“Billy knows there’s no Santa Claus. Bill already told him so he wouldn’t have to buy him presents at Christmas,” I shared more information that cemented the fact that my cousin Bill was indeed an assclown. Not that Bill needed it. His assclownedness was carved in marble.

Mitch shook his head and muttered, “Priceless.”

I pressed my lips together.

Mitch leaned in closer. “I broke through with him. He doesn’t trust anyone except you and I broke through. Then you broke that. You did that, Mara.”

“I’m sure you’ll break through again this weekend, Mitch,” I said softly.

“I’m not considerin’ Billy doesn’t give much of a shit who treats him right. What he does give a shit about is who treats his sister right and who treats you right and he thinks I walked away on Monday and left you to fend for yourself. And he might only be nine years old but he still knows exactly the load you took on takin’ on him and his sister. So now he thinks I’m a dick. And you did that.”

He was right. I did do that. Crap.

“I’ll explain things to him,” I assured.

“Right, bet you’ll be good at that since Billy’s more clued into what’s goin’ on than you are.”

My body stiffened and I whispered, “Can we not go there again?”

Mitch grew silent and he did this to study me again. Then he returned to his earlier theme and asked softly, “What kind of people are you, Mara?”

Mitch was using a soft voice. Mitch’s voice sounded nice soft. If Mitch talked to me soft for long, the jig would be up as in, I’d throw my arms around him and declare my undying love for him. Therefore I decided it was time to give him an answer.

“Not your kind, Mitch.”

His brows drew together and he asked, “What’s my kind?”

“Not my kind.”

“There it is,” he whispered.

“There what is?” I whispered back.

“I was wrong. When you’re in your head, it isn’t a decent place to be. It’s a twisted, f**ked up place to be but you’re so shit-scared to leave it, it’s the only place you’re willin’ to be.”

I put gentle pressure on my hands at his biceps before saying, “I know you’re smart and I know you’re a detective but I also know you don’t know everything. I especially know that you think you’ve figured me out but you don’t know everything about me.”

“Then prove me wrong,” he returned instantly.

“You don’t know it but you don’t want me to do that,” I advised.

“Why? Because you’re not my kind?”

I nodded.

“Then you’re wrong and I’m right. I do know everything about you. Because out here in the real world, there aren’t ‘kinds’ and only someone twisted and f**ked up or just plain stupid thinks there are. Since I don’t think you’re the last one that only means you’re the first two. But you waste your life thinking that way then you’re all three.”

With that infinitely successful verbal strike, he quickly let me go. I teetered as I turned and watched him walk out of the store. I did this with my nose stinging again but this time I wasn’t able to hold back the wetness that hit my eyes and my vision went blurry.

“You didn’t even get close to the Spring Deluxe!” I heard Mr. Pierson call after the door closed on Mitch.

I sucked in a shaky breath. Then to hide my tears, I called back without looking, “Mitch is set with his mattresses, Mr. Pierson!”

“Shame,” I heard Mr. Pierson mutter as a tear slid down my cheek.

It was. A crying shame.

Chapter Nine

I Could Work with This Mara

I pulled into the complex listening to Nick Drake’s “Pink Moon” which was on my Premier Chill Out playlist, the first one I’d made.

I needed to chill out.

It was Saturday, nine forty-five at night and I was driving from work to home, a home where Mitch was. I was exhausted beyond any exhaustion I’d ever felt in my life. My exhaustion crept deeper just knowing I’d be facing Mitch and everything else I would be facing in the coming days and weeks and I didn’t even know what that would be. I just knew it would be exhausting.

On my day off Wednesday, I’d taken the kids to school and then went home and dragged all of my stuff out of the second bedroom. I found places for some of it in my room, my storage unit and the living room. Then the delivery guys delivered and set up the beds and two dressers I bought from Pierson’s. They also took away my futon because I gave Jay, one of the delivery guys, a screaming deal on it. During this, I did laundry. After it, I went to the grocery store.

Kids were little but I found they made more than their fair share of laundry and they also went through more than their fair share of food.

I dragged the food home, tidied the house and after this, I found the day was already gone and I was nearly late leaving to get the kids. I ran back out to my car, picked up the kids and took them to the mall so they could pick their bedclothes for their new beds. Then we went to get them some shoes. Billy’s tennis shoes were falling apart and Billie’s shoes were scruffy and didn’t match the cute outfits Mitch bought her which, every girl knew, wouldn’t do.

While we were getting Billie shoes, we found more shoes Billie had to have (this was Billie’s idea but I had to admit I agreed, they were adorable little girl shoes and she had to have them). Then I decided that both Billie and Billy needed more than a few decent outfits and they definitely needed new pajamas and underwear so we got more clothes. Then I decided to quit spending money or we’d be eating canned soup until my next payday. So we went home and we had dinner. I made up their beds and put their clothes in their new dressers. Then I helped them with their homework which luckily, considering their ages, wasn’t too taxing. Finally they went to bed and I cleaned up after dinner.

Then I called Lynette to fill her in on everything. As in everything. Including Mitch. Before she could wind herself up into lecture mode and try to convince me I was the Ten Point Five I was not, I told her I was tired and had to crash. She let me go because she was nice and because she knew after years of trying her lecture wouldn’t get her anywhere.

LaTanya had the day off on Thursday and watched the kids for me that day. Since LaTanya wasn’t on the pickup and drop off list, this necessitated me driving the twenty minutes to their school, the half an hour to the complex to drop them off at LaTanya’s, then the half an hour back to Pierson’s, which meant my lunch hour went long. Mr. Pierson didn’t say a word but I knew I couldn’t do that often or the kids and I wouldn’t be eating canned soup. We’d be dumpster diving and living under a tarp.