mom died.”

“Before, plenty of times you left me with her, left me to clean up her messes, to hide the pills, to listen to her bitching. You weren’t here to listen to her bitching, to hear her going off on Dad when she had one of her raves. You weren’t here when she laughed and laughed and said how she was glad he was dead. How she was glad she helped tell the world what a cheating bastard he was. How she’d laugh and laugh, and cry and cry.”

She hadn’t dated, Nikki thought. Hadn’t gone to clubs, to the movies. It had been school and home, then work and home.

The traveling? She often thought the travel demands of her job had saved her sanity.

But she had to keep him calm, had to convince him to let her go.

“I’m sorry, JJ. I’m sorry I wasn’t here all the time, but—”

“You weren’t here when she told me she knew all along, she had a whole list of women he’d fucked around with. How I could stop worshipping at his dead feet if I wanted to be a real man. She kept that list, too. And she dug it out and tossed it at me. Said if he’d loved me so much, he’d have kept his vows. She said terrible things, kept saying them. I could’ve strangled her then and there.

“But I didn’t.”

She felt the cold, deep in her belly. More than fear now. “What did you do?”

“Gave her what she wanted. Pills. And more pills. Helped her upstairs and into bed, and gave her more pills. Then I watched her die, and went out and had myself a couple beers.”

“She was our mother.”

“She was a pill-popping bitch who killed our father. Killed him just as much as the rest of them. And you came home, found her, called nine-one-one, called me while I was having those beers. Crying for her, crying like she hadn’t been a chain around our necks for years.”

He smiled again. “And we got the money, didn’t we?”

He reached into the box, took out a package of Frosted Mini-Wheats, and began to snack. “I went traveling with you because I wanted to see some of the country, see if I saw a place that looked like mine. And you nagging me brainless about college or trade school or getting a good job. I was good with my hands, you’d say, and you had that much right. I used them to get myself in and out of houses, take what I wanted if I wanted. But I kept thinking about that list.”

He popped cereal into his mouth. “Sure, stealing was fun, but it didn’t have real purpose. A man’s got to have real purpose in his life. I thought about killing those who killed my father. And what do I see one day on the TV when I’m bored shitless and you’re off trying to make people do what you want them to do? I see that little bitch on some fucking talk show talking herself up. Talking about a new generation. And that bullshit.

“So I sat down and wrote her a poem. Fuck you, you should be dead. And I’m going to kill you one day. But poetically.” That struck him as funny, so he laughed and laughed.

Too much like their mother, Nikki thought.

“I wanted to kill her right off, but I knew something that sweet needs to wait. Not just a dish best served cold, but one you can heat up again when it’s going to be the most tasty. So I killed one of the others. Felt so good. That held me awhile. And I liked writing the poems. One a year at first. I figure she’ll get to know it’s coming and that’ll keep her scared.”

“JJ, please listen to me.”

He wasn’t listening, he wasn’t hearing her. He only heard his own thoughts.

“But she just kept on making those goddamn DVDs, kept doing whatever she pleased. Anyway.” He closed the cereal box again. “Not for much longer.”

“JJ, you need to let me go.”

He gave her that smile again, the one that curdled her blood.

“After I went to the trouble of putting that bolt in the wall? And I was going to use this on her when I was ready. Figured we’d have a nice, long conversation before I beat her to death. That’s how I want to end her.”

“JJ, you know I won’t tell anyone any of this. I’ve always looked out for you.”

“Looked out for me when it suited you.”

“That’s not true, now, you know it’s not. I’m afraid for you. You have to stop or you’ll get caught. It’s not your fault, but you have to stop. They don’t know where you are, so you can go back, just say enough. I’d never tell them how to find you. You’re the only family I’ve got left.”

“Family, my ass.” He sneered at the word, and his eyes went bright.

Too bright.

“Then again, if you weren’t family, I’d’ve just killed you. Instead I’ve got you in here. You got a toilet, a sink so you can get water. I got food in this box.”

He tapped it, then shoved it across to her.

“And don’t worry about the office. I texted them from your phone. Said you had a family emergency out of town, and you’d need to take your two-week vacation. Oh yeah, texted your cleaning service. They won’t come in for the next few weeks.”

Her breath started coming too fast, short and fast.

“Please, please, please, don’t leave me chained up like this. My vision’s blurry, JJ, and I’m queasy. I could have a concussion.”

“You’ll live.” He pushed up. “I’m going to get that nice hot shower now. I’ve been on the road awhile. Then I’m taking what I want, as what’s in this house is as much mine as yours. Since I left the truck I stole in Kansas in a dicey neighborhood, I imagine it’s stripped clean by now. So I’ll be using your car.”

“Don’t do this. Don’t. I’m your sister.”

“You can reach the sink, the toilet. I’ll be back when I’m finished in this part of the world.”

“JJ, please. Don’t leave me like this.”

He just closed the door behind him.

She had to slap a hand over her mouth to hold back the scream. He might come back, hit her again. Or worse.

And he would do worse eventually, she knew that now. Because she’d seen, she’d accepted what she’d always known.

Neither of their parents had been stable.

And her brother was insane.

For a while she wept, and tried to chase away the voices in her head telling her she’d known, she’d always known her brother wasn’t right.

She hadn’t known he’d killed their mother—she hadn’t. But she’d wondered. His voice on the phone when she’d called to tell him, so cool and easy. And his eyes when he came home, pretending to care, so empty.