My eyes moved over my made up face. Then they moved over the hair I’d curled into big soft curls and let fall around my shoulders. Then they took in the silky, sapphire-colored, blousy top I had on that came up in gathers to my neck and wrapped around with a wide sash which tied at the back of my neck, totally exposing my shoulders, arms and back. And last they took in the nice jeans and awesome silver belt I was wearing.

And I knew.

I knew I couldn’t do this. I had to rectify my mistake.

I heard the front door open.

Mitch was back from taking the kids to Penny’s. We were going out to dinner.

So that meant I had to rectify my mistake now.

* * * * *

I was clueless at the best of times but apparently when my life was in turmoil, something that hadn’t happened since I’d moved away from my crazy, mean Mom, it hadn’t happened because I guarded against it every second of every day, I was even more clueless.

But two days before I’d woken up in a dream come true after a night that included spending time with Mitch on the couch which was (almost) a different kind of dream come true. I fought it but not hard enough. It lulled me, sneaking up on me, taking over my safe cocoon and wrapping me in one that felt safer, snugger, warmer and much, much better.

* * * * *

The morning Mitch’s Mom and sister came over, Mitch made oatmeal while decreeing he was taking Billy to school. He did this again without discussing it with me. Then again, he was going out, I had Billie to look after so I didn’t argue since his bossy edict made sense.

He had a shower while I talked to his (surprisingly) easy to gab with Mom and sister who were both really nice with Penny being very forthright and equally very funny and his Mom letting Penny mostly carry the show while smiling sweetly a lot.

Mitch took off to take Billy to school and himself to work. But not before he grabbed my hand, led me to the door where we stood with our audience watching (including Billy standing right there) and said good-bye like an old married couple. That was to say he curved an arm around my waist, pulled my body into contact with his, brushed his lips against mine then muttered there, causing a belly whoosh, “See you tonight, honey.”

Then he and Billy were gone. I was in a daze that took awhile to shake off and Mrs. Lawson (who insisted I call her Sue Ellen) and Penny hung around and gabbed with me until Billie got up. They stayed long enough to meet Billie and for Billie to charm them then they left.

Mitch called me late morning to ask about Billie and I slid deeper into my dream world listening to his deep voice on my cell phone asking about Billie. In this dream world, I told him she was fine, up, her appetite was normal and all seemed well in Billie world.

Then he asked me about my day and I told him I was doing laundry, going to the grocery store and picking up Billy and asked if I could go to my place to do the laundry. Then he told me to use his washer and dryer. I decided not to argue because there was no purpose but I would add laundry detergent to my grocery list so we didn’t use all of his.

Still in the dream world, I shared that I’d called my insurance agent the day before and asked if I could get into my apartment the next day because the agent was coming over to inspect the damage and make a report. To this, Mitch told me he didn’t want me over there unless he or LaTanya or someone was with me, asked when the agent was coming and informed me he’d meet him. I argued about this because the agent was coming at eleven and Mitch would have to leave work. Mitch told me the Station was just a ten minute drive and Pierson’s was not and it wasn’t a big deal. Then I told Mitch he was doing too much. Then Mitch said something in his gentle voice that ended with “baby” and I immediately agreed with a breathy, “Kay.”

Argument over.

I asked him if he wanted pizza for dinner. He said that would be great and informed me his sister and mother liked me. Then I let the happy whoosh that created flow through me before I informed him I liked them.

The conversation went on with him telling me we had reservations at North for Thursday night. I informed him I liked North because I did and I also spoke so I wouldn’t hyperventilate at the thought of an actual, bona fide, official date with Ten Point Five Detective Mitch Lawson. Then he told me Billie and Billy were spending that night at Penny’s house. I didn’t argue about this either because I figured at this point I was turning insane and also thinking about why Billy and Billie were spending the night with Penny would definitely make me hyperventilate.

We hung up after what was a surprisingly lengthy, easy, informative but chatty, warm, familiar and intimate conversation.

So, with Mitch off the phone, I allowed myself to hyperventilate.

Then I loaded Billie up in my car, got the stuff for my barbeque chicken pizza, came home and immediately put the chicken to marinade. I did laundry and cleaned the house from top to bottom as a small thank you to Mitch for being so cool and letting us stay there. Then I went to go get Billy. When we were home I helped him with his homework. Then, because it was warm and summer was coming, we all walked to the playground down the greenbelt and Billy horsed around while Billie sat in my lap and we swung in a swing.

We came back and I made the pizza having to do the crust by hand because my breadmaker was at my house.

Then Mitch came home.

“Mitch!” Billie shouted, launching herself off the couch, hurtling the short expanse to the door that he’d taken one step through and wrapping her arms around his hips, giving him a tight hug leaning her head way back to look up his long length. “We’re havin’ Auntie Mara’s chicken pizza!”

Mitch’s hand cupped the back of her head as he grinned down at her and muttered, “I know, gorgeous.” Then he leaned down, picked her up, stepped out of the door with her in his arms and closed it while asking, “You doin’ better, honey?”

She nodded enthusiastically.

“Good,” he murmured and I actually saw his arms give her a squeeze which made another sweet whoosh swoop through my belly. Then his eyes went to Billy and he called, “Hey Bud.”

“Hey Mitch. My homework’s all done,” Billy announced swiftly and the swift way he announced it was not in a braggy kid way or the precursor to asking for something after pointing out he’d been good. It was something else, something that didn’t sit right with me and I studied him trying to figure it out but stopped studying him when Mitch plonked Billie over the back of the couch so she was seated beside me then his lips were at my neck.