Chapter 12

Taylor followed Sebastian through the darkened shadows of their home. He hadn’t said much since dinner, and his stoic expression lent little insight into his thoughts. She frowned, searching her mind for a way to relieve the tension and silence brewing between them. He’d shut down the moment he’d finished telling her about the shootings and his subsequent blowup with Josh. The divide between the four of them had never felt more painstakingly clear. Everything lately boiled down to him choosing and taking a side. His work, his personal life. Nothing was left untouched, untainted by the heavy pall Marx and SKALS cast over their lives. She knew shutting down and sealing himself off from his emotions was just Sebastian’s way of defending himself and protecting her, but that didn’t make it any easier to bear.
 
Despite his efforts to hide it, she could tell something else was bothering him. Something dark and troubling that he was beyond reluctant to share. Keeping her head down, she prayed for a way to ease the heartache and troubles plaguing his mind. 
 
He paused at the refrigerator long enough to grab a bottle of water, but he didn’t drink it. Instead, he laced his fingers through hers and led her silently up the stairs. Once inside their bedroom, he rested his head against the solid wooden doors for a moment before turning his attention to her. She hated the apprehension and uncertainty etched on his handsome face. Hated the way she knew without catching sight of her reflection that that taut and haunted reflection only mirrored her own.
 
“Seb…”
 
Sighing, he shook his head. “Don’t, Taylor. I know what you’re going to say, but there’s nothing you can do,” he said, working the buttons on his shirt free. His attention remained locked on the task at hand. “It’s Josh’s call. He’s only doing what he thinks is best for himself and his family. I don’t fault him for that, and it hurts to lose him, but I will do whatever it takes to keep you and our child safe.”
 
“I know, Sebby. I just can’t help wondering if things would be different if he knew the whole story.”
 
“I tried to tell him, Taylor. He didn’t want to listen.”
 
“You really don’t think you can trust him?”
 
“I trust him not to stick a knife in my back, but that’s as far as it goes. It doesn’t matter. Partner or not, I refuse to place your safety in someone else’s hands. I do enough of that as it is. I worry about you constantly. I have no idea if you are okay or what is happening when I’m at work. I hate to say this, but we need to distance ourselves from them anyway. I can’t risk Marx finding out about the baby. The thought of me getting married was enough to put him into a tailspin. I can’t imagine his reaction if he found out I was going to have a kid.”
 
“Do you really think Josh would tell him?”
 
Sebastian lowered his head with a sad shake as he tugged his holster strap free. “I don’t know.”
 
Crossing the room, she approached him. She trailed her hands over the outside of his arms, marveling at the hard knots and valleys stretched beneath. Leaning forward, she brushed a kiss across the back of his shoulders. His head fell forward in acceptance and a quiet groan of pleasure rose from his throat. Smiling against him, Taylor dug her thumbs into the taut muscles and worked the dense knots gathered under the surface until Sebastian whirled on her without warning. Menace and brooding desire swam in the sage pools of his eyes.
 
“Don’t start something you aren’t willing to finish, sweetheart. I’m in a mood and there’s no telling what I might do,” he murmured, tracing a finger over the delicate ridge of her collarbone.
 
“I was just trying to help you relax,” she argued, kissing the bandages wrapped around his hand. She hated that he was injured, hated that he’d almost died, and hated the turmoil wreaking havoc on their lives. Some of her angst faded seeing the slow smile easing across Sebastian’s face. Bit by bit, it showcased the deep dimples she had come to know and crave.
 
Peering down at her, he stepped closer and cocked his head. “One touch is all it takes with you, Taylor. Have you not learned that by now?”
 
“They should find a way to bottle your sex drive,” she quipped. “We would make a killing.”
 
Laughing, Sebastian tapped her bottom lip. “There are no labels that could define us, Taylor. Nothing could ever embody what I feel for you. That, darling, is as limitless and untamable as the sea.”
 
“And every bit as dangerous,” she added, trying to ignore the heat that crawled across her cheeks. The warm flush spread and coiled with determination in her belly.
 
Sebastian laughed softly. “Perhaps, sweetheart, but would you really want it any other way?”
 
“No,” she admitted. “I wouldn’t want you any other way.”
 
Her eyes drifted shut as he skimmed his lips across the bare slope of her shoulder. Edging closer, he captured her hands and placed them on his belt buckle as he kissed a slow path down the side of her neck. A delicious chill rippled across her skin while he eased the zipper of her dress down and she unfastened the slender metal buckle at his waist to tug the leather strap free. Groaning against her ear, Sebastian lifted her with ease, coaxing her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bed.
 
Sprawled across the plush mattress she stared up at him. He made no move to touch or kiss her. He kept his weight braced on his arms, peering down at her in contemplative silence and holding her gaze as the breathless seconds ticked by.
 
“What are you thinking?” she whispered, reaching up to stroke the chiseled contours of his face.
 
“I’m merely debating what I am going to do with you now that I have you trapped and helpless beneath me.”
 
“Who says I’m helpless?”
 
The corners of his mouth quirked with faint amusement. “I do,” he stated, lifting a brow. “Just what is it that you think you are going to do, Taylor?”
 
“I could scream,” she whispered.
 
“Mm. You’ve tried that one, darling. All it does is make me think you are rewarding me for my efforts.”
 
“You have a wicked idea of praise, Agent Baas.”
 
“So you claim.”
 
Seconds ticked by before he lifted his hand to brush a dark wisp of hair away from her face. The brooding desire looming in his eyes threatened to steal her breath away. 
 
“You’re going to have to come up with something better than that,” Sebastian finally whispered, trailing a finger down her neck to circle the bared outline of her breast.
 
Taylor arched beneath him and gasped as he captured her nipple and wrung it in a deliciously painful twist.
 
“Do you want to fight me?” he asked.
 
She shook her head mutely.
 
“That’s not an answer, Taylor. Say it,” he commanded, pinching harder and tugging the stiffened peak until he drew a pleading whimper from her throat. “I want to hear the words leave your lips.”
 
“No, Sebastian,” she murmured. “I’ve tried to help you battle your demons, but I was never fighting you.”
 
“Maybe you should fight,” he mused. “I should teach you what to do…how to shut yourself down and survive. If you could get through that, you could get through anything.”
 
Cocking her head, she peered up at him. “What is this? Some kind of test?”
 
“Perhaps,” he admitted.
 
Her shoulders jerked in response. “You have a sick sense of foreplay tonight,” she muttered, turning her head to the side.
 
The atmosphere in the room shifted; the sudden change in momentum seemed to draw all of the oxygen out her lungs with it. Without warning, Sebastian grabbed her face, wrenching her attention back to him. Gone was his smile. Conflict and pleading contorted his brow, replacing the former hints of play.
 
She held her breath, feeling the dark undercurrent of anger seething just below the surface.
 
“This isn’t a game, Taylor. I’m not spiking your fear out of some sick sense of satisfaction,” he warned, his fingers sinking deep into the line of her jaw. “You have no idea what we might be up against here, but it’s not pretty. If Marx or someone else gets their hands on you, I need to know that you will be strong enough to push through that fear. I need to know that, no matter what happens, you will still be capable of thinking. There’s been too many times when I’ve rattled you and you’ve locked up or shut down from fear.”
 
 She pondered his words, trying not to think about what might have elicited that train of thinking. This was the first time he’d ever eluded to the fact that she might be anything but safe behind the armed and guarded confines of their home. She wanted to believe that was because of what had happened before with Laychee. The break-in and subsequent attack had been a heavy blow to Sebastian’s pride, but there was no way to be sure if that was where this sudden surge of doubt and protectiveness stemmed. Not without asking and she wasn’t too sure she wanted to hear the answers. Shaking the dismal thoughts from her mind, she felt her body sag with a dejected sigh.
 
“That’s different,” she managed. “I might not like what happens when I’m in trouble with you, but I know I will live. I don’t have that guarantee with Marx.”
 
Leaning down, he kissed her forehead. “No you don’t, baby, but if anything ever happens, I need you to stay strong and survive because, one way or another, I will find you. I won’t abandon you, Taylor. I promise you that I will always find a way to be with you again. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to be by your side. You need to know that.”
 
“I do know, Sebastian.” 
 
He frowned. Tilting his head, he studied her face. “You’re lying,” he stated softly. “Your mouth claims one thing, but your eyes are telling me a very different story. What is it that you doubt here, Taylor?”
 
Her throat swelled. Sebastian loomed over her, his unyielding expression warning his patience was drawing to an end. He expected a response. Her pulse quickened and a light sweat erupted along her brow. How did she voice her concerns without adding to his worries? Why did their future always have to seem so uncertain? Her love for Sebastian was the only constant in their lives—the only thing that never wavered or changed, even when everything else was falling apart. She didn’t want him to doubt that. Not now. Not when the rest of his life was falling apart at the seams.
 
“It’s not you,” she said. “I don’t doubt you will do everything you can to keep me safe, Seb. I just question how possible that is, and I don’t…” she trailed off with a disheartened slump.
 
“Don’t what?”
 
“I don’t know how you would find me if someone did take me. I believe that you would try. I just don’t see how…”
 
He pressed a gentle finger to her lips. He tried to smile, but it was just a ghost—a mere shadow with no real life or vitality behind it. His eyes lowered and he traced the diamond and amethyst pendant with the shiny metal center he’d given her on Christmas morning. His dimples deepened in a show of reluctance before he swung his stare upward to meet her eyes.
 
“Do you remember how mad I was when you took this off?” he asked.
 
She nodded. That experience was something she would never forget. It had been her first “come to Jesus meeting” with Sebastian’s belt, and his anger had been as sudden as it had been startling. She shivered, remembering the deep bite of the leather as it had repeatedly branded her skin.
 
“There is a reason for everything I do, Taylor, even if you fail to understand it at the time. I was hurt that you could just take something off and cast it aside after I told you it was a reminder of our love, but there was so much more behind it. I told you to keep this necklace with you always and to never take it off. Perhaps now, you understand why.”
 
She stiffened beneath him as his explanation struck home. “You…you’ve been tracking me?”
 
His eyes narrowed slightly. A challenging gleam ignited in their pale depths, daring her to keep pushing the boundaries and questioning his reasons. She knew this was dangerous ground, but they’d come this far and she needed to understand.
 
“You didn’t trust me?” she accused, trying to mask the hurt in her voice.
 
The muscles along Sebastian’s jaw corded. A brief surge of anger darkened his face, casting his chiseled features into stone.
 
“Don’t look at me like that. If I didn’t trust you, you would have never been here, Taylor. You would have never made it out of the woods, let alone survived that first week. It’s not you that I don’t trust, it’s everyone else on the face of this godforsaken planet that raises my doubts.”
 
He rolled away from her with a disgusted shake of his head. She reached for him, only to have him level her with a look that should have dropped her dead. Heart pounding, she lowered her hand.
 
“Before you say something we will both regret I want you to think about one thing. If Laychee’s men had taken you or Marx had decided to toss you in some undisclosed location instead, how would I have found you? The minute I got out of that warehouse, I was pulling up your location on my phone. Injured or not, I was on my way and I would have done anything to get you back. That GPS isn’t something ugly, Taylor. It’s our lifeline in the face of danger.”
 
His words washed over her. Closing her eyes, she tried to see his side of things, but it still stung. It never occurred to her that he might have been tracking her in some way, but had she really expected anything less? In today’s age, even if she had decided to leave him, the necklace would have made little difference. There were cameras on every street corner, at every stop light, and inside every building one could imagine. Even phones and computers had built in cameras or location devices agencies or hackers could trigger. There was nowhere a person could hide. Not anymore. They lived in the age of Google where everything was available to everyone. Privacy and safety didn’t exist.
 
Unable to look at him, she shifted her focus to the ceiling and the gently whirling blades of the fan overhead. 
 
The same applied to Marx and his men. It was why they were both trapped; living under some sick, perpetual shadow they couldn’t escape. She was no safer out there, on her own, than she was here. At least here, she had Sebastian. He had his fair share of flaws and imperfections, but there was no doubt in her mind he would lay down his life for hers or the people he loved.
 
Glancing over, she found him perched on the edge of their bed, his head lowered and his face hidden from view. 
 
“You know that’s not the only reason,” he confessed. “But it is the one that was most important to me. Everything I do is to protect you, Taylor, from yourself and from others. I won’t apologize for that and it is never going to change. I suggest you find a way to make yourself right with it.”
 
The sharp edge creeping into his voice drew her attention. Taylor winced. Just like that, the walls were coming back up. He was hurt and when Sebastian felt wounded, his emotions shut down and his temper flared. She could already feel the distance creeping between them as his accusing glare swung her way. An icy prickle of apprehension danced down her nape, and Taylor frantically searched for a way to undo the damage her curiosity had caused. She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off with a stern shake of his head.
 
“Don’t,” he warned, his voice coming in a harsh rasp. “I don’t want to hear your reasons or excuses. I’ve told you before not to question me. This is why. I can’t lose you, Taylor. I just can’t. I would go out of my mind and die.”
 
“That’s not going to happen, Sebby. This is my home. You are the very air I breathe. Every single beat of my heart is a reflection of you and the life we share.”
 
Keeping his head bowed, he nodded, his shoulders slumping. “Things aren’t getting any better, baby. I’ve tried. I’m so damn tired.”
 
“I know,” she soothed, pressing closer to rub the small of his back.
 
“I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how to make him stop. There’s only one option left, Taylor, but I need to get you somewhere where he can’t get you. I need to make sure you are safe and out of harm’s way.”
 
“Sebastian…” the air fled her lungs. It felt as if the very walls themselves were closing in on her. Panic threatened and she couldn’t breathe.
 
Turning to face her, he took her hand in his. His thumb stroked lightly over the top of her hand, the gesture tender, yet somehow terrifying.
 
“I love you, baby. I love you so damn much it hurts. I have to protect you and our baby. It’s my duty.” Pain ravaged his handsome features, making them furrow and twist. His body rose and fell with his heavy sigh. “Protecting you is my duty. Saving my country from people like Marx and their twisted agendas is my job.”
 
Something hot and scalding pierced her chest. She knew where this was going before he even said the words. Her hold on his hand tightened until her knuckles bleached. 
 
“Sebby….no. Don’t do this. Don’t say that. You promised,” she choked. “You looked me in the eye and you promised me you would never leave.”
 
Rearing back, he snared her cheeks between his hands and tilted her face up to his. His hold was firm and the glint in his eyes hardened. “I will never abandon you, Taylor. I would never just walk away. How could I? You are my heart and soul, the life flowing through my veins and the only thing in this world that keeps me going.”
 
“Then why are you thinking about sending me away?”
 
“Because if there is even a chance of keeping you alive until all of this is over then that is a sacrifice I have to make. Not for me, but for you. For both of you. I promise you when this is all said and done, I will come for you. I will find you, baby. Let me do this much for you. I need to…” He closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping beneath the invisible weight of defeat. “I need to know I tried.”
 
“No,” she said, refusing to let her mind wrap around the things he was saying.
 
He was scared, caged, and faced with an insurmountable amount of worry. As understandable as that was, those things were blinding him and he wasn’t thinking clearly. The reality of their situation was bleak at best. It terrified her to think of where things might lead, especially with the previews of such still so fresh in her mind, but there were no easy answers here and no true forms of escape.
 
“I’m not going anywhere,” she stated. “I’m not stupid. I know what I’m facing, and I know Marx has it in for me, but you and I both know it doesn’t matter where I go. If I leave, he will track me down and he will kill me. That much is guaranteed. I’m not running.”
 
“Taylor…”
 
“No. Just once, you are going to listen to me,” she said. Her voice thickened as she tried to hold her tears at bay, and she ran her fingers over the dark golden stubble on his chin. “I face the same risks either way. I want to stay. I want to be here with you. You are my life and no one else would ever protect me the way you do. I’m strong enough to do this, Sebastian. Let me prove that to you. I should get that choice, Sebby. I should have that much say.”
 
“I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. I couldn’t handle that guilt, Taylor.”
 
“You would have nothing to feel guilty about, because this was my choice. It’s my decision.” She lost her battle and hot tears streamed over her cheeks as she felt the devastating loss and pain their separation would cause. “Don’t make me go. Don’t send me out there where I could die alone and afraid. Please don’t do that to me, Sebastian, please. I want to stay with you and spend every second I can by your side. If anything does happen, I will fight my ass off to survive but if I have to die, I want to do that here. At least I will have spent my last days feeling happy and loved.”
 
“Taylor.” 
 
He tried again, but she cut him off with a muffled sob.
 
“Please don’t do this to me. Please don’t send me away. Please. Just the thought of losing you is killing me.”
 
He hauled her against him, crushing her against his chest. His lips pressed repeatedly against the top of her head in a desperate attempt to calm her down and soothe her. She clung to him, her fingers gouging deep into his shoulders as she tried to muffle her sobs. Pulling her into his lap, he rocked her back and forth while kissing the side of her head. He cradled her close and she could feel the pained tremors running through him as well as the warm droplets that fell from his face and soaked through her hair.
 
After a few moments, Sebastian eased her onto the mattress and stretched out beside her. His hands roamed over her cheeks, drying her tears.
 
“I already have a meeting arranged,” he said. Though his tone was soft, there was a firm edge that warned what he was about to say wasn’t up for debate. “We’re going to have lunch before we head to the airport, and I am going to hear what my contacts have to say. I can’t make any promises, Taylor. Keeping you safe is what is most important to me.”
 
“Does that mean there is at least a small chance?” she asked, unable to keep the shaky hint of hope out of her voice.
 
Forcing a smile, he ran his thumb over her lips. “It depends on what their plan is and what sort of reassurances they can give, but yes.”
 
Sniffing, she turned her attention back to the ceiling and covered the small bulge of her baby bump with both hands. “I hope their plan sucks.”
 
He offered a wry smirk in response. “That kind of attitude and language is only going to get you into trouble, darling. Let’s divert your focus to more important things.”
 
“Like what?” she asked, both tone and voice sullen. 
 
Sebastian raised an eyebrow at her scowling pout. Creeping lower, he planted tender kisses against her abdomen and cradled the small, hard swell below her belly button between his hands. His eyes sparkled as he lifted his gaze to hers.
 
“Our little bobble-head needs a name.”
 
For the moment, he looked so proud…so content, that she couldn’t help but play into his hand. She laughed, squirming slightly as he murmured something against her belly making his breath fan her and the low timbre of his voice vibrate against her skin. Snaring her hips, he stilled her wiggling just long enough to nuzzle the inside of her thigh.
 
“What do you think of Sophia for a girl?” she asked, sucking in a sharp inhale when he ran his tongue over the crease of her leg.
 
“Mm. It’s beautiful. I love it.” Lifting his head, he flashed a boyish grin. “But you’re going the wrong way. Girl names aren’t necessary, darling. I’ve told you this.”
 
Letting her head drop back against the pillows, Taylor rolled her eyes. “Fine. Let’s hear what you have for the boys.”
 
“You first,” he mumbled, rearing up to kiss her stomach before settling back down between her thighs.
 
“I like Samuel or Daniel.”
 
She couldn’t help but laugh at his blatant grimace.
 
“No.”
 
“Benjamin?”
 
His eyebrow crept higher. One corner of his mouth twisted, and Sebastian shook his head.
 
“Fine. Cleatis it is.”
 
Despite her efforts, she couldn’t keep a straight face when she caught sight of his expression. Shocked and sour didn’t begin to cover it. Biting her lip, she still burst into laughter.
 
“Are you trying to get our kid beat up?” he asked, giving a dejected shake of his head.
 
“You know I was joking.”
 
He hooked her legs over his shoulders and met her eyes. “I don’t know. I truly do wonder about you sometimes.”
 
“Well, what are your bright ideas, handsome? You seem so intent on shooting mine down. What do you have in mind?”
 
Sebastian shrugged, his countenance already shifting to one of hunger as he trailed a finger over her clit. “I like strong names, powerful names, something like Xander or Knox.”
 
She pondered that, weighing them. “I like Xander,” she admitted.
 
“Good. That settles it then. Sophie for a girl and Xander for a boy. Now we can focus on other things.”
 
“Such as?”
 
His chuckle was low and raspy as it washed over her. “You know full well what, darling,” he warned, lowering his head.
 
 
 
~*~*~*~
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Taylor tried to focus on the scenery as it rolled by, but her mind was spinning and her stomach was full of a cold and uneasy dread. It should have been a happy time. Their bags were tucked away in the trunk, and in a few short hours, they would be boarding a plane for Hawaii. She’d always wanted to see the ocean. She’d daydreamed numerous times about burrowing her toes into hot, white sand and tried to imagine what the warm, salty wind would smell like as it buffeted her face and whipped through her hair. She should be ecstatic. It was a dream vacation, made even better by taking it with the man she loved, but a heavy pall hung over the day, casting her dreams into shadows. The clouds hanging over her were filled with a darkness and despair so intense it threatened her sanity and made her heart ache.
 
She couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Sebastian. The mere notion left her empty and shattered. Their life together hadn’t been easy. The challenges they’d faced seemed to grow more numerous and difficult by the day, but those struggles had bound them together in a way that could never be undone. He was her heart, her life, the very air she breathed and it killed her to know in a few short days, that could all be gone.
 
He’d held her for most of the night, promising to end things and come back for her as soon as he could. They’d fantasized about the life they would lead then. A life where they would be free to live, laugh, and love as hard and as often as they chose. He’d shared his hopes and dreams for the future. Twining his fingers through hers, he’d talked of a new SKALS, one where the men could live without Marx dictating their every move and action, and by the end of the night, he’d lulled her to sleep by promising her a wedding on the white, sandy shores of Hawaii.
 
Twisting the diamond and platinum ring on her finger, she smiled, thinking of the promises and vows they were going to exchange. It wouldn’t be official in the eyes of the law, but it would be something. Something for them to hold on to in the days and weeks to come. A beautiful culmination of the love they’d fought so hard to keep and sustain.
 
Reaching over, Sebastian squeezed her hand. Her eyes locked on the restaurant and she had to clamp them shut to keep the tears from falling as the lyrics from Ross Copperman’s Holding on and Letting Go drifted from the speakers and hit her.
 
Don’t know if we’ll make it, but we know we just can’t let it show.
 
It’s everything you wanted. It’s everything you don’t.
 
It’s one door swinging open and one door swinging closed.
 
Some prayers find an answer. Some prayers never know.
 
We’re holding on and letting go…
 
She tried. She tried so hard, but she couldn’t hold back the sob that pushed past her lips. Sebastian finished parking the car, shut it off, and pulled her into his arms. Hugging her over the center console, he cradled her against him and brushed a kiss across her temple.
 
“Shhh, baby. Don’t. Don’t cry.”
 
“I don’t want to leave.”
 
“I know, baby. I know,” he murmured, his voice breaking beneath the strain.
 
“Let’s just go. Just take me to the airport…please.”
 
Pulling back some, he cradled her face between his hands and stroked his thumbs over the tears coating her cheeks. “Nothing is set in stone. Let’s just hear what they have to say.” He kissed her forehead. When he eased back, his eyes met hers, his stare tender and probing. “Only one thing is for certain. This isn’t the end. It’s just a stepping stone, baby. I will always be with you, Taylor. I will always be by your side. Every day is the first day of the rest of our lives.”
 
“You and me, Sebby.”
 
The pain on his face lessened some with his smile and he tugged her forward to rest her forehead against his. “Always.”
 
She drew a deep, shuddering breath into her lungs and released it slowly, trying to draw strength from his words. “I love you.”
 
“I love you, too, Taylor. So much. Never doubt that.”
 
She nodded. As much as the prospect of possibly leaving killed her, she would do this. It would break her heart, but she would do what she needed and be strong, if for no other reason than to give him some peace of mind and free his hands up to do what needed done. He had a job to do, and hers was to stand by him and support the choices he had to make.
 
“Okay,” she finally mustered. “But if I do this, and I have to go away, I expect the nursery done when I come back.”
 
His dimples deepened with his grin and the inside of the car filled with his husky laugh. “Light green and jungle theme it is.”
 
“Or silver and moon and stars if it’s a girl.”
 
“Mm hm,” he agreed. “But it’s not going to come to that. Now come on. We’re already late.”
 
The familiar argument brought her comfort. Nudging his arm, she rolled her eyes and unhooked her seat belt. By the time she’d finished and got her purse, Sebastian had already exited the Benz and approached her side of the car. He pulled the door open, extended a hand to help her out, and tucked her beneath the protective shield of his arm. The small family restaurant loomed in front of them and her shoes suddenly felt as if they’d been filled with lead. Giving her shoulders a reassuring squeeze, Sebastian scanned the streets and assessed their surroundings before leading her across the street. Her breath faltered and her pulse quickened but this was it. There was no going back now. It was time to learn her fate.
 
 
 
~*~*~*~
 
 
 
 
 
Sebastian watched Taylor from the corner of his eye. Other than greeting Jack and ordering, she hadn’t said much since they sat down. She was trying hard to be strong, but dark bruise-like shadows cupped her eyes and there was a deep-seeded sorrow to her that even her whimsical smile couldn’t ease or erase. He shook his head and dragged a hand through his hair. This was by far the hardest decision he’d ever had to make. She paled a bit and his brow furrowed, wondering if it was nerves or the heady combination of coffee and deep-fried comfort foods hanging in the air that made her look so ill.
 
Across the table, Jack looked on in silence, his expression grim and apologetic as he studied them over the rim of his mug. Taylor slumped lower and passed the time by picking at the lettuce on her turkey club. 
 
“I’m sorry about the way things panned out,” Jack offered.
 
Sebastian pinned him with a long stare. “As am I. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if your men had succeeded.”
 
“We did the best we could, Baas.”
 
“Your second attempt damn near killed me and took out six of my men. Don’t sit there looking at me as if you expect a pat on the back.”
 
Jack took a long sip of coffee and nodded at the waitress when she stopped to offer a refill. His whiskey eyes lit when the pretty brunette topped off his mug and plied him with a smile, but the years and hardness etching his face returned the minute she left. Leaning back, he stretched his arms across the top of the padded booth.
 
“I don’t know how many times I need to say it, Sebastian, but that helicopter strike wasn’t our doing.”
 
“Right,” he replied bitterly. “I don’t care if it was the FBI, the CIA, NSA or a preemptive military strike. As far as I’m concerned, you’re all rolling around in the same bed. What I want to know is what you are going to do to remedy the mess you’ve made. Marx is oblivious to the toes he’s been trampling. He only has one suspect in mind at this point and that person is me.”
 
Taylor’s wide grey stare swung up from her plate. Seeing the terror and uncertainty streak across her face, he reached beneath the worn Formica table and captured her fingers in a reassuring squeeze.
 
“I had one request, Baas. One. Yet I still don’t have it in my hands.”
 
“You will have it in a few more days. I promise you that.”
 
Glancing in Taylor’s direction, the Federal Agent flushed and lifted his shoulders in an apologetic shrug. “I can’t move forward until I get what I asked for, Sebastian. I could trust the man I met eight years ago, but a lot of time has passed since then. When you are ready to deliver, we will make an exchange.”
 
His eyes narrowed and the familiar bristle of anger crept across his skin. He was about to tear into the man for deliberately putting him at risk and wasting his time when a brief flicker of movement drew his attention across the street. Craning to the side, he tried to get a better view of the man settling against the row of glass storefronts. He regretted it the moment his line of sight opened. The gaunt, hollowed out cheeks and long, beaky nose were features he’d come to know all too well. His chest tightened as he swung his accusing glare in Jack’s direction.
 
“Is something wrong?” the agent asked.
 
“Yes, Jack, there is. What he is doing here?”
 
The older gentleman smiled. “Who Frank? Relax. He’s just keeping an eye on things. Much the same way you have security and one of your men making sure none of this goes too far.”
 
Releasing Taylor’s hand, he cracked the knuckles on his thumbs. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to know the Feds were aware of Jackson and Rupert, but that didn’t mean he liked it. He liked the Sleepy Hollow looking fucker across the street even less—a fact he wasn’t willing to contain.
 
“That man has taken pictures and followed me from one end of the city to the next for months. He threatened my agency and my family, and you’re telling me you are the one who’s behind it?”
 
“We needed to locate you, Sebastian, and to try to get a feel where you stood. Frank Burrell doesn’t work for us. Much like yourself, he’s a private contractor. His job wasn’t to eliminate you. Merely to keep tabs and let you know the game was up.”
 
To say he was annoyed was an understatement. He had half a mind to lunge across the table and plant his fork in Jack’s jugular, bodyguards and backup be damned. His fingers curled around the handle, and he was leaning toward doing just that when the door burst open.
 
Jackson’s smoky silver eyes were wide and wild, the look on his face one of sheer panic. Josh burst through the doors right behind him, forcing Sebastian to his feet. Out of sheer instinct alone, he grabbed Taylor’s wrist, ripping her out of the booth with him. A loud, static voice erupted over Jack’s radio, and he spun, trying to gauge the agent’s face and reaction. Everything was happening too fast.
 
Taylor cried out. He whirled at the sound, but a hard spear to his midsection drove the air from his lungs and brought him up short. The momentum thrust him back and, afraid of hauling Taylor down with him, he let go. That one split second was all it took.
 
“GET DOWN!”
 
Jackson’s frantic shout died beneath a deafening explosion of thunder. The building blew inward in a devastating fireball filled with brick, twisted metal and glass. The flash was blinding, the percussion violent enough to send him and Jackson airborne. Everything brightened, his skin blistered and scorched from the sudden blast of heat. They landed several feet away and another flash detonated in front of Sebastian’s eyes as his skull bounced off the floor.
 
Seconds passed maybe more. Jackson lay stretched above him, his body limp and unmoving. Thick plumes of smoke and dust rolled through the decimated building and sparks flew from the ravaged lighting system overhead. Shoving his teammate off him, Sebastian rolled away and coughed, struggling for a decent breath of air. A high-pitched, keening whine droned in his ears, drowning out everything else. It grew louder and more intense when he shook his head in an attempt to clear his doubled vision.
 
Bodies lay strewn across the floor. Some charred, some buried beneath chunks of rubble. His heart thudded so fast and hard, he was sure he was going to pass out as he scanned the wreckage, searching for any sign of Taylor. Using his forearms, he pulled himself across the floor and dragged himself over the carnage. An agonizing eternity passed before he found her.
 
She lay on her side not too far from where their booth had been. Ash and a thin layer of dust and soot coated her face. Her eyes, though tortured and haunted with unspeakable fear, locked with his, the contact flooding him with instant relief. Ignoring the shooting pains ravaging his abdomen, he dragged himself to her side. His hands trailed over her face before fluttering over the rest of her in a precursory search. He drew back with a sharp wince when he touched something warm on the back of her head and his palm came back sticky.
 
“Baby…”
 
She grabbed his hand, squeezing it. It was hard to tell through the dust and smoke, not to mention the way his vision swam, but he was pretty sure the look in her eyes was promising him everything was okay.
 
He was too exhausted to move again. Too tired to speak. The pain gripping his body intensified and he shuddered, growling with his efforts not to cry out in pain. Instead, he contented himself with laying down beside her. Their fingers touched. He wanted more. He wanted to pick the small shrapnel of glass and debris out of her skin. He wanted to gather her close and hold her, but the gentle press of their fingertips was all he could muster.
 
“Baas!” Jackson’s voice cut through the ringing, making his temples throb. “Jesus, boss. You’re okay. You’re both okay,” the young man said, dropping to his knees beside them. Blood dribbled from his nose and leaked from his ears, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Hang in there. Help is coming.”
 
He closed his eyes, listening to the shrill wail of sirens as they grew louder and more insistent. Just a few more minutes, he told himself. That was all they needed to get through. Just a few more. Jackson slumped forward and his stomach knotted. Grimacing against the pain, he stared into Taylor’s eyes.
 
“Hold on,” he whispered. “Stay. Please.”
 
She nodded weakly and tried to say that she loved him, but her mouth formed the words without sound. He tried to do the same, but darkness was already starting to close in around him.