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My heart skipped, I let out my breath and closed my eyes.
God, that felt good.
No, that felt great.
I opened my eyes as Mitch kept going.
“And I grew up in a close family and I always knew I wanted one of those too. So, I cannot promise you life is gonna run perfect. I cannot tell the future. What I can say is, what we have when you and me are tossin’ a ball or mannin’ the grill or sittin’ at the table doin’ your homework, that means something to me. It’s important to me. And when something’s important, you take care of it. I have times like that with your sister and Mara. Those times mean something to me. They’re important and I’ll promise you this right now, I’ll do everything in my power to take care of it, all of it, all of you. I can’t tell the future but I can promise you that. Now, do you trust me?”
Billy’s hand clenched mine as he whispered, “I trust you, Mitch,” and I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
Mitch didn’t miss a beat. “Good,” he muttered. “So, Mara appreciates it when you run the vacuum and we’ll expect you to do your chores and get good grades but you gotta stop knockin’ yourself out to make life smooth for everybody. From now on, you just be Bud. Let life be what it’s gonna be and trust in the fact that we’ll face whatever’s comin’ as a family. Can you do that for Mara and me?”
“Yes,” Billy whispered as his hand held mine harder and another tear fell down my cheek.
“Good,” Mitch muttered again then he lifted a hand, curled it around Billy’s neck and he pulled him even closer to his face. And when he got him close, his face changed in a way I understood immediately and I prayed Billy, who didn’t miss anything, understood it too.
But he didn’t have to.
Because Mitch laid it out.
“I love you, Bud,” he whispered to Billy and two more tears escaped.
“I love you too, Mitch,” Billy whispered back, my breath hitched and both males’ eyes came to me.
I waved my wineglass at them and murmured, “Don’t mind me. Have your moment.”
Mitch leaned back, letting Billy go and grinning at me. “Men don’t have moments.”
“You do,” I returned. “I’m witnessing one.”
“This isn’t a moment, honey, it’s a meeting of the minds,” Mitch contradicted me.
“It’s a moment, Mitch,” I contradicted him.
Mitch transferred his grin to Billy and asked, “Are we having a moment?”
Billy stared up at Mitch then he looked at me.
Then he answered, “Nope.”
Billy didn’t even know what a moment was. He was just agreeing with Mitch because Mitch was a guy and I was a girl who was crying.
I rolled my eyes, gave his hand another squeeze, let it go and then swiped at the wet on my face, muttering, “Whatever.”
When I quit swiping, I looked back at my boys to see them sharing a smile.
Witnessing that, it took some effort but only one more tear escaped rather than me bursting into thousands of them and I succeeded in this endeavor by doing what any girl would do to succeed in this endeavor. I sucked back more wine.
“Right. That’s done, bedtime,” Mitch decreed, lifting his legs off the coffee table so Billy could get through.
Billy jumped up and rounded the couch while Mitch and I watched him go.
He stopped halfway to the mouth of the hall and turned back to Mitch.
“Thanks for today, Mitch, it was fun.”
“We’ll do it again, Bud,” Mitch replied. “Now hit the sack. Yeah?”
Billy nodded. “Yeah. ’Night, Mitch,” he muttered, looked at me and called, “’Night, Auntie Mara.”
“Goodnight, honey,” I called back.
Billy resumed moving to his room. I looked at Mitch mostly because he’d leaned into me and shoved an arm between me and the couch. He was pulling me into him and I was concentrating on not spilling any wine as he executed this maneuver.
I succeeded and was settling into my man to relax with him, wine and candles when we heard, “Auntie Mara?”
Mitch and I both twisted our necks to look over the back of the couch. When we did, we saw Billy standing just outside the shadows at the mouth of the hall.
“Yeah, honey?” I called back.
Billy held my eyes.
Then he announced, “Billie looks like you.”
I didn’t know where he was going with this but I answered with the truth. “Yes, she does, Bud.”
“Do you think I look like Mitch?” Billy asked.
Oh God.
Oh God.
“Yes,” I answered softly.
“That woman at that restaurant, she said we had a beautiful family,” Billy reminded me and Mitch’s arm around me grew tight.
“She did,” I told him. “And we didn’t get it then but she was right.”
Billy kept hold of my eyes then his shifted to Mitch before they moved to the floor and he asked, “Mitch, you marry Auntie Mara, can Billie and me have your name?”
Oh God!
God, God, God!
“You want it then absolutely,” Mitch replied.
I started deep breathing.
Billy’s eyes came back to me.
Then, even though he whispered it, I heard him when he said, “You should know, I love you too, Auntie Mara.”
Then he disappeared in the shadows.
My breath hitched again and this time I didn’t succeed in holding back the thousands of tears. Luckily, I did succeed in not bursting into loud ones, just lots of silent ones.
Mitch divested me of my wineglass, I burrowed into him and when he’d put my glass by his beer on the coffee table, he pulled me into both of his arms.
It took some time but I pulled myself together.
Then I whispered into his neck, “I love you Detective Mitchell James Lawson.”
Mitch’s arms gave me a squeeze. “I know, baby. I love you too.”
“That was done well, honey.” I shifted to kiss his throat then tilted my head back to look at him to find he’d tipped his down to look at me. “Thank you.”
“Anytime and every time, sweetheart,” Mitch replied.
I liked that.
Anytime and every time, now and throughout our lives with our family.
Again, my soul sighed but my mouth smiled.
“Proud as hell of you, what you did earlier with your mother and aunt,” Mitch told me.