“Everyone wants to spin this so it’s something more, but it’s not. Even if Kian hadn’t killed him, Edmund might’ve killed someone else. He was sick.” And twisted. He deserved to die. “Kian probably saved someone else’s life, too, that day. That’s it. That’s all there is.”

The silence was so deafening. It was thick, heavy like my heart.

Erica pointed to the camera and asked softly, “Is there anything else you want to say? A nation is listening.”

Was there? A resounding yes sounded in my head. I made sure I was looking right into the camera, and I sat up. I wanted people to hear this. It was my one-time plea to them, but there was something missing, something else I needed to do. It hit me then. My eyes. I was still hiding, and I couldn’t. Without letting myself second guess myself, I reached up and took my contacts out. There was a soft gasp in the room. I skimmed a fleeting glance at Erica, whose eyes widened, but I looked steadily into the camera. I couldn’t mince words. “This is me. This is all of me.” I waved a hand to my face. “I’m not hiding anymore, and I’m not going to be blamed for what happened to me anymore. From here on out, I would like to live as normal of a life as possible. That’s all I want. I just want to be normal.”

“And,” the other reporter moved forward, signaling to the camera guy, “that’s a wrap.”

Erica still had to finish something up with the camera guy so Wanker and I were waiting by the door when the reporter came over. She smiled, looking up from her phone. “You did so well. Honestly, you were amazing. I checked, and your interview is already trending on social media.”

I nodded. She was saying words, and they had meaning, but I was hollow. Nothing was getting inside and staying there. It was all bouncing around and then leaving me again. I supposed I would care later after I could process what I just did.

“And most of it is positive,” she kept going, scrolling through her phone again. She was beaming down at it. “With Erica’s name on it, I know you just made her career.” She paused to glance up, and waved to my eyes. “And those are breathtaking. You’re going to be a hit.” If our station can do anything further for you, please let us know. We just want to support you.”

Wanker grunted.

She glanced to me, frowning slightly. “What?”

“Nothing.” Wanker said as his hand curled around my shoulder, and he pulled me to his side.

For right now, he was shielding me from her. That much registered with me. I leaned against him, so damn thankful I had gone back to the apartment. She gave us another smile and wandered back to Erica and the camera guy.

Wanker muttered under his breath, “Oh, yes. I’m sure they’d love to support you, and reap the benefits from it, too.”

I closed my eyes. “We had to use someone.”

“I know. Erica said they were the best ones to work with, but still. They’re using Erica, her friendship with you, and you most of all. I’ll be happy when all of this is over.”

I looked up, the corner of my mouth turning down. “You don’t get it.” I pulled away, facing him directly.

“Get what?”

I shook my head. “There’s no going back, Wanker. This is it for me.” I gestured to the camera and where I sat moments ago. “I did all of that for one reason. I need to make things just a tiny bit better. That’s it.” I wasn’t dumb. I knew how people would react. I was known. I’d always be known. “I did that to maybe get people to do things not as much. Not hate me as much. Not bother me as much. Not want to call me names when they see me in person as much. That’s it. I’m not fooling myself. It won’t all go away, but I want some of it to go away. Just a little part of it.” That was all I could ask for, that was all that would realistically happen.

“What about you and Kian?”

I cocked my head to the side. “What do you mean?”

“I saw the looks between you two. You’re together.”

It wasn’t a question. He knew, just like he had known before.

I let out a sigh. “When did you figure it out?”

“When you both came to the apartment—”

I waved that off, shaking my head. “No, not that.”

“Oh.” His head straightened up, and his shoulders rolled back. “I knew you had a secret. You didn’t like crowds or people in the beginning. I figured something happened. You looked a little more like your old self our freshman year, but not enough where I’d put two and two together. I mean, who would? That case was talked about in every house, and why would I question a girl who looks a tiny bit similar to her?” His glasses slid down, and he pushed them back up. “Your contact fell out one day.”

“My contact?”

He nodded. “It was real quick. It came out in the library when we were studying. You took off right away, and you kept your head down, but I saw the color of your eyes. It’s unmistakable.”

I frowned, remembering that day. “That was a year ago. You’ve known for this long?”

He never said a word.

“Yeah. I mean, I understood why you were keeping quiet.” He lifted a shoulder before looking at Erica over my shoulder. “I was going to tell her. I had it all planned out, then a story about you came on the television. It was a coincidence. They were running those stories more often back then, but I watched it differently that time. I knew you and I put myself in your shoes. I got it. I did. I knew why you were hiding, but Erica started going off about you. She thought there was more to the story, how you must’ve manipulated the whole thing and I knew I couldn’t say a word. She wouldn’t have understood back then.” He paused, skirting from me to her and to me again before saying, “She still doesn’t, you know.”